Ask The Counselor
Common Questions. Biblical Answers.
How Do I Live in Freedom from Sexual Sin?
June 6, 2020 • Luke Imperato
You may have read Psalm 54:7 before: “For he has delivered me from every trouble, and my eye has looked in triumph on my enemies.” You might look at your life and wonder why this hasn’t happened. Our culture today has been nurtured on the instantaneous. Seemingly everything is “on demand” and many Christians carry this mindset over into their spiritual battles. But even God declared that victory wasn’t going to be instant and would, in fact, be detrimental if He did it that way! Before Joshua led God’s people over the Jordan and into enemy territory, the Lord gave the people His battle strategy. In Exodus 23:29-30, we read, “I will not drive them out before you in a single year, that the land may not become desolate and the beasts of the field become too numerous for you. I will drive them out before you little by little, until you become fruitful and take possession of the land.” The conquest of Canaan was designed by God to be fought over a long period of time and against many enemies. The physical enemies in Joshua’s day have been replaced by a many-headed beast known as “the flesh.” The physical battle ground of Canaan has been transferred to the realm of our heart. And we wield spiritual weapons, not physical. And this war is not over in a single day, as it states in Joshua 11:18, “Joshua waged war a long time with all these kings.” A key tactic to victory is not how fast we sprint into the fray, but how we walk. In this episode, Biblical Counselor Luke Imperato tells us how to biblically wage war through what Paul calls, “walking in the Spirit.” He describes what that looks like, our attitude as we go forward, and also gives us realistic goals in when victory will be achieved.
How Do I Respond if My Child is Viewing Pornography?
April 10, 2020 • Josh Bergstrom
No sincere Christian parent wants to discover that their child is viewing porn. Unfortunately, the ever-increasing sexualization of the youth is making this more of a reality. Navigating through this issue to a good resolution may seem daunting or even impossible. Do not fear! With God, all things are possible! Pure Life Ministries has seen the Lord’s transforming power for decades. Pornography cannot stand when the Lord is at the center of the fight. What would you say if we told you that this is a blessing in disguise? You’d probably say we're crazy. But laying aside your worries and having clear mindedness will help you see that God is granting you and your child a pivotal opportunity to learn some valuable and foundational aspects to living the Christian life as we confront the culture. In this episode of Ask the Counselor, Josh Bergstrom discusses how Christian parents can respond to this weighty matter using Biblical principles. You will be able to guide your child with confidence as you work your way through to the end knowing that the Lord is with you as you follow His design and purpose.
What’s the Difference Between Worldly Sorrow and Godly Sorrow?
March 5, 2020 • Ken Larkin
All people will experience sorrow when they give over to sin. This is especially true of sex addicts because of the stigma, shame and inevitable consequences attached to sexual sin. But the Bible tells us that there are two types of sorrow. A worldly sorrow which leads to death, and godly sorrow which leads to repentance and eternal life. How can a sex addict know which sorrow he is experiencing? There are a number of key things to consider when asking this question. We can see a clear line between the focus and driving motivation behind the two, and it is very important that all those who desire freedom from sexual addiction be able to discern the difference. In this installment of Ask the Counselor, Biblical Counselor Ken Larkin diligently walks us through the key differences between worldly sorrow and godly sorrow so that we might experience the genuine and life-changing sorrow of God.
Do I Really Need to Confess My Sexual Sin to My Wife?
Jeremiah Eakin
It is never easy for someone to make a difficult confession to the person they love. When a man is in sexual sin, the fear of what might happen is eminent in their mind. But what many husbands don't realize is that their lies are destroying the foundations of the marriage, making the collapse inevitable. In this episode, Jeremiah Eakin outlines the biblical foundations for marriage and shows us why confession of sin is so crucial for the man looking to move forward. He also reminds us of the truth that “Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” Proverbs 28:13
What's the Difference Between Temptation and Sin?
Jim Lewis
For those who are coming out of sexual sin it is very difficult to separate temptation from sin. When someone is living a life of rebellion against God, temptation and sin seem inseparable. So, is there really a difference between the two? Can someone be falling into temptation and still fight through to avoid sin? There are many examples in the bible of those who avoided temptation and never gave into sin. We are told that Jesus himself was tempted, yet he never sinned. For those who are seeking freedom from the bondage of sexual sin, this is a very important and very pertinent topic. In this episode, Jim Lewis leads us through the lives of a few biblical characters and points out the differences in both their responses to temptation and what, for some, lead them from temptation into sin.
Should I Marry Someone Addicted to Porn?
Josh Bergstrom
Marriage may seem like the very solution to a person’s struggle with pornography. But if that were true, why are so many marriages devastated by sexual addiction? What many people find is that while marriage may alleviate the temptations for a time, a deeper stronghold lurks within the persons heart. Pornography addiction is only the tip of a greater root issue. Fifty years ago, the idea of marrying someone addicted to porn would have been out of the question, especially for professing Christians. But sadly, in the days that we live in, it has become a concern for many women. In this episode, Josh Bergstrom tells us his own story. It began with the same hope of freedom and the devastating pain when he discovered that marriage was not the cure. But through the years, the Lord has opened his eyes to truths that have set him free and many others just like him.
How Can I be Saved and Still be in Sexual Sin?
Jim Lewis
Is it possible for a man who has truly been saved to still find himself battling with sexual sin? That question cannot be answered without first looking at what the Bible says about true salvation. The Apostle Paul himself wrote to professing Christians and admonished them to test themselves to see if they were truly in the faith. For those who struggle with sexual sin this is all the more vital. So how can a person know whether or not they are truly converted? In this session biblical counselor Jim Lewis takes us through scripture and points out for us what true and false conversion really look like and gives us the litmus test of the Word of God in which to examine our own hearts and lives.
How Can I be Saved and Still be in Sexual Sin?
Jim Lewis
Victory over the stronghold of sexual sin is possible and there are many testimonies of men who have found freedom from the hold that it had on their lives. But whether or not a person experiences true freedom is largely determined by whether or not they are sincere in their pursuit of freedom. Those who are sincerely seeking freedom and have the hope of salvation within them will never stop striving to get the victory for the sake of their relationship with God. Those who are insincere will only do enough to fool themselves and those around them. In this episode, biblical counselor Jim Lewis looks at some indicators of sincerity and insincerity to help a person determine whether or not they have had a genuine conversion experience.
How do I Fight for a Lust Free Mind?
Luke Imperato
Is it possible to experience longstanding victory over lustful thoughts? For many, the answer to this question has been a resounding “no.” Years and sometimes even decades of constant failure have taught us to believe that the holiness described in the Bible is reserved for so-called “spiritual giants.” We often imagine ourselves experiencing victory after reciting a prayer, memorizing scripture, or attending a special church service. While these are not sinful behaviors, the Bible clearly teaches it takes more to experience long-lasting victory. The Bible does not guarantee sinless perfection, but it does shed some light on this crucial issue and can lead us in our journey to experience the holiness of God in our own lives. Besides the promises of scripture, there are countless testimonies from other believers that Jesus can and will free us from our oppressive, lustful minds if we are willing to follow His commands. In this episode of "Ask the Counselor," Biblical Counselor Luke Imperato shares both spiritual and practical insights on fighting against lust and recounts some of his own powerful testimony about how God led him out of overwhelming and filthy thinking.
What Does God Think About Masturbation?
Ed Buch
Is masturbation sin? This question has sparked many heated debates. Since the Bible doesn’t answer the question directly, many people assume that God must be fine with it. But the Bible does offer guiding principles that help us to discern how to think about actions or attitudes that are not explicitly dealt with in its holy pages. In this episode of "Ask the Counselor," Pastor Ed Buch looks at some of the underlying beliefs and perspectives that fuel the practice of masturbation, and admonishes us to consider again what God must really think about masturbation.