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Proverbs 27:5 (9/16/21)

The Key to Relational Connection

September 16, 2021

* Vs 5 - Rebuking someone you love is the greatest sign of friendship. * If you can’t rebuke someone who’s out of line, it points to two things: * Either an insecurity in them that they can’t take the rebuke. * Or an insecurity in you that you can’t give a rebuke. * Both are a desire for approval laced with the fear of rejection. * But if you truly love someone you’ll say the hard thing. * Why? Because you want them to thrive in life - and you know that God’s blessings are found inside God’s boundaries. * Love is compassion with standards - you can’t have one without the other. * If you “conceal your love” (you’re not willing to say the hard thing) because you don’t want to hurt them, then you are actually hurting them worse. * Vs 6 - A true friend will “hurt” you but not “harm” you. * Hurt - temporary pain for permanent gain (getting cavity removed). * Harm - temporary gain for permanent pain (eating sugar). * TWIST - Love that is hidden (concealed) in this context is just as bad as in the context of not expressing the love that you feel. * The Message says, “A spoken reprimand is better than approval that’s never expressed.” * When you feel for someone but you don’t express it, it “disheartens” them. * Consider the Love Loop. * Expressing your love to someone (via gratitude or approval, etc) opens a relational loop (but it’s only half a loop). * The loop is completed by the persons’ response. * If they respond favorably, it closes the loop and creates connection. * If they don’t respond or they’re unfavorable, it keeps the loop open and disconnection is the result. * KEY - Unexpressed gratitude / approval is received as rejection. * So what do we do? * If you feel it, say it! * If you don’t feel it, repent and ask God why you don’t (concentration leads to captivation). * Start paying attention!