Is My Husband's Addiction My Fault?

There is nothing more excruciating to a wife than to realize that her husband is addicted to pornography, or even worse—to sex with other people. And it is almost inevitable that she will believe that if she had been better somehow that this would never have happened. At some point she will ask herself, “What is wrong with me?”

When Kathy found out that her husband was addicted to other women, she asked herself the same question. It wasn’t until years later that she realized Steve’s addiction had nothing to do with her. In this video, Kathy Gallagher helps a hurting wife to understand just how powerful sex addiction is and helps her avoid the pitfalls that come from believing that her husband’s addiction is her fault.

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Bright Hopes for the Future

Kathy Irwin met Steve Gallagher at a friend’s house when she was 18. He was instantly interested in her, but she wasn’t so sure. However, after spending a thrilling weekend together in Santa Cruz, she moved in with him. Soon after this, Kathy began to be very disturbed about the way she was living. Having not been raised in church, she had no idea why she was so tormented with thoughts of hell and imminent death. God’s conviction was coming upon her heart, and He was drawing her into a relationship with Himself. A few months later, Kathy gave herself unreservedly to Jesus and was radically converted. Her life was instantly transformed and she began sharing Jesus with everyone she could, including her boyfriend, Steve. At the beginning of the following year, she married Steve and was looking forward to a wonderful marriage. But storm clouds were on the horizon, and she was about to enter into one of the darkest periods she could have ever imagined.

Painful Reality: A Cheating Husband

Like so many young women, Kathy Irwin entered into marriage with bright hopes for her future. But after exchanging vows with Steve Gallagher, things began to go downhill quickly. Her new husband was not the man she thought he was. Life with Steve was very difficult. He was angry, demanding and never satisfied—and she was beside herself trying to understand why she could never please him. After months of pain, confusion and questions, she found out one afternoon why things were so difficult in their marriage. Steve was addicted to pornography and was cheating on her with other women. In an instant, all of her dreams about happily-ever-after were crushed, and she awoke to the horrible reality of being married to a cheating husband.

God Restored My Marriage

Kathy Gallagher’s marriage was in shambles. Her husband Steve was addicted to pornography and was cheating on her with other women. Heartbroken, she desperately tried to get Steve to love her again. But things only grew worse. Eventually, she had enough and left Steve for another man. But God was pursuing her, and through a series of incredible circumstances, He made it very clear to her that if she wanted to follow Him, it meant returning to Steve and fighting for her marriage. Over the next couple of years, Kathy learned from Jesus what it meant to selflessly love a man who had been addicted to pornography.