I remember when we had our first child and the fear that rushed over me that I was now responsible for that little person. There was no manual that came out with her to help guide me through the process. Even if there was, as a man, I probably would not have read it. Yesterday I presented you with some pretty heavy statistics on our great need for true fathers. This can cause you to feel a heavy burden, or it can make you feel challenged with responsibility. I don’t think this has to be difficult, and so here are a few easy actions to help you focus on becoming a father that helps shift the current narrative.

1) Be present

Just because you are in the house does not mean you are present. To be present is to be alert to what is happening in the home. What are your kids doing? What kind of day did they have? Who are their friends? How are they doing in school? You should know these answers because you are in the middle of everything with your family

2) Family is a priority

Time will fly by with your children. You will blink and they will be out of the home. Don’t wait until it is too late to spend time with them. We can work so much that we forget what is important. While work is important to provide for your family it should never take the place of family.

3) Model who you want them to be

This is important because your children are just miniature versions of you. Have you ever heard your kid repeat something you said and you thought, “that sounded way worse coming out of their mouth than it did mine?” Your kids will get angry like you, speak like you, love like you, and act like you so make sure you are being the example they need.

When Woodrow Wilson was president of Princeton University, he spoke these words to a parents group:

“I get many letters from you parents about your children. You want to know why we people up here in Princeton cant make more out of them and do more for them. Let me tell you the reason we can’t. It may shock you a little, but I am not trying to be rude. The reason is that they are your sons, reared in your homes, the blood of your blood, bone of your bone They have absorbed the ideals of your homes. You have formed and fashioned them. They are your sons. In those malleable, moldable years of their lives, you have forever left your imprint upon them.”

4) Have fun

Life will happen and hard times will come. It is your responsibility that we not take life so seriously. I know this can be hard but again they will follow your lead. Help them understand that trials can help us with perspective and that we have a hope beyond current circumstances. Laugh with them. Tell them your ridiculous dad jokes. Let them see you smile.

5) Teach them to love God

Proverbs 22:6 “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” It is not the responsibility of the church to raise your children to love God. They will love God because you taught them to love Him. Show them His importance by taking them to church, worshipping with them, and praying over them every night.

6) Treat their mother with respect

Boys will learn how to treat women by watching you. Girls will learn how they are to be treated by watching how you treat their mom. Many of the successful relationships I know are because they saw it modeled from a young age by their parents.

7) Let love lead the way

This is probably the toughest of all. It seems like it would be easy but it requires true sacrifice to love right. Here is the list that Paul gives of what true love looks like. At the end of it, he makes a statement that I feel sums up fathering. He says, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” The only way to truly love the way Paul describes it is to grow up and be a man. 1 Cor 13:4-8, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.”

Challenge:

Pick two of these items this week to focus on. Ask God to help you become the father that He needs you to be.