SE 66: Are you a Peacemaker or a Peacekeeper?

The 3 O'Clock Wake Up Call

SE 66: Are you a Peacemaker or a Peacekeeper?

January 30, 2024 • Laura Busse and Christine Ruth

Conflict. Peace MAKERS resolve it, while peace KEEPERS avoid it. While making peace is harder, it is better in the long run, because the conflict you avoid today will find you tomorrow. This week we talk strategies for how to best handle conflicts in order to minimize their impacts on your mental health and sanity.

This Week’s Listener Question:

My husband and I often fight in front of our kids. I really don’t like conflict and try to keep the peace. What’s your advice for dealing with family conflict?

Small Group Questions:

To build connection with a friend or in your small group, ask each other these questions.

1. What’s your window of tolerance when it comes to conflict?

2. What childhood stories can you remember that impacted your window of tolerance?

3. Make a list of the differences between peace keeping and peace making? Circle the ones you do most often.

4. How can you actively resolve conflict instead of avoiding it? That’s peace making!

Resources:

Making Marriage Work by John Gottman – Video

Fighting for Your Marriage – Book

Non-Violent Communication – Book

SE 81: Heroine's Journey Part 9: At The Crossroads, Is It Worth The Risk?

May 14, 2024 • Laura Busse and Christine Ruth

This Week’s Listener Question: I’m a single woman now. My husband died five years ago from cancer. I’ve always had a dream of doing mission work and recently found out I could be a nurse with Doctor’s Without Borders. I’ve never had the courage to change my life so dramatically. Do I follow my dream or stay in my comfort zone and continue to do what’s practical? SOUL Group Questions: To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions. 1. When have you stood at a cross road and had to make a risky choice? What dreams and fears collided at that choice point? 2. Who do you identify as an ancient of days heroine? How can see model for you? 3. When have you taken a radical risk to pursue a dream or desire? What did you learn about yourself in the process? 4. If you choose to live a bold, brave, or risky life, who will you be influencing? Soul Challenge: Christine and Laura are unpacking the Heroine’s Journey. What questions are arising for you? Please submit them at http://www.soulenchilada.com Resources: Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief by David Kessler – https://www.amazon.com/finding-meaning-sixth-stage-grief/dp/1501192744/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3vbng5w5ruobv&dib=eyj2ijoimsj9.kc45mujderglgsipvj0x5kjletkfvcogozcmpmdytlhbpkl9umpdvs8xcqq5qbmjhul5vloap9mcc0yenpptshvbtgfvbr_civgbyivqsxsf5a6voi0tr96rivqid2mlmqssadijo45jdorevjsp-ryopz-3vwaaoapgkzpdubgzjahrtn8k1_b0ojguolltgnaflngkyco4c3yoyzqzdfsa-zd1awkiaan9jxsfdoy.v7kge-h1qgowdpqwuomlcaujjced9zefagizgxnhwdw&dib_tag=se&keywords=finding+meaning+david+kessler&qid=1715461120&sprefix=finding+meaning%2caps%2c177&sr=8-1 The Heroine’s Journey Workbook by Maureen Murdock – https://www.amazon.com/heroines-journey-workbook-every-womans/dp/1611808316/ref=sr_1_1?crid=xvwpyrkuxia6&dib=eyj2ijoimsj9.kjazea_n6tkojypzzgbavuctejbn0ntwwu6zzjtmii8twelqmvpokdo7hx3eq1ysk8eijeadhbxxznmle5n5ayqfwekgf2yrtz8q5gfuw3hzcb_pvyj4r5plkjgkclxixrngkfjiw9xaz2kqeyij7qvf2antvcdo6z8khpk3zemobgrius9svzfuj8g-xi7cezmzph9gwgqnromv1rocpdfj_ps6ybdyk4aqp_k66lu.ro5iflz0wo16mwbo-ou_2u8f9lnzo6ns9-ffpjtgbyw&dib_tag=se&keywords=heroine%27s+journey+workbook&qid=1715461230&sprefix=heroine%27s+journey+%2caps%2c153&sr=8-1 Have a question for us? Send it to mailto:questions@soulenchilada.com Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – https://www.laurabusse.com/ Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/ Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – http://www.christineruth.com/

SE 80: Heroine's Journey Part 8: Courage to Promote Myself

May 6, 2024 • Laura Busse and Christine Ruth

This Week’s Listener Question: At work, I’m the director of my department. I really like my job but I want a promotion, a new position of greater responsibility and authority. How can I find the courage to self-promote and apply for new positions? SOUL Group Questions: To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions. 1. How do you get sabotaged by your inner critic? What does is often say? 2. Can you think of a time when you waited for someone to rescue or validate you? Share your story. 3. When have you criticized a man in your life for something you needed to activate in your life? 4. Where do you need to self-promote? What holds you back? How can you take the next step of courage? 5. Stand in a warrior position (yoga or make up your own). How can your body claim more authority in your life? What would that look like? Soul Challenge: Christine and Laura are unpacking the Heroine’s Journey. What questions are arising for you? Please submit them at http://www.soulenchilada.com Resources: Your Body Language My Shape Who You Are – TED Talk by Amy Cudy – https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_may_shape_who_you_are?language=en The Confidence Gap – https://zengerfolkman.com/articles/the-confidence-gap-in-men-and-women-how-to-overcome-it/#:~:text=considering%20the%20confidence%20gap%2c%20gender,differ%20in%20quality%20or%20quantity. Have a question for us? Send it to mailto:questions@soulenchilada.com Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – https://www.laurabusse.com/ Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/ Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – http://www.christineruth.com/

SE 79: Heroine's Journey Part 7: Healing the Mother-Daughter Split

April 30, 2024

This Week’s Listener Question: How can I empower my adult children to turn to God and trust their relationship with Him without me (Mom) as constant intermediary? SOUL Group Questions: To build connection with a friend or in your Soul Group, ask each other these questions. 1. What is the nature of your “mother wound”? Was your mother more likely to be intrusive, controlling, rejecting, neglectful or somewhere in between? 2. How have your mother’s limitations played out in your life? 3. What would it look like to forgive your mother for her limitations? If you have forgiven her already, describe your journey. 4. When you think of your own limitations, what would it look like to forgive yourself? 5. If you are a mother, in what ways can you share with your childhood that they have everything they need within themselves to make decisions and /or move forward? Soul Challenge: Christine and Laura are unpacking the Heroine’s Journey. What questions are arising for you? Please submit them at http://www.soulenchilada.com Resources: The Heroine’s Journey: Woman’s Quest for Wholeness by Maureen Murdock https://www.amazon.com/heroines-journey-womans-quest-wholeness/dp/1611808308/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1vulj0q8rhav3&dib=eyj2ijoimsj9.0fh3uzbwgyflp7pt7csvyaeuni-0aozi0z8ezuztmoiwekh7gwizbpmmvq8j0jnzt4jsi0tr-fmxxm7knjam6tuppmxt82q_ouyjry3zofkk4jtmw6dfpnyc1bnqmeipe5jqp8vt9qzeeac8zdkibszuyen-tyujl8bfnrfsow4xh_y2-trymgxghcwp0u1mi-jqst-vdpa2ljxphcpuyy_t0luk5aoa9jpsky0v3no.pzyk5psnd_dtxoyq7d3io30kko287i6u_xix3rmgwlg&dib_tag=se&keywords=the+heroine%27s+journey&qid=1710950068&sprefix=the+heroin%2caps%2c451&sr=8-1 How to Raise an Adult: Break Free from the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julia Lythcott-Haims https://www.amazon.com/how-raise-adult-overparenting-prepare/dp/1250093635/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2rk4kqiqubmyh&dib=eyj2ijoimsj9.q-msp_rmq5cs1wjcltvwocawqgjatonchwiawq2mq0lku8ce5sxqxk-pzopohubmhx3z6apr-kvvoayqvc6zg1mur8cah_bq8zkdxe3olgrvajkddabsosewkrpghke2ao6tsezu7ogss3h8kxhxxkh2skxnznwrhpibwujlklmt1irkarfvdj_humalvsfqrrccg-c77lg1dcdetbijggsagvntkykmi-u_u9yx9y8.quav9gwau1r_ftztpvogzutiecjojtsj3zi0d9zanvg&dib_tag=se&keywords=how+to+raise+an+adult&qid=1714241290&sprefix=how+to+raise+an+adult%2caps%2c265&sr=8-1 Have a question for us? Send it to mailto:questions@soulenchilada.com Learn more about Laura Busse and invite her to speak where you are – https://www.laurabusse.com/ Learn more about Laura’s ministry The 3 O’Clock Wake Up Call – https://www.3oclockwakeup.com/ Learn more about Christine Ruth, counseling practice, and future retreats – http://www.christineruth.com/