Building Back Better From the Inside Out

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Building Back Better From the Inside Out

Find A Faithful Network of Supporters

January 26, 2022 • Pastor Ludence Robinson

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Building Back Better from the Inside Out
“Find A Network of Faithful Supporters”
2 Samuel 21 :15-22
15 Once again there was a battle between the Philistines and Israel. David went down with his men to fight against the Philistines, and he became exhausted. 16 And Ishbi-Benob, one of the descendants of Rapha, whose bronze spearhead weighed three hundred shekels and who was armed with a new sword, said he would kill David. 17 But Abishai son of Zeruiah came to David’s rescue; he struck the Philistine down and killed him. Then David’s men swore to him, saying, “Never again will you go out with us to battle, so that the lamp of Israel will not be extinguished.”
As we continue to examine our theme for the year, building back better, I would like to reiterate what pastor has suggested, that the best way to build back better is to implement a particular strategy, that strategy being to rebuild from within.
• Our primary concern when rebuilding spiritually is too always begin from the inside out, and not from the outside in.
Anyone can build exterior walls, but interior walls take a lot more effort and detail. Pastor has begun the building process by suggesting 10 helpful tips that he introduced initially to us the last time we were here.
1. Acknowledge the need to be built back better
2. Find a network of faithful supporters
3. Find the pathway for forgiveness
4. Create an avenue to trust again
5. Practice positive self-talk
6. Create a system for maintaining progress
7. Place limitations on self-pity
8. Learn the lesson and purpose not to repeat it
9. Discern what you can’t live with …decide what you can’t live without
10. Focus on living
This evening, I would like for us to focus on the second step of these 10 principles, which is…Find A Network of Faithful Supporters.
• Having supporters is a very powerful thing!

First let us consider the idea of support.:

what is the meaning of support?
Support can mean several things:
As a VERB support means to:

1. To bear all or part of the weight of; to hold up, to prop up, to keep up, to brace, to reinforce.
2. To give assistance to, especially financially; to enable to function or act, to aid, to assist, to contribute to, to give money to.
3. To uphold or to back up the truth of; corroborate, to give force to, to bear out.

As a NOUN support means:

1. a thing that bears the weight of something or keeps it upright, a base, a pillar or post.
2. material assistance, maintenance, sustenance
3. a person/s who helps with any given tasks

Although the word “support” does not appear in the scriptures as a word, it is FOUND here as an idea or concept.

For example
In Scripture we see God as the POWERFUL support

Psalm 55:22
Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.

Isaiah 40:29-31
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 41:10
so do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

In Scripture we see friendship as a NEEDFUL support

Proverbs 27:17
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

2 Corinthians 1:4
who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

In Scripture we see relationships as HELPFUL support
Exodus 17:12
When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset.

Galatians 6:2
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Romans 15:1-3
We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. 2 Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up. 3 For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: “The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.”

Sunantilambanomai is a Greek word that corresponds to our English word support. It means to take hold at the side, to take a share in, generally to help - properly, to give assistance with full initiative – supplying help that exactly corresponds to the need.

The simplest meaning of the word is “to help” or “to assist” there are literally only two places where the word is translated help.

Luke 10:40
But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

Romans 8:26
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.

In other words, support is not something that we can conjure up on our own, we need a supporting cast. The need for help is something we all crave, and at times we fail to ask for it. We tend to make our own way, and so asking for assistance is at times foreign to us. And we develop the idea that we can make on our own. However, if you were to reflect on our own lives; someone, somewhere at some time helped us in some small insignificant way. Be it a parent, aunt, uncle, cousin, friend, foe, teacher, principal, counsel, employer, coworker etc. They came to our aid at the right time and at the right place offering themselves and their support.

This was where David found himself, back in familiar territory, but now. he was older, slower, and not as keen as he use to be. He was no longer the giant slayer he once was full of vigor and vitality. His strength and stemma were now fading.

David was once again on the battle. The Israel and the Philistines were at war. And so, David with his men went out to fight against this familiar foe. It was the Philistines again, but this time, it was against Goliath’s brother, his three cousins and the rest of the Philistine’s Army. And although many years had passed there was still some bitterness over the death of Goliath of Gath which his family had never forgotten. However, this time it was different David went out with his men but as the battle drew on, according to the text David “became exhausted”. And he was almost slain by one of the descendants of Rapha, a giant by the named of Ishbi-be-nob.

How can you and I survive the onslaught of life when it keeps coming at us to the point of exhaustion?
I believe that David had what everyone of us needs at times when we are exhausted, and that is a Network of faithful supporters or a supporting cast. Key people who play very significant roles in our lives. There were several men that came to David’s aid four to be exact.

1. Abishai (Gift of God)
2. Sibbecai (God intervenes)
3. Elhanan (God is gracious)
4. Jonathan (God has given)

This network of faithful supporters will support you in four ways:
1. When you need resources, they are there to equip you.
2. When things get too difficult for you to handle, they are there to help you.
3. When you are spiritually depleted, they are there to sufficiently assist you
4. When you are discouraged, they are there to motive you.

How do we develop a faithful support system in the church?
1. By joining a ministry where your gifts can be augmented.
2. By becoming part of a prayer group belonging to that ministry.
3. By keeping yourself accountable to others within the ministry.
4. By always being willing to give of yourself (time, talent, treasure & temple) to ministry endeavors.

Building Back Better From the Inside Out

April 6, 2022 • Pastor Arthur Jackson III

BUILDING BACK BETTER FROM THE INSIDE OUT “Place Limitations on Self-Pity” 2 Samuel 12:16-20 Life Is Tough.  Unexpected circumstances constantly arise.  Relationships end leaving us totally devastated.  We are ambushed by the unexpected.  Opportunities for advancement pass us by.  We fall prey to bad choices and poor decisions. There are a plethora of things that don’t go the way we want them to go in life, and when they don’t, it’s natural for us to feel sorry for ourselves and have “Pity-Parties”. Here’s the thing though: It’s OK to feel “down-and-out” for a short period of time as it relates to any one of the aforementioned instances and more. In fact, I believe that it’s important (even necessary) to feel, and even express the emotion of those circumstances instead of holding them in. However, problems arise when we get stuck in self-pity and it becomes our automatic default setting. It’s dangerous for self-pity to be the go-to reaction whenever life hits us hard.  “Self-Pity” - Excessive feelings of sympathy, sorrow and pity toward self in regard to one's own internal and external experiences of suffering. SELF-PITY IS NOT AN EMOTION IN ITSELF IT IS A STATE OF MIND. • WE HAVE TO GUARD OUR MIND Self-pity happens when we focus too much on our own problems and believe that we are the victims of our circumstances. This mental focus however, leads us to feel emotions like sadness, anxiety, depression and most importantly helplessness. Becoming stuck in this mindset means we run the risk of never learning from our mistakes in a positive way. It also stops us from feeling empowered, finding solutions and achieving what we want in the long term. It’s Easy To Fall Into The Trap Of Self-Pity Because Pity Feels Good Self-pity feels good because it validates your experience; it also takes the blame and responsibility off you. In the big picture, self-pity is the outlook of someone who sees himself or herself as the victim and the victim deserves attention, care and comforting. So in a twisted kind of way, self-pity is a very comforting way to look at life and at oneself. It feels safe and some people need time in that stage before they are ready to face the challenges of an unfair world, or taking responsibility for their failures. How Do We Break Out of Self Pity? Give Yourself Permission To Feel The Emotion  Suppressing pain, disappointment and sadness is unhealthy As humans we are meant to feel the whole gamut of emotions. Trying to always remain positive in the midst of a negative situation may mean constantly suppressing our real emotions. Doing that is not good for you nor for others, because those emotions are more than likely to manifest later.  GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO FEEL WHAT YOU ARE REALLY FEELING  EX. - DAVID’S RESPONSE TO GOD’S PUNISHMENT o READ - 2 SAMUEL 12:16-17 BECOME AWARE OF THE AFFECT SELF-PITY IS HAVING ON OTHERS There is a turning point between a healthy feeling of hurt and sadness and moving onto self-pity. And because it feels good to begin with (as I mentioned earlier) it’s easy to miss the turn around. Feeling sorry for yourself not only creates pain for you, but it also has an affect on others too. Although others initially respond to self-pity with empathic concern, the interpersonal effects of on going expressions of self-pity can be detrimental. Individuals that engage in pervasive self-pity may be more likely to be rejected by their peers and may commonly be perceived as complainers.  Think about it, how many people really want to be around a person who is always feeling down? o READ - 2 SAMUEL 12:18-19 REFUSE TO TAKE ON A VICTIM’S MENTALITY  “Victim’s mentality” - is an acquired personality trait in which a person tends to recognize or consider themselves a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave as if this were the case in the face of contrary evidence of such circumstances. A person with a victim’s mentality typically feels personally victimized by anything that goes wrong, even when the problem, rude behavior or mishap wasn't directed at them. They may or may not show much interest in hearing possible solutions.  Fight To Pull Yourself Out Of It o READ - 2 SAMUEL 12:20 CHANGE THE HIDDEN QUESTION THAT KEEPS YOU STUCK As humans, we ask ourselves questions all the time. In fact, it is the basis of our internal communication. And the answers we receive are based on the quality of the questions. The question victims most often ask themselves is “Why?” “Why is this happening to me?” “Why did she do that?” “Why did he say that to me?” The problem is these are low quality questions. And because our unconscious mind immediately answers those questions, it will give low quality answers. For example: “Because you’re not good enough...” “Because she doesn’t like you” “Because he doesn’t value you.” Any question beginning with “Why” will keep you stuck in your current situation feeling like a victim! Therefore make a decision to banish the word “Why” from your vocabulary and replace it with words like “What”, “How” and “When”. For example: “What can I do to get a different outcome?” “When will I contact her and explain how I feel?” “How can I change the situation?” As you change the quality of your questions, you will notice how much more empowered you feel regardless of the actions of others.

Building Back Better From the Inside Out

March 30, 2022 • Pastor Arthur Jackson III

“Building Better From The Inside Out” Learn The Lesson, So, You Don’t Have to Repeat It! I grew up in an era where children were heavily influenced by the creative genius of Charles M. Schultz. For those of you who aren’t familiar with that name, Schultz was an American cartoonist who was best known for creating the comic strip, “PEANUTS”. His most famous characters are names that I’m sure you’ve heard of:  CHARLIE BROWN, SNOOPY, LINUS, PEPPERMINT PATTY, LUCY, SALLY, MARCIE, PIGPEN, SCHROEDER, AND FRANKLIN One of the most memorable episodes in Peanuts history was the annual SAGA OF THE SWIPE: which of course involved Lucy, Charlie Brown, and that infamous football. This epic drama repeated itself every September for over 50 years and became the paradigm for the uneasy tension between trust and betrayal, hope and despair. To a kid of course, it was the continuous acts of failure that stood out the most. No single act better encapsulated a child’s feeling of powerlessness than Charlie Brown’s failure to kick the football, and I personally felt his frustration and disappointment. No matter how many times Lucy reassured Charlie Brown that she would not swipe the ball away, and no matter how many times she went back on her word, Charlie still chose to engage in the same behavior and ultimately kept paying the same price, over and over again. Charlie Brown constantly found himself torn between the obligatory trust that one should have in a friend, and the foreseeable consequences of trusting Lucy. And unfortunately, it was that conflict which prevented Charlie from learning from the experience and thus repeating that negative pattern. HOWEVER, WE CANNOT BE TOO HARD ON CHARLIE BROWN  We’ve All Had Some “Lucy’s” In Our Lives  There are “professional swipers”. Sometimes, we feel like Charlie Brown—doomed to keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again, however there is a way to break the cycle of repeated negative behaviors, and it starts by Learning the Lesson and Purposing Not to Repeat It. Certainly, it goes without saying we must go through life always looking forward, but we must understand our history (look back) to not repeat the mistakes of the past. I have seen too many instances where people continued to pursue wrong courses of action because they did not take the time to think critically about what has happened in the past. “THOSE WHO FAIL TO LEARN FROM HISTORY ARE DOOMED TO REPEAT IT.’ – Sir Winston Churchill ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR MISTAKES WITHOUT FEARING THEM  A healthy recognition of failure helps you grow Trust me, it can be hard to admit failure, but if you run from it, you’ll lose out on the chance to learn from it. Admit the mistake to yourself or the person it affected, so you can re-examine how it happened and do better next time. If facing your errors makes you anxious or frightened, remind yourself of a few things: • Every single person has had lapses in judgment. [e.g., Will Smith/Oscars] • Most failures are temporary setbacks, rather than absolute disasters. • People who achieve great things often had great failures along the way. ACCEPT THAT MISTAKES PLAY AN INVALUABLE ROLE IN YOUR LIFE  Mistakes are both unavoidable and useful  “FAILURE IS NATURE’S CHISEL THAT CHIPS AWAY AT ALL THE EXCES, STRIPPING DOWN EGOS AS IT MOLDS AND SHAPES US THROUGH DIVINE INTENTIONS.” – ANONYMOUS IF we never made mistakes and always avoided failure, we’d be less capable of showing compassion, having empathy, displaying kindness, and achieving great heights. Failure is a stepping-stone. In fact, there are four very powerful life lessons that failure helps to tech and instill in us. 1) Experience – The first important lesson gained from making colossal mistakes is experience. When we go through something and can walk away with firsthand experience, it helps us to develop a deeper understanding for life. 2) Knowledge – Failure brings with it important firsthand knowledge. That knowledge can be harnessed in the future to overcome that very failure that inflicted so much pain in the first place. 3) Resilience – Failing in life helps to build resilience. The more we fail, the more resilient we become. To achieve great success, we must know resilience. 4) Growth – Failure births maturity. Life is designed for us to grow and improve. Like fertilizer on grass, the mistakes we’ve made in life helps us to grow. IDENTIFY BEHAVIORS THAT LEAD TO MISTAKES.  Examine your life for behavior patterns you'd like to work on If you're caught in a loop making the same mistakes over and over, it's probably because you have a “BLIND SPOT” in how you're viewing certain situations and behaving within it. Accidents happen daily because an unsuspecting car was in a driver’s blind spot.  I Cor.11:28 – “But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup.” • Try to face the hidden motivations behind your behavior. • Why are you acting the way you are? • Why are you saying the things you do? • Why are thinking the way you are? GIVE YOURSELF TOOLS TO AVOID REPEATING MISTAKES. I vividly remember after purchasing my first home my father told me I needed to have some tools! He assured me that despite the house being relatively new, that eventually things were going to go wrong, and I needed to have the proper tools to fix them.  We Need Tools to Avoid Making Mistakes You can't just shout at yourself to do better and expect it to magically happen. Approach your difficulties with a realistic mindset and take steps in advance to stop old patterns from playing out again. Learn Your Behavioral Triggers.  Find out what triggers your behavior and adapt to it Very Few People Go-Off for No Reason at All! What situations or events lead to the behaviors you're unhappy with? Your mistakes don't just appear out of nowhere. They can be encouraged by other people, stressful events, and even little things like missing a meal. Identifying these patterns is the first step toward changing your response to them or preventing them from coming up in the first place. FIND A PARTNER IN SELF-IMPROVEMENT.  Trade encouragement with an accountability partner Someone you can check in with for encouragement can help you stick to your goals once the initial motivation wears off.: • Find someone who is non-judgmental and can give positive reinforcement. • The more seriously you both take it, the more helpful it will be. Choose someone who is willing to commit to scheduled check-ins, and not back out on them. PICK YOURSELF UP AFTER SETBACKS. There are two types of people in this world, people who take failure personally, see it as a permanent situation and give up, and there are people who use it as a lesson, do not take it personally but see it as a temporary setback. Setbacks will happen; what matters is how you respond to them. Changing old habits, unpacking your own trauma, facing your relationship to failure: all of this is valuable work, but it can also be difficult and draining on a bad day. It is completely normal to feel confident and motivated at one moment, and then fall into pessimism and regret. When you do make a mistake again, there are ways to get back on track: • While you're still feeling the negative emotions, seek support from the right people in the right environment—people who won't judge you, and places that won't trigger more negative behaviors. • After you're feeling a bit better, look back at how the setback happened. Maybe something unexpectedly triggered strong emotions in you—work out why, and how you could avoid that next time. • Think about how your coping strategies failed. Is there a way to make them easier or more accessible? • Finally, think about how you handled the setback during the worst of it. Is there a healthier and faster way to get through the dark times?

Building Back Better From the Inside Out

March 16, 2022 • Pastor Arthur Jackson III

“Building Better From The Inside Out” CREATING A SYSTEM TO MAINTAIN PROGRESS Over the past several weeks through the aid of the Holy Spirit, I have endeavored to provide a list of things that could possibly be done for you to build back better from the inside out. I have suggested that we: • Acknowledge the need to be built back better • Find a network of faithful supporters • Find a pathway to forgive • Create an avenue to trust again • Practice positive self talk However, in doing the aforementioned things, it’s important to realize that once we have started making progress, we then need to create A SYSTEM for maintaining it. WHAT ARE SYSTEMS?  Systems are defined as a set of processes, tools, and strategies that all work together to solve a problem or achieve a goal. It’s the steps you take to achieve something. Often, we hear about systems and processes when it comes to businesses. After all, having solid systems in place allows a business to run like a well-oiled machine while making it more streamlined, productive, and profitable. When you eliminate the thinking part as to how to get something done and have a process for similar recurring things — efficiency increases. However, systems and processes are not just for businesses. You can create systems to simplify and streamline your life, too. GOALS VS. SYSTEMS For years conventional wisdom has taught us to achieve success we must be “goal oriented”. We have been taught to set specific and attainable goals.  Goals for making certain grades  Goals of getting into a certain college  Goals of graduating college  Goals of finding a job in our field  Goals of having a family  Goals of being able to retire However, I can attest that in most cases my results had very little to do with the goals I set, but nearly everything to do with the systems I followed. • Every coach enters the season with the same GOAL—to win a championship. The winning coach has a great SYSTEM - good development and recruitment of players, good management of assistant coaches, and productive practices. • Every entrepreneur has a GOAL of building a million-dollar business. The SYSTEM is how you test product ideas, hire employees, and run marketing campaigns. • Every principal has a GOAL of leading an A-School. The SYSTEM however is the hiring of motivated student-leaders, the development of parental involvement, and the creation of a positive learning environment  I Maintain Systems Are More Important Than Goals 1. Winners and losers share goals in common 2. A goal is only a momentary change 3. Goals are at odds with long-term progress 4. Goals restrict happiness The question tonight then becomes, Are goals completely useless? Should we abandon our goals? Of course not! Goals are good for setting a DIRECTION, but systems are best for making PROGRESS! 4 STEPS TO CREATING SYSTEMS FOR YOUR LIFE STEP 1: VISUALIZE TO CREATE SYSTEMS FOR YOUR LIFE, BEGIN BY REFLECTING. Start by thinking about the goals that are most important to you right now. Then, self-audit your day and pinpoint the daily interruptions and distractions you face. Where are you wasting your time and energy? What parts of your day hold you back from achieving your goals? From there, you can begin to decide how you want your days to play out. STEP 2: CATEGORIZE Businesses have a range of systems for all sorts of aspects: marketing, accounting, human resources, and more. The next step is to do the same and create categories for the various aspects of your life. Of course, yours will look much different from a business. Examples include family, work obligations, spiritual growth, and personal development or self-care. STEP 3: SYSTEMIZE Now, for everybody’s favorite part: creating the actual systems. This requires us to think back to the current goals we’re prioritizing in the various categories of our life, and essentially determine the specific activities we’re aiming to systemize and create our own foolproof method for completing them. STEP 4: CUSTOMIZE Our lives move in ebbs and flows. With our goals, priorities, and daily circumstances constantly changing, so will our systems. Never be afraid to adjust your systems! Making tweaks is necessary to continue growing. If something’s no longer working, adjust to it, and create a new one.