The Danger of Occupational Thinking

and how we can overcome it

June 11, 2020 • Benham Brothers

* Occupational thinking may make you money, but Relational thinking gives you meaning! * This passage is for all the wives out there who get frustrated at their men for not understanding them. * Backstory - Jesus is with the disciples at the last supper (they didn’t know this was their last meal with Him). * Vs 21-25 - sets the stage. * Vs 26-27 - could His answer be more obvious than this? * Vs 28 - they didn’t get it. * They were just like so many other men who just don’t get it no matter how clear it is. * Why? * Vs 29 - They were thinking OCCUPATIONALLY. * They were thinking in terms of Judas’ job. * Men are often experts at work but bafoons in relationship. Why? * Because they’re thinking is stuck in the occupational zone. * Occupational thinking is concrete, logical, and involves fixing things. * Relational thinking is dynamic, emotional, and involves feeling things. * Occupational thinking is single-channeled. * Relational thinking is multi-channeled. * When a dude comes home from work he’s been in the occupational zone for most of the day - this helps him make money. * But if he wants meaning, then when he comes home he has to learn to switch from occupational to relational. * HOW? * ** Husbands: * 1) Be fully present. * Marina Abramovic - “The Artist is Present” at the Museum of Modern Art - 8 hours a day 6 days a week for 3 months. * 2) Listen beyond the words (Jesus - “beware the Leven of the Pharisees). * Listen for feelings, not facts. * Feelings are all about approval. * Facts are about fixing. * ** Wives: * 1) Preparation - In the same way you prepare a meal. * Your husband is great at relationship, but he needs training! * Men, open yourself up to this training. * Tori has spent 22 years training me! * 2) Patience - Jesus responded to His disciples with patience! * When you’re preparing a meal you don’t rush through it (Tori is Italian and would never dream of doing that!). * Think of your husband as you think of your son - he’s someone else’s son, so treat Him with patience. * Men, she’ll be patient if she knows you’re trying! * Ultimately the disciples got it, but it didn’t happen until the Holy Spirit came upon them months later. * Husbands - this is where it all starts - your relationship with God. * Then let God use your wife to train you! * Occupational thinking may make you money, but Relational thinking gives you meaning!

We Were Made For Relationship

A deep dive into why we were made for each other • January 4, 2018 • Benham Brothers

* God + Adam = not good. * God + Adam + Eve = good. * What was missing? Relationship! * This is why we have the ability to communicate - apart from others who are equal to us (human beings) we cannot relate as God relates in the Trinity. * In the beginning God created “adam” (awh-dahm), not the male but humankind. * “It is not good for “humankind” to be alone.” * vs 17-23 - “she was taken out of man.” * This is the “splitting of the adam,” so to speak. * Feminine was taken from masculine. * The two joined together creates the perfect picture of mankind made in God’s image. * vs 24 - this is why God wants men to “cleave” to their wife - to create the oneness required to give the full picture of God’s image. * Man alone is not God’s full image. Neither is woman alone. * It’s the man/woman bond that creates it. * This is why marriage is under attack today - Satan hates the image of God.

Relationships Thrive on Intimacy

God made us to know and be known • January 8, 2014 • Benham Brothers

3 ordinances of God existed before the fall: 1) Sabbath 2) Work 3) Marriage (this was for intimacy) Two foundational truths: Spiritual truths have physical manifestations & Satan tries to mess up what God sets up 1) God created us for intimacy (to be fully known and fully accepted) - it was a desire of His and not a need 2) The PURPOSE for intimacy was LIFE! As we're intimate with God LIFE is birthed 3) God created a physical manifestation of intimacy when He created woman & Satan wants to thwart this intimacy 4) He made the act of intimacy PLEASUREABLE so we would want to do it often 5) Pleasure overtook Purpose (Gen 6:2) - it's like pornography: it seeks pleasure but not purpose, and the result is a lack of intimacy with the woman God gave to you, but maintaining a ravenous apetite for the act of it 6) When a man and woman are intimate LIFE is seeded 7) Children are a physical manifestation of the LIFE that's seeded in us when God comes into us. Our kids are a perfect mix of two different people and are a product of the LOVE that each person has for the other. Trae is a mix of Jason and Tori and his life proves my love for Tori. Spiritually it's the same - the fruit we bear is a product of the love we have for God and is a mix of God and us. 8) Satan hates this life, so going after the seed. He will: 1) Try to stop the life from taking seed in the first place by convincing men that sex is for pleasure 2) Try to kill the life if it's already taken seed by convincing women that the life that's seeded in them isn't really life. 9) Killing the baby is getting rid of the consequence of seeking pleasure over purpose 10) When you don't have consequences then your behavior will never stop 11) Broken Intimacy (Gen 3:7) - they no longer wanted to be fully known Two issues always manifest themselves when a nation kicks God out: Sexual promiscuity & Child sacrifice (killing kids) So now we see sexual promiscuity and abortion at an all time highs - why? Because we have forsaken our purpose - INTIMACY with God! Satan hates our intimacy with God because he knows it produces LIFE, and he hates our intimacy with our spouses because it does the same - the physical union of a man and woman bringing forth physical life is simply a physical manifestation of what takes place spiritually with human beings and God - LIFE explodes! The devil can't stand that so he not only tries to destroy life itself but he also tries to destroy the very process that brings life into being (sexuality).

The Power of Presence

The secret of three powerful words • January 14, 2016 • Benham Brothers

• Three times times in this chapter Abe uses the phrase “Here I am.” • When God called to him to sacrifice his son, when his son called to him, and when God called to him again not to kill his son. • He was so attuned to God’s voice he could here Him and he was ready for what God would say. • He was also attuned to his sons’ voice. • Wherever Abe was he was “all there.” • I struggle with being “all there” with my kids often times. • If Abe wasn’t “all there” he would have mistaken God’s voice for the devils’. • The secret to the great leader is being a great follower. • Abe followed God and therefore he was equipped to lead his family.