October 1, 2023 • Sean O'Connell
If a relationship will be brought to full reconciliation, it won’t happen until the (more) mature person decides to make a move in the direction of the relationship. As we wrap up the series, we’ll put together all of the steps we have covered, along with a new one, that are needed to bring the relationship back together. It includes forgiving from the heart, owning your slice, making the first move, and expressing forgiveness to people who apologize.
It’s easy for all of us to point out the wrong that someone else has done to us. It’s a little more challenging to point out the ways we have been wrong. But reconciliation only has a chance when you begin by identifying our owning your slice of the blame pie. You might be 50% responsible for the broken relationship. You might only be 5%. But restoration begins with owning your slice of the pie… and apologizing for it.
If you have a wound, it will either get infected or it will heal. There’s no third option. The same is true when someone sins against you. Your inner life will either heal, or it will get infected. But there’s some misinformation about forgiveness that can keep us from practicing it. In this message, we’ll address some common myths about forgiveness, and uncover exactly what forgiveness is and how it works. Forgiveness is not minimizing the seriousness of the offense (it’s important to acknowledge it’s a big deal). Forgiveness is not reconciliation (reconciliation is not always available). Forgiveness isn’t a team sport. It’s a one player game. Forgiveness is not forgetting what happened (it might be impossible to forget). Forgiveness is not a feeling, and it is not fair. So, what is it? Forgiveness is a choice. And if you decide to make the choice, healing will begin.
