𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗠 𝗨𝗣

• What do you think the ideal marriage looks like? In what ways do you see this in your own marriage?

• When conflict arises in your marriage, what is your initial response?

• Recall instances when you have an argument with your spouse. Do you find that your initial goal is to win the argument or to find an agreement?

𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗗

𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘧𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘩. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘯𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘥. 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗜𝗦 𝟮:𝟮𝟰-𝟮𝟱

𝘕𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘓𝘖𝘙𝘋 𝘎𝘰𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦. 𝘏𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯, “𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘎𝘰𝘥 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘺, ‘𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘯’?” 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗜𝗦 𝟯:𝟭

(Read also 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗜𝗦 𝟯, 𝗝𝗢𝗛𝗡 𝟭𝟬:𝟭𝟬, and 𝗘𝗣𝗛𝗘𝗦𝗜𝗔𝗡𝗦 𝟱:𝟮𝟰–𝟮𝟱.)

Some of us may be familiar with wedding terminology, such as wedding bells, honeymoon, and the famous line that serves as the highlight of the ceremony: “You may now kiss the bride.” Lovers marry the love of their lives. A husband marries his dream girl, while a woman marries her knight in shining armor. Many love songs have been written about this sweet and beautiful love. The wedding seems to promise living happily ever after.

This is how it was in the beginning. Adam and Eve were 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘯𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘥. They enjoyed their union—spiritually, emotionally, relationally, and physically—and their relationship with God. Everything was seemingly perfect, until the serpent came along and deceived them. The woman sinned, followed by the man, who was with her. In this lesson, we will take a deeper look at how conflict in marriage began.

𝟭. 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗰𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗺𝘆.

𝘕𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘓𝘖𝘙𝘋 𝘎𝘰𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦. 𝘏𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯, “𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘎𝘰𝘥 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘺, ‘𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘯’?” 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗜𝗦 𝟯:𝟭

(Read also 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗜𝗦 𝟯:𝟮-𝟳.)

Satan wants to destroy God’s design for the world—including marriage and family. This enemy, the devil, is out to steal, kill, and destroy marriage (John 10:10) by throwing lies and accusations against you, your spouse, and God. “Did God actually say that?” “Did you and your spouse really hear from God?” These lies make us question the will of God and sow mistrust with one another. This is why conflict in marriage is inevitable. When you are in conflict with your spouse, have you considered the possibility of third-party involvement? Who should you allow to influence your mindset and attitude: the devil or the Holy Spirit?

𝟮. 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗰𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗙𝗮𝗹𝗹.

𝘛𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥, “𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘪𝘱𝘭𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨; 𝘪𝘯 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘯. 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶.” 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗜𝗦 𝟯:𝟭𝟲

(Read also 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗜𝗦 𝟯:𝟲-𝟭𝟯.)

After Adam and Eve sinned, their eyes were opened to evil and their disobedience, shame, and guilt. They hid from God, the one who brought them together, and tried to cover their shame and guilt. Instead of running to God for help, they ran away out of fear. When God found them, they blamed others. The man blamed the woman, and the woman blamed the serpent. Nobody wanted to take responsibility for their actions. When sin entered the world, so did conflict in relationships. In marriage, this is what God said it would look like: the desire of the woman will be contrary to her husband, but the husband will rule over her. Why do you think it is important to understand that conflict in marriage arises because of sin?

𝟯. 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗰𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗶𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗚𝗼𝗱.

𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘓𝘖𝘙𝘋 𝘎𝘰𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘈𝘥𝘢𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮. 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗜𝗦 𝟯:𝟮𝟭

God pronounced judgment on the man and the woman because of their sin (Genesis 3:14–19). But He also displayed His care for them by making garments from animal skin and clothing them. To cover their nakedness and shame, an innocent animal was sacrificed. This foreshadowed the way God would redeem all of mankind from sin—through the sacrificial death of the Lamb, Jesus Christ. His death reconciled us to the Father and to one another. In Him, wives are empowered to submit to their husbands and husbands are called to love their wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5:24–25). Remember that as husband and wife, you are united as one, and in covenant with God. Together, like a cord of three strands, you can triumph over any conflict, problem, or trials in this world by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. How does the restoration of our relationship with God affect our relationship with each other?

𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗟𝗜𝗖𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡

• What was new or stood out to you in this topic? In what ways were you challenged or encouraged?

• How can the truths we learned today help the way you and your spouse deal with conflicts or arguments? What wrong mindsets or attitudes will need to be changed in your life by God’s grace?

• In light of what we’ve learned, what practical steps can you take starting this week to help you and your spouse deal with conflicts?

𝗣𝗥𝗔𝗬𝗘𝗥

• Thank God for His grace for you, your spouse, and your marriage. Pray for a deeper appreciation of the love of God for you and your spouse, and for both of you to become more like Christ every day.

• Pray that you will be united, as allies and partners, not enemies, as you face any conflict or trials in your marriage. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you resolve any conflict.

• Pray for protection for one another and for your family. Know that greater is Jesus who is in you than he who is in the world.