SE 68: What Goes Around Comes Around: Caring for Elderly Parents

The 3 O'Clock Wake Up Call

SE 68: What Goes Around Comes Around: Caring for Elderly Parents

February 13, 2024 • Laura Busse and Christine Ruth

What goes around comes around, as the saying goes. Caring for elderly parents bring up so many emotions that’s impossible to list them all here. Couple these with the overlay of decades of family dynamics and you’ve got yourself a good old fashioned mine field. This week we talk about walking through that mine field in ways that preserve relationships… and sanity.

This Week’s Listener Question:

Laura and Christine,

You've talked a lot about love, tough love, enabling vs. coming alongside in relationships. But I am in a new season of life and the challenge has switched from me being the parent on a parent child relationship, to me being the adult child dealing with an aging parent. I see friends who are personally doing everything as a caregiver for their aging parent, sacrificing their own health and well-being, relationships and finances because they think they are required or responsible to personally take care of their parents. As I am preparing to have conversations with my own parents about this matter, can you give me some insight as to if we are required as Christians or good adult children to personally take care of our parents? Or is it ok to hire caregivers and professionals to do so, even if the parent disagrees to the extent of shaming or worse, like refusing to eat or take meds unless their adult child is the one to do it for them? Thanks!

SOUL Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions.

1. What honest, open, and loving conversations do you need to have with your family? What fears come up for you when you think about having these talks? What positive outcomes could come out of having these conversations?

2. In this season of your life, what are a few of your deepest desires? What holds you back from sharing these desires with your family members? How could sharing them draw you closer together?

3. In your own words, describe what you think leading with love in conversations sounds like and feels like?

Resources:

Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity by Peter Attia

Book

Have a questions for us? Send it to questions@soulenchilada.com

Learn more about Laura and The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/

Learn more about Christine Ruth: http://www.christineruth.com/

Learn more about Laura’s Faith Studies: https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/bible-studies

SE 83: Negative Thoughts In My Head

May 28, 2024

This Week’s Listener Question: I’ve been a person of faith along time AND I still wrestle with negative talk in my head. How do I stop all the negative chatter? SOUL Group Questions: To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions. 1. Draw a map of your mind and label different areas with thoughts that often repeat. Which ones do you think are negative (-) thoughts, which ones are positive (+) thoughts? You can label or color code them. 2. Look at each thought you recorded, who’s voice is in your mind? It’s common to have more than one voice competing for your attention. 3. How did some of these voices protect you as a child or lead you to become the person you are today? 4. What would it look like to befriend or be curious about each voice you labelled? 5. Laura shared these insights from her neurobiology class. What gets our attention, focuses our thoughts’ direction, builds new neuro connections, and leads to personal transformation. How does knowing this encourage you to intentionally choose what you pay attention to? Give an example where you’ve seen this play out in your life. Resources: Becoming Aware by Daniel Seigel – https://www.amazon.com/becoming-aware-mindfulness-reducing-cultivating/dp/0143111817/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3fpjo576cvmbs&dib=eyj2ijoimsj9.y5maycqaxokhm6gxmkaehkxqfoadwzhrhn2ac1x5edvvqeh4414ovjgau2_n8zrhrux9llw5ybuzy3dwoedjjw._otxgtota0prtfe1dzqpjsjnpzzhbycisyrlckko0me&dib_tag=se&keywords=dan+siegel+becoming+aware&qid=1716818191&sprefix=dan+seigel+becoming+aware%2caps%2c219&sr=8-1 The Artist’s Way By Julia Cameron – https://www.amazon.com/artists-way-25th-anniversary/dp/0143129252/ref=sr_1_1?crid=zusleswb32dj&dib=eyj2ijoimsj9.j2bnwhjkonpfltx6-onenxmvz_m8sdrq-gezlzk27scxdku4aam5_pbawb_z2nt_yywcxv1xsgd3zj-_k8cqtzuuef0l2oxefzlt7jyhfdv5tsfs83aavbxzsbjnvxq1dgckzhorcfgfkyis1h-ocezpleglw0uenpq-qs1i_vi_bojyo8xnvtiylava8twolmz29b2mt8begxyyx494vzeqdc_2kqnjrpo11x8ueuc.aybpz1tcj5xm2trkz-hkjuwop41vyjtrhwips9gmklo&dib_tag=se&keywords=the+art%27s+way+julia+cameron&qid=1716818321&sprefix=the+art%27s+way+julia+cameron%2caps%2c173&sr=8-1 I.F.S Therapy – 8 C’s calm, clarity, compassion, connection, confidence, courage, creativity, curiosity Have a question for us? Send it to mailto:questions@soulenchilada.com Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – https://www.laurabusse.com/ Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/ Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – http://www.christineruth.com/

SE 82: Lonely and Looking For Love

May 21, 2024

This Week’s Listener Question: I’m really lonely. I wish I could find a life partner. I’ve always wanted to get married. It’s really hard on the weekends. I don’t trust dating apps. How do I learn to be content with being alone? SOUL Group Questions: To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions. 1. When do you often feel lonely? How can you relate to this woman’s question? 2. Where do you find external community and a sense of belonging? 3. In what ways can you develop inner self-love or radical acceptance? 4. What vows can you make to yourself? Brainstorm several then pick your top 3-5. Soul Challenge: Write 3-5 personal vows you pledge to yourself. Post them somewhere you’ll see often. Resources: The Heroine’s Journey Workbook by Maureen Murdock – https://www.amazon.com/heroines-journey-workbook-every-womans/dp/1611808316/ref=sr_1_1?crid=xvwpyrkuxia6&dib=eyj2ijoimsj9.kjazea_n6tkojypzzgbavuctejbn0ntwwu6zzjtmii8twelqmvpokdo7hx3eq1ysk8eijeadhbxxznmle5n5ayqfwekgf2yrtz8q5gfuw3hzcb_pvyj4r5plkjgkclxixrngkfjiw9xaz2kqeyij7qvf2antvcdo6z8khpk3zemobgrius9svzfuj8g-xi7cezmzph9gwgqnromv1rocpdfj_ps6ybdyk4aqp_k66lu.ro5iflz0wo16mwbo-ou_2u8f9lnzo6ns9-ffpjtgbyw&dib_tag=se&keywords=heroine%27s+journey+workbook&qid=1715461230&sprefix=heroine%27s+journey+%2caps%2c153&sr=8-1 God, Sex, and Musical Theatre by Kristin Hanggi https://www.amazon.com/s?k=god+sex+and+musical+theatre&crid=1kb8mwk87rus7&sprefix=god+sex+and+musical+theatre%2caps%2c141&ref=nb_sb_noss_2 Have a question for us? Send it to mailto:questions@soulenchilada.com Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – https://www.laurabusse.com/ Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/ Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – http://www.christineruth.com/

SE 81: Heroine's Journey Part 9: At The Crossroads, Is It Worth The Risk?

May 14, 2024 • Laura Busse and Christine Ruth

This Week’s Listener Question: I’m a single woman now. My husband died five years ago from cancer. I’ve always had a dream of doing mission work and recently found out I could be a nurse with Doctor’s Without Borders. I’ve never had the courage to change my life so dramatically. Do I follow my dream or stay in my comfort zone and continue to do what’s practical? SOUL Group Questions: To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions. 1. When have you stood at a cross road and had to make a risky choice? What dreams and fears collided at that choice point? 2. Who do you identify as an ancient of days heroine? How can see model for you? 3. When have you taken a radical risk to pursue a dream or desire? What did you learn about yourself in the process? 4. If you choose to live a bold, brave, or risky life, who will you be influencing? Soul Challenge: Christine and Laura are unpacking the Heroine’s Journey. What questions are arising for you? Please submit them at http://www.soulenchilada.com Resources: Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief by David Kessler – https://www.amazon.com/finding-meaning-sixth-stage-grief/dp/1501192744/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3vbng5w5ruobv&dib=eyj2ijoimsj9.kc45mujderglgsipvj0x5kjletkfvcogozcmpmdytlhbpkl9umpdvs8xcqq5qbmjhul5vloap9mcc0yenpptshvbtgfvbr_civgbyivqsxsf5a6voi0tr96rivqid2mlmqssadijo45jdorevjsp-ryopz-3vwaaoapgkzpdubgzjahrtn8k1_b0ojguolltgnaflngkyco4c3yoyzqzdfsa-zd1awkiaan9jxsfdoy.v7kge-h1qgowdpqwuomlcaujjced9zefagizgxnhwdw&dib_tag=se&keywords=finding+meaning+david+kessler&qid=1715461120&sprefix=finding+meaning%2caps%2c177&sr=8-1 The Heroine’s Journey Workbook by Maureen Murdock – https://www.amazon.com/heroines-journey-workbook-every-womans/dp/1611808316/ref=sr_1_1?crid=xvwpyrkuxia6&dib=eyj2ijoimsj9.kjazea_n6tkojypzzgbavuctejbn0ntwwu6zzjtmii8twelqmvpokdo7hx3eq1ysk8eijeadhbxxznmle5n5ayqfwekgf2yrtz8q5gfuw3hzcb_pvyj4r5plkjgkclxixrngkfjiw9xaz2kqeyij7qvf2antvcdo6z8khpk3zemobgrius9svzfuj8g-xi7cezmzph9gwgqnromv1rocpdfj_ps6ybdyk4aqp_k66lu.ro5iflz0wo16mwbo-ou_2u8f9lnzo6ns9-ffpjtgbyw&dib_tag=se&keywords=heroine%27s+journey+workbook&qid=1715461230&sprefix=heroine%27s+journey+%2caps%2c153&sr=8-1 Have a question for us? Send it to mailto:questions@soulenchilada.com Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – https://www.laurabusse.com/ Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/ Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – http://www.christineruth.com/