dear anxiety,
I
will
rise.
there is no hell you can give me
that I will not make a heaven.
through panic you showed me,
every
worry
is a missed opportunity
for prayer.
my will hovers over my body,
formless and void
the darkness that now covers
the waters
will not forever
soon I will say,
let
there
be
and my cells will leap inside my blood
like fish inside my brain.
I use language
the oldest science, before universes,
to breathe a new earth
here it waits in my mouth to be released
will I make life or death today?
If my mind can invent illness
it can summon health
if I can induce a headache with a thought
I can erase it with another
if my imagination can ruminate
disease to flesh
than it can raise the dead
I
am anointed
to create
reality.
I will rebuild my body
like a city
cell by cell, wall by wall,
I will partner with holy,
quantum energy
to make the only home
that truly belongs to me,
an impenetrable fortress.
dear anxiety,
do you see this scepter in my chest?
my heart in its ribbed temple?
the sanctuary you
poisoned with idols —
bitterness, slander, gossip, greed?
well I have pulled these weeds
and planted fresh flowers.
watch,
as they bloom my esophagus
my mind is getting stronger
my days are getting better
I am healed, I am loved, I am blessed —
and this
is not cognitive dissonance
it is my righteous, creative power.
if my tongue
was loosened by angelic forces
to speak languages of heaven
why not my lungs to expand?
my stomach to digest?
my back to relax?
dear anxiety,
you give me xanax — a crutch, not a cure,
but when my legs heal — and they will —
I will run faster than before.
right now, I limp and lean
on medicine, but I dream
in bright olympian.
dear anxiety,
you will not sedate me for long
what a pitiful settling for gabba
when it’s glory I want
I do not need to be put asleep
I need to be set on fire
with the power of God
dear anxiety,
thank you —
for smoking my chest
and suffocating my breath
thank you, in advance,
for your service
for as sure as fire
brings forth gold
soon, I will be screaming
my original color.
