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SE 97: Mental Health Doesn't Take a Holiday

December 26, 2024

This Week’s Listener Question: Even though I tried to make the holidays peaceful and wonderful for my family, everything seemed to blow up in my face. How is it that you can do everything “right” as a parent and your kids are still going through major mental health issues? Would you like to be with Laura and Christine as they record their 100th Soul Enchilada episode? If so, email Laura at mailto:laura@3oclockwakeup.com to reserve your seat. The recording will be done the week of January 20, 2025. We hope you’ll be a part of this fun event! SOUL Group Questions: To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions. 1. What mental health issues are talked about in your family? Which ones are kept secret? 2. Why do you think some emotions or experiences are easier to talk about then others, even though they’re universal? 3. How has a painful experience led you towards a career path, opened a door, or invited you into a new opportunity? Share your story. 4. How can you show up, be present, listen without judgment, and lean in with love to someone who is struggling with a mental health issue? Resources: To sign up for one-on-one grief and/or faith support with Laura, visit http://www.griefandhope.org/ To ask Laura to speak at your event – https://www.laurabusse.com/ Have a question for us? Send it to mailto:questions@soulenchilada.com

SE 97: Holiday Panic

December 10, 2024 • Laura Busse and Christine Ruth

This Week’s Listener Question: My college-aged kid came home from school super stressed out! How can I talk her off the ledge when she’s about to have an anxiety attack? SOUL Group Questions: To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions. 1. How do your family members show their anxiety? 2. When you witness someone super anxious, what does it activate in you? 3. What helps you manage your personal anxiety? What’s in your “tool kit”? 4. In what ways can we model calmness in the presence of anxiety? 5. Brainstorm all the ways you can anchor yourself in calmness prior to a stressful situation, such as the holidays. Resources: To sign up for one-on-one grief and/or faith support with Laura, visit http://www.griefandhope.org/ To ask Laura to speak at your event – https://www.laurabusse.com/ Have a question for us? Send it to mailto:questions@soulenchilada.com Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/ Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – http://www.christineruth.com/

SE 96: Why Do I Keep Acting Like That?

November 26, 2024

This Week’s Listener Question: What’s wrong with me? Every time I go home for the holidays, I revert back to my teenage self. I’ve matured so much since the but I act like a rebellious adolescent around my parents and siblings. SOUL Group Questions: To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions. 1. During the holiday, how do you regress or revert back to an older version of yourself? 2. How can you prepare yourself ahead of time for all the stress in this season? What do you need or want that might be different this year? 3. Who could be an ally for you this year, someone who holds you accountable for who you want to be? How can you purposefully plan with them? 4. What 3 values do you want to prioritize this holiday season? How will you live them out? 5. How can you anchor yourself in the person you’re trying to become or create? What the first step? Resources: Laura is hosting 3 free classes during the holidays to help prepare you for all the big emotions that come up this time of year. To register – https://www.griefandhope.org/event-list To sign up for one-on-one grief and/or faith support with Laura, visit http://www.griefandhope.org/ To ask Laura to speak at your event – https://www.laurabusse.com/ Have a question for us? Send it to mailto:questions@soulenchilada.com Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/ Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – http://www.christineruth.com/

SE 95: A House Divided - Navigating Thanksgiving's Family Challenges

November 12, 2024

This Week’s Listener Question: Thanksgiving is in two weeks. I really don’t want to host my extended family because we’re divided on several key topics. How do I navigate family division and still enjoy the holidays? SOUL Group Questions: To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions. 1. When you think about Thanksgiving this year, what feelings and thoughts come up for you? 2. Think of a time when you had “gridlock” with a partner or family member. How have you learned to love in the midst of conflict or disagreements? 3. In what ways could you practice self-care and self-compassion in this post-election and pre-holiday season? 4. Why do you think it’s important to H.A.L.T. (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) a conversation until you can take care of yourself? 5. Where are your safe spaces that you can express your genuine feelings and be present for others to express theirs? Resources: Laura is hosting 3 free classes during the holidays to help prepare you for all the big emotions that come up this time of year. To register – https://www.griefandhope.org/event-list To sign up for one-on-one grief and/or faith support with Laura, visit http://www.griefandhope.org/ To ask Laura to speak at your event – https://www.laurabusse.com/ Have a question for us? Send it to mailto:questions@soulenchilada.com Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/ Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – http://www.christineruth.com/

SE 94: When You're Lost in the Middle

October 29, 2024

This Week’s Listener Question: I’m in a really uncomfortable space. I used to be in breadwinner for our family. Now my husband and I switched places. He’s going to work and I’m staying home with the kids. I feel lost, without direction, in this new role. How do I motivate myself in this weird space? SOUL Group Questions: To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions. 1. What uncomfortable transition or liminal space do you find yourself in? 2. What different emotions are you noticing in your current space? 3. How can you create “sacred space” in this season of your life? What needs to shift in order to do so? 4. Laura and Christine talked about slowing down, honoring your emotions, reflecting, and trusting the process. Which it the hardest for you to do? Why do you think so? 5. What’s your one take away from this podcast you want to remember and apply in your life? Resources: In Midlife by Murray Stein – https://www.amazon.com/midlife-jungian-perspective-murray-stein/dp/1630510890/ref=sr_1_1?crid=9zretnfyq0mj&dib=eyj2ijoimsj9.nftp6i4yg7jbqlbmylrvdeyusbup5rd77gomankhl0ujfv08tc993mvauqcjdim2khzgiq8d509gqqhc7zr9qglo6s--9ggfpgl-yj0bswfp5ouqeg0b8y1fbj5cn4jxpbuvfu4mwghirzvioptbye3y_ms_gy8e1ia8xxfexy0heupceorati2edukj7pvr.aio9o5fymae1ttnt_4arfknmce58wmdcpaqsozuvq4q&dib_tag=se&keywords=murray+stein+midlife&qid=1730140967&sprefix=in+midlife++murra%2caps%2c247&sr=8-1 To sign up for one-on-one grief and/or faith support with Laura, visit http://www.griefandhope.org/ Have a question for us? Send it to mailto:questions@soulenchilada.com Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/ Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – http://www.christineruth.com/

SE 93: I'm Boiling Mad. Turn Up the Heat!

October 14, 2024

This Week’s Listener Question: I grew up in a house where it was wrong to express your anger so I learned to suppress it. Now I’m conflicted because anger feels like a natural response when you’ve been wronged. What do you think? SOUL Group Questions: To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions. 1. What were you taught about anger when you were growing up? 2. Think of a situation that got your angry. What need was not being met? What boundary was being violated? How did you respond? 3. How has anger inspired you to make positive changes in your life? 4. When have you seen others create positive impact in the world because they were angry about something? 5. Where do you need to “turn up the heat” and express your anger in order to bring about greater intimacy, truth, or growth? Make a plan and go for it! Resources: To sign up for one-on-one grief support with Laura, visit http://www.griefandhope.org/ Have a question for us? Send it to mailto:questions@soulenchilada.com Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/ Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – http://www.christineruth.com/

SE 92: Are You "Needy?" Well, Who Isn't?

October 1, 2024

This Week’s Listener Question: All my college friends get together every year for a “Girls Long Weekend.” I really want to go but my husband makes me feel guilty for leaving him at home with the kids. The problem is… he never goes anywhere. What should I do? SOUL Group Questions: To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions. 1. What parts come up for you when you recognize that you have needs? 2. What needs do you have the hardest time expressing? 3. How can you get curious about your needs or real desires? Who do you need to communicate these to? 4. How might you creatively collaborate with others to meet your needs and/or desires? Resources: To sign up for one-on-one grief support with Laura, visit http://griefandhope.org Have a question for us? Send it to mailto:questions@soulenchilada.com Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – HERE Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – HERE

SE 91: God Said What?

September 17, 2024

This Week’s Listener Question: I hear my friends talking about how the Holy Spirit or God is speaking to them so clearly. God doesn’t speak to me clearly. Why don’t I hear from God? And how can I? SOUL Group Questions: To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions. 1. When you were growing up how were you taught to hear from God? 2. How are you listening and/or hearing differently now? 3. How would you describe how God speaks to you or others? 4. What’s one way this week you can be still, lean in, and listen to God’s intimate voice? Resources: The quote Laura shared, “You are best qualified to help the person you used to be.” Ed Mylett To sign up for one-on-one grief support with Laura, visit http://www.griefandhope.org/ Have a question for us? Send it to mailto:questions@soulenchilada.com Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/ Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – http://www.christineruth.com/

SE 90: When the Door Slams Shut

September 3, 2024

This Week’s Listener Question: I’ve been working at the same company for twenty-one years. I’ve been super loyal and helped them become successful. I just found out we’re being bought and my job is being phased out. I’m so mad at them and God! How do I move past this anger and the injustice of it? SOUL Group Questions: To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions. 1. What doors have closed recently for you? 2. When God allows a door to close or a major change to happen in your life, what emotions arise in you? 3. How would you describe your grief journey after a door was slammed shut in your life? 4. How did your identity get pruned or change in the process? 5. What new identities or self-awareness immerged after this major life change? Resources: No Bad Parts by Richard C. Schwartz https://www.amazon.com/no-bad-parts-restoring-wholeness/dp/1683646681/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3sa9hheo4hrhm&dib=eyj2ijoimsj9.dfdtdbfhx07h9hrnf8sc2qqmjmuqmwrtj4m245cnkf_vlbjwncmovtcsltigfab5-c9xqe013pojpgc_dzav5w-pozpvnocas6tiie3t0dimmloeic5sd7rofyyjiwcryqajkgxnsmxeopd2m5p8ek0bgk_i_u1-pohq0-_qvg1qj3eqtujecrcpab15-wfjwdm8qgzg_kag-aq52qpxwyrxnrhpey7jturkm8kj1ho.9pryc9ev4cm-_xd2blnumvhi-vjo8opee_hwezolhdk&dib_tag=se&keywords=no+bad+parts+book&qid=1725231254&sprefix=no+bad+parts+book%2caps%2c151&sr=8-1 Have a question for us? Send it to mailto:questions@soulenchilada.com Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/ Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – http://www.christineruth.com/

SE 89: Showing Up In the Sh!t$how.

August 20, 2024

This Week’s Listener Question: Christine and Laura continue discussing attachment styles. To Laura’s surprise Christine showed up at the recording a “hot mess” having a complete meltdown. Step into their conversation and learn how you can move from chaos to calm and panic to peace. SOUL Group Questions: To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions. 1. When life overwhelms you, what’s usually your first response? 2. How comfortable are you when situations in life spin out of control? Do you get swept up in big emotions or do you try to avoid them at all cost? 3. Lean and listen to the voices in your head. Are you hearing judgement, criticism, compassion, or self-nurture? 4. How are the voices in our heads critical to our wellbeing? Think of a time when your thoughts greatly impacted your feelings and actions. 5. Like Laura did for Christine, in what ways could you step closer to a friend or family member who’s struggling with a big life change? 6. How does moving closer to others in chaos build intimacy and vulnerability? When have you seen this happen in your life? Resources: Attachment Style Assessment – https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/four-attachment-styles/ Wired for Love by Stan Tatkan – https://www.amazon.com/wired-love-understanding-attachment-relationship/dp/1648482961/ref=sr_1_1?crid=dr1r2mxvmvn6&dib=eyj2ijoimsj9.9anfnqncyicbam_wygoaejh9wss-wv_lkww0wx7bppr7yq-j3ob9gyla0ymxojlmyrg08avx1aehnbe_htg4roqp6hz872heh_0knmm2pjkivwzn6-zlcecvjoykju6ikq8m9nqpcswjvesz-bitx_vhnj_sjo67yldaelairkatq0mv2aumlnxss8wcteed_0fjvhaanr8enuzffu5jto7jdr6zt4ijueh_5dtfwow.unpt6b3fmza7it21ehgbrk6b7meywkkma3imtzyqlzc&dib_tag=se&keywords=wired+for+love+stan+tatkin&qid=1718735887&sprefix=wired+for+love%2caps%2c161&sr=8-1 https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/four-attachment-styles/ Have a question for us? Send it to mailto:questions@soulenchilada.com Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – https://www.laurabusse.com/ Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/ Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – http://www.christineruth.com/

SE 88: Who Are You Avoiding?

August 6, 2024

I'm someone who likes being alone. I'm content reading and working on a project. My partner, on the other hand, says I'm distant, aloof, and often distracted. We don't agree on physical touch and how often we should have sex. He wants sex a lot more than I do. How can we get closer? What's wrong with him/ us? Join Dr. Michaelle Knight and me for our final Summer Webinar: PRESS ON WITH PERSEVERENCE AND DESIGN A PLAN. This Thursday, August 8th. Sign up here: http://3oclockwakeup.com/event-details-registration/press-on-with-perseverance-and-design-a-plan

SE 87: When You're Smothered By Another

July 23, 2024

This Week's Listener Question: My partner always wants me to go everywhere he goes. He won’t go to parties, games, church, or vacations without me. It feels like he’s smothering me and I need some space. What should I do without hurting his feelings? Announcements: Summer Webinar Series – You are invited to join Laura Busse and Dr. Michaelle Knight August 8 – Press On with Perseverance and Make a Plan Sign up here: https://http://www.3oclockwakeup.com/event-details-registration/press-on-with-perseverance-and-design-a-plan Hope to see you there! SOUL Group Questions: To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions. 1. Reflecting on your family of origin and caregivers when you were a child, how would you describe how your needs were met? What messages did you receive about how to express your emotions? 2. Did you grow up seeing any of these patterns of anxious attachment – clinging, controlling, people pleasing, helplessness, placating, or jealousy? Do you see them in your relationships today? 3. Why do you think anxious attachment styles are common in relationships? 4. In what ways can we be connected to others yet still differentiated? 5. Celebrate one of your relationships that feels connected and you still have your own autonomy. Or choose one you’d like to move in that direction. Make a plan to communicate or celebrate with them. Resources: Attachment Style Assessment – Take the Quiz Wired for Love by Stan Tatkan – Book Attachment Styles in Adult Relationships - Complete Guide Have a question for us? Send it to mailto:questions@soulenchilada.com Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – HERE Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – HERE Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – HERE

SE 86: Can I Have Solid Relationships After a Shaky Childhood?

July 9, 2024

This Week’s Listener Question: I’ve been learning about attachment styles and how we develop unhealthy attachment styles if we didn’t have secure attachment with our parents when we were growing up. I didn’t have one with my parents, so I’m wondering how to form a secure attachment with God and others. Is it possible? Announcements: Summer Webinar Series – You are invited to join Laura Busse and Dr. Michaelle Knight July 18 – Embrace Disappointment and Dream Again August 8 – Press On with Perseverance and Make a Plan Sign up https://http://www.3oclockwakeup.com/event-details-registration/embrace-disappointment-and-dream-again – Hope to see you there! SOUL Group Questions: To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions. • Reviewing the four attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, which one did you experience in your family of origin? • We invite you to take the attachment assessment below. What did you learn about yourself? • What attachment style do you lean towards? Any thoughts of why this might be? • Think of all the ways attachment styles play out in the world around you. How do they impact your relationship with God (however you define God), yourself, and others? What’s one way you could step closer and grow in one of these relationships? Resources: Attachment Style Assessment – Take the Quiz Wired for Love by Stan Tatkan – Book Have a question for us? Send it to mailto:questions@soulenchilada.com Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – HERE Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – HERE Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – HERE

SE 85: Attach Yourself

June 26, 2024

This Week's Listener Question: My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. There's nothing wong with the relationship. On paper we look perfect, but I feel restless and bored. Should I practice gratitude and find contentment, or is this a sign I should leave the relationship? Announcement: Are you in a time of transition? Do you need coaching and teaching to take steps in a new direction? You are invited to join Laura's summer webinar with Dr Michaelle Knight. July 18 and August 8 - go to http://3oclockwakeup.com/\transitions-webinar-workshop

SE 84: Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes - TRANSITION and Face the Change

June 4, 2024

This Week’s Listener Question: Wow! I just got terrible news which will greatly impact my upcoming plans. I feel like I’m swimming in the soup of confusion, disappointment, and crisis. How do I figure out where to start when I can’t even think straight? Announcements: Are you in a season of TRANSITION? Do you want to find firm footing in times of change? Then sign up for Laura’s Summer Webinars with Dr. Michaelle Knight! https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/event-details-registration/trust-in-times-of-trial June 13, July 18, August 8 – every month we guide you through new doors that lead to growth & hope! SOUL Group Questions: To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions. 1. When your plans get unexpectedly interrupted and you find yourself in a time of transition, what emotions come up for you? 2. In times of transition, what strategies have you tried that have NOT been helpful? 3. Christine taught us how to un-blend our emotions or “parts”. What resonated with you? What strategies are you willing to try? What motivates you to un-blend your “parts” or emotions? 4. What’s one thing you can do to find an anchor in your anxiety or silence and solitude to promote calm in your life? Resources: Are you in a season of TRANSITION? Do you want to find firm footing in times of change? Then sign up for Laura’s Summer Webinars with Dr. Michaelle Knight! https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/event-details-registration/trust-in-times-of-trial Have a question for us? Send it to mailto:questions@soulenchilada.com Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – https://www.laurabusse.com/ Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/ Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – http://www.christineruth.com/

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