What's My Role in Helping My Husband?

Pure Life Ministries

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What's My Role in Helping My Husband?

Part 1

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When a husband is battling his way out of sexual sin and is showing real signs of change and repentance, what can a wife do to help him to find complete victory?

Kathy Gallagher has devoted her life to helping wives navigate the difficult journey of having a husband in sexual sin. In part 1 of “How Can I Help My Husband?” Kathy looks at some of the internal difficulties a wife will face when she decides to take an active role in helping her husband. Many wives want to help their husbands by keeping them accountable, but the things they hear from their husbands are often so painful that many women run the risk of becoming controlled by their fear and pain.

Kathy shares about this period in her own marriage with Steve, and how she had to resist the temptation to become manipulative and controlling, which would only have hindered their relationship and made Steve’s journey even more difficult.

Bright Hopes for the Future

Kathy Irwin met Steve Gallagher at a friend’s house when she was 18. He was instantly interested in her, but she wasn’t so sure. However, after spending a thrilling weekend together in Santa Cruz, she moved in with him. Soon after this, Kathy began to be very disturbed about the way she was living. Having not been raised in church, she had no idea why she was so tormented with thoughts of hell and imminent death. God’s conviction was coming upon her heart, and He was drawing her into a relationship with Himself. A few months later, Kathy gave herself unreservedly to Jesus and was radically converted. Her life was instantly transformed and she began sharing Jesus with everyone she could, including her boyfriend, Steve. At the beginning of the following year, she married Steve and was looking forward to a wonderful marriage. But storm clouds were on the horizon, and she was about to enter into one of the darkest periods she could have ever imagined.

Painful Reality: A Cheating Husband

Like so many young women, Kathy Irwin entered into marriage with bright hopes for her future. But after exchanging vows with Steve Gallagher, things began to go downhill quickly. Her new husband was not the man she thought he was. Life with Steve was very difficult. He was angry, demanding and never satisfied—and she was beside herself trying to understand why she could never please him. After months of pain, confusion and questions, she found out one afternoon why things were so difficult in their marriage. Steve was addicted to pornography and was cheating on her with other women. In an instant, all of her dreams about happily-ever-after were crushed, and she awoke to the horrible reality of being married to a cheating husband.

God Restored My Marriage

Kathy Gallagher’s marriage was in shambles. Her husband Steve was addicted to pornography and was cheating on her with other women. Heartbroken, she desperately tried to get Steve to love her again. But things only grew worse. Eventually, she had enough and left Steve for another man. But God was pursuing her, and through a series of incredible circumstances, He made it very clear to her that if she wanted to follow Him, it meant returning to Steve and fighting for her marriage. Over the next couple of years, Kathy learned from Jesus what it meant to selflessly love a man who had been addicted to pornography.