Dear Anxiety

Xeah

dear anxiety, I will rise. there is no hell you can give me that I will not make a heaven. through panic you showed me, every worry is a missed opportunity for prayer. my will hovers over my body, formless and void the darkness that now covers the waters will not forever soon I will say, let there be and my cells will leap inside my blood like fish inside my brain. I use language the oldest science, before universes, to breathe a new earth here it waits in my mouth to be released will I make life or death today? If my mind can invent illness it can summon health if I can induce a headache with a thought I can erase it with another if my imagination can ruminate disease to flesh than it can raise the dead I am anointed to create reality. I will rebuild my body like a city cell by cell, wall by wall, I will partner with holy, quantum energy to make the only home that truly belongs to me, an impenetrable fortress. dear anxiety, do you see this scepter in my chest? my heart in its ribbed temple? the sanctuary you poisoned with idols — bitterness, slander, gossip, greed? well I have pulled these weeds and planted fresh flowers. watch, as they bloom my esophagus my mind is getting stronger my days are getting better I am healed, I am loved, I am blessed — and this is not cognitive dissonance it is my righteous, creative power. if my tongue was loosened by angelic forces to speak languages of heaven why not my lungs to expand? my stomach to digest? my back to relax? dear anxiety, you give me xanax — a crutch, not a cure, but when my legs heal — and they will — I will run faster than before. right now, I limp and lean on medicine, but I dream in bright olympian. dear anxiety, you will not sedate me for long what a pitiful settling for gabba when it’s glory I want I do not need to be put asleep I need to be set on fire with the power of God dear anxiety, thank you — for smoking my chest and suffocating my breath thank you, in advance, for your service for as sure as fire brings forth gold soon, I will be screaming my original color.