Love Will Defeat the Power of Lust in Your Life

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Love Will Defeat the Power of Lust in Your Life

February 29, 2024

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Who would have thought that getting into the needs of others would help a person overcome their sexual sin issue? In this interview, Ed Buch & Jordan Yoshimine open up about how the root of their sin problem was a life of selfishness and how the mercy of the Lord broke through that selfishness and broke the power of lust in their lives. (from Episode #559 - Mercy Destroys the Spirit of Lust | Key Lessons on the Road to Freedom)

Nate: Alright. So, it's time for another episode in our series, "Key Lessons on the Road to Freedom." Today's key lesson is learning to meet the needs of other people. And the point of this lesson is that our lives should be at some level devoted to meeting the needs of other people.

First off, let me just ask you guys both very simply, why is the "mercy life" a key lesson that we have to learn as we're walking toward freedom?

Ed: Well, the journey down that road to freedom requires us to deal with the roots of sexual sin. And at the root of sexual sin, there's a major preoccupation with self. That's just the way it is. Living with self at the center, serving self, taking for self and doing what feels good to self is all hand in hand with the sexual sin issue. So, in biblical counseling, we deal with any issue really with a three-pronged approach. It includes putting off the sin, renewing the mind and then putting on the new man. So, obviously with sexual sin, the put off is pretty obvious. Stop acting out the behaviors that are violating the Word of God with your sexuality. Renewing the mind happens through Scripture. The put on in this case comes through meeting the needs of others and investing into the needs of others. And if you never get to the putting on in this area, you won't really be able to sustain lasting victory over your sexual sin.

Jordan: Yeah. I had noted for this discussion pretty much the same concept. Put off, renew the mind and put on. But I also would add in Philippians 2:3, which says, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3, NASB 1995). So we need to put off selfishness. We shouldn't be doing anything that feeds our self-lives, and we should actually be putting on getting into the needs of others. Then we should be doing what Colossians 3:12-14 says, which is to put on love and we should bear one another and forgive one another. So, I think that's an important aspect to remember. When you are battling against selfishness, you need to put on mercy and getting into the needs of others and put on love which is the bond of perfection.

Nate: So, what you guys are saying is that the mercy life, or getting into the needs of others, or giving or serving actually is the thing that's chopping out the root that the sin is flowing out of.

Ed: That's right.

Nate: So, it's not just a matter of needing to put a filter on my phone or I need to have all these boundaries in place. Those things can help. But if you chop out the root, then you're really doing what is needed.

Ed: That's right. You're really getting at the heart issue of all of it and that's what you really want to do and need to do.

Nate: Yeah. And sexual addiction is actually a pretty hot topic these days. People are talking about it a lot. And a lot of people are trying to offer help, so inevitably they're going to start asking questions like, “What are the root issues?” And, “What is really going on that is giving way or giving rise to these addictive behaviors?” And I wonder how many places or people would bluntly just say that the root issue is selfishness in a person.

Ed: I don't think you’d hear that very often.

Nate: Yeah. When did the lights come on for you guys where you were like, “Oh my goodness, the reason I'm doing all this stuff is because I just love myself.”?

Jordan: I've shared my testimony before and it’s on our website, but there came a point in the program where my counselor asked what my biggest idol was. In that moment I couldn't come up with an answer that wasn’t surfacy. I said that my biggest idol may be my car or hockey, but after I walked out of the counseling office a light bulb went off in my head and I thought, “Wow, it's me. I'm the problem.” It was like the veil was torn back and I was able to see the reality of my condition. I was able to see the devastation that my sin had caused. It was very difficult to see all that, but it was necessary.

Ed: Yeah, I honestly did not see myself as the problem before coming to Pure Life. So, when I came to the Residential Program, what really opened my eyes was reading through the book, "At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry." I think Chapter 6 in that book deals with the root cause of sexual sin, and I remember that section of the book pretty vividly because that's where Pastor Steve talks about how you need to quit blaming other things. He talks about how we can't blame our past. We can't blame the fact that we were sexually abused or any of those other sorts of circumstances or issues of our upbringing. On top of that, he talks about how we need to quit blaming other people. So, through that I saw that it wasn’t my parents’ fault and it wasn’t my wife's fault either. And as I eliminated all of the people and things that I was focused on and looking at as the problem, the only real problem left was me in the end.

At that point I was left sitting there thinking, “Wow, OK. It really is me. I'm the problem.” And after that realization it is good for a man to couple that with some good solid teaching from the Bible about needing to be a giver instead of a taker and how he needs to deny himself instead of indulging himself. It is important for us to see that we need to put others ahead of ourselves. It’s also important to be receiving clear biblical teaching on those themes and then look at how we can't blame anything or anyone else. And that should lead a man to say, I'm the problem and I'm not doing things right at all.

Nate: Okay, so then you guys both came to a place of genuine repentance over your selfishness and self-centeredness. And then you had to learn a totally different lifestyle. What helped you learn to live the mercy life?

Ed: As I think about it, I would say it started with good teaching. There was some really good teaching that was assigned to me to read during my program. I was really impacted by another one of Pastor Steve's books called "Living in Victory: Through the Power of Mercy." There was also the Mercy Studies class that we would have and still do have every Sunday evening during the program that uses the book, "What the Bible Teaches About Mercy" by Rex Andrews. And probably outside of Pure Life not many people have ever heard of that book, but there is solid teaching in there about getting into the needs of others and really making that a focus and a priority of the Christian life.

But I really think I learned a lot more about living the mercy life toward others by seeing other people do it. That's one of the blessings as you're in the Residential Program. You have these staff members who are a little further along in their journey of freedom from sexual sin and you see how merciful they can be toward you as a student. There were staff members who would show mercy toward myself and others and there were even some odd examples of it that would really capture my attention. There is one that is a long story, so I won't tell the whole thing, but there was one staff member who had a reputation of being kind of gruff. And I was kidding with him one day about giving me some Oreo cookies. When I got back to my room the next day after being at my job, there was a bag of Oreo cookies on my bed and it was just a simple sort of gesture, but it told me that these people are really investing in others and laying down their lives for others.

On top of that, probably nothing taught me more about living the mercy life than having to deal with difficult people. I was in this program with 70 men who were all at least as selfish as I was. And when you are in that situation something's got to give. You're either going to kill each other or you're going to learn something about putting others ahead of yourself and meeting the needs of others. You are going to learn to yield your rights away and put others higher than yourself.

Jordan: Yeah, I didn't even think of this when you mentioned it but "Living in Victory" was my favorite Steve Gallagher book in the program. And it was because in the last half of the book it talks about living out the mercy life and that was a completely new concept for me. It was foreign to me that I needed to consider others needs above my own and that that was part of the Christian life.

Ed: It took it from being just a mental idea of esteeming others better and it brought into light the need to actually put others ahead of myself by serving them and by doing something to practically invest into the lives of others.

Jordan: Yeah. And sometimes people can believe they are living the mercy life but they don't recognize that they have mixed motives. They may be doing things for others, but there is some benefit to them for doing their good deeds to others. But the book "Living in Victory" taught so well that mercy is doing something for others and considering their needs above your own without expecting anything in return.

So when I was in the Residential Program, the thing that really impacted me was learning how to pray and becoming an intercessor. That was really transformational for me. I don't know if it's in that Rex Andrews book or where I heard it, but I heard someone say that 95% of mercy is in prayer. And so, it was emphasized in the program that we needed to spend time in prayer, but also you need to be praying for the needs of others.

When it came to doing mercy through prayer, I got practical applications all the time. When I would complain about other students in the program, my counselor would ask me, “Are you praying for them?” And when he said that I thought to myself, “wow, that's something I can do.” And you can’t imagine the power that prayer has. The person you're praying for may not even change, but your perspective changes and your heart changes through prayer. You begin to see them through God's eyes and you really get into a flow of mercy toward them. Also, when you pray for someone, love wells up in you for that person and genuine concern. So, prayer and intercession for me are pillars when it comes to living the mercy life.

Nate: Yeah. So, if anybody's pretty honest and self-aware, they're going to say, “Wow, this is not natural for me to do.” Because it's not. It's not natural to live a life that is intentionally putting the needs of others above your own needs. And so, it can be taxing. It involves a lot of sacrifice. It can be tiring. It can be disappointing. When you get used by other people or the people that you've poured into just don't do well, it can be very discouraging at times. What keeps you guys going with that kind of focus? Where you can say to yourself, “I'm doing this no matter how difficult it is.”

Jordan: Gratitude. I tell a lot of the guys I counsel how vital it is to be living at the foot of the Cross, keeping your eyes on Calvary and remaining thankful for what Jesus did for you. When I look at Christ and His mercy, what rises up in me is, “Wow Jesus! You did all of this for me?” And of course, that causes gratitude to just well up inside me. So, when I'm discouraged or I have a counselee that's tough or one that's not responding, I always go back to who Jesus is to me and what He did for me. When I do that, gratitude fills my heart. And then out of that well of gratitude mercy just pours out towards others.

When I look at the Cross, what do I have to complain about? What do I have to be discouraged about? The Lord experienced every grief I have known. He is so merciful. He is so lowly. He is so humble. And because of that I choose to be grateful. Yes, I'm going to face trials in this life, but gratitude is what drives the bus for me in this life. If I can stay in an attitude of gratitude, then things are going to go well because my focus is on Jesus.

Ed: Yeah, and I would agree with that. Gratitude always tends to take me back to the Lord because when I don't know what else to give thanks for, the four things I was taught is to give thanks for are Jesus, the blood, the Word of God and the Holy Spirit. And usually that's how I'll start my gratitude portion of my prayer time with going through those four things and just talking to the Lord. Then throughout the day, when I want to change the atmosphere of my inside world, I just start thanking the Lord. And if I can’t think of anything new, I can always go back to those four things and end up with my focus on the Lord. And when your focus is on the Lord, it's not going to be on self or serving self.

Timeless Truths: God Must Be First in Our Hearts and Lives

April 25, 2024

When we allow something to become more important to us than the Lord, it has become an idol. In this "Timeless Truths" segment from our archives, Jeff & Rose Colón talk to couples about making sure that the Lord is first in their hearts and lives. Host: Jeff and Rose Colón have joined us in the studio. It's good to see you again. Jeff & Rose: Good to see you. Host: Thank you for coming in and talking with us. We want to talk today about spousal idolatry. We use the term idolatry a lot in our everyday topics here at Pure Life. Could you kind of give our listeners an idea of what idolatry truly is? Jeff: Well, I've heard it said like this: An idol is something that we consistently make equal to or more important than God in our attention and desire. Maybe we just talk about it all the time. Or we're very devoted to it. Or we make choices that revolve around it. It's just something in our lives that has become more important to us than God. Host: So, it could be anything. It doesn't necessarily have to be something bad. Jeff: No. Absolutely. Host: So, how does someone know if he or she has made their spouse an idol in their heart? Jeff: Well, there's some telltale signs that people can see if they look inside themselves. They can ask themselves, “What is it that I really adore? What is it that I really put my hope in? What is it that I really look forward to? What is it that I really make sacrifices for in my life? What is the most prevalent topic that I tend to talk about? What do I look for my peace in? Where do I look for my meaning and my happiness? Am I looking to my spouse to make me happy? There are a lot of telltale signs that will show us if something is really an idol in our hearts. Host: Rose, when you're looking at the wife in a marriage, what are some of the ways as a counselor that you might see how a wife has made an idol of her husband? Rose: One of the ways that I've seen this manifest is when a wife is being consumed with her husband as far as what he's doing and what he's not doing. She is looking to see if he's spending time with the Lord or if he's not spending time with the Lord. She constantly wants to know if he's pressing into God the way he's supposed to be pressing into Him. Ultimately the focus for this wife is just the husband. She's made the husband out bigger than God is and because of that God is very small in her world. She's just consumed with her husband. An example I can give from my own life is when my husband was in his sin. I was consumed with how he was doing and what he was doing. I was consumed all day wondering if he was going to be acting out and because of that I wasn't focused on my own walk with the Lord or even my own responsibilities. So, what I've seen in my personal life and in counseling women is that when the husband becomes an all-consuming object, then it starts affecting a wife’s relationship with the Lord. But then too it affects how she acts and responds toward her husband. Host: So, you're not saying that a wife shouldn't care about her husband and that she should never think about her husband. It's really a matter of balance. Rose: Right. It is a matter of balance because it's okay to wonder how my husband is doing. But to be wondering how he is doing 24/7 to the point where you’re anxious and worried inside your heart, that's where you are crossing a line because you’re not trusting the Lord with your husband. Host: Jeff, when a husband or a wife has made an idol of their spouse, how do they begin to deal with that? If they've recognized it, then what are the steps they need to take to deal with it? Jeff: Well, first of all, they need to understand that from the Word of God,we're told that God will have no other gods before Him. He's a jealous God. He longs for the attention that we give to other things, because He desires to have a relationship with us and He wants us all to Himself. That should be our desire as well because He is what we ultimately need. He created us to have fellowship with Him and to be satisfied by Him and He knows that when we look to other things then we're not going to be fulfilled. He ultimately just wants to bless us and give us what we ultimately need. So, He encourages us in His Word to turn away from worthless things, to turn away from things that won't satisfy and to seek Him diligently and to make Him the all engrossing object of our lives. He doesn’t have a vain desire for us to fall at His feet, selfishly needing that worship. It’s because we were created by Him and for Him. We were created to have fellowship with Him and He wants that fellowship with us. So, it displeases Him when we look to other things. So, a husband or wife needs to understand that when they are idolizing their spouse, they are giving an amount of attention to someone else that only God should be receiving from them. And if the Lord is not first in their lives, then they're not going to be able to fulfill His purpose and plan for their lives. Host: Well, is it too strong of a statement to say that if this is the reality that a person is living in then they're in sin and they need to repent? Jeff: Absolutely. Because sin is missing the mark. And if God is not who we are focusing on then we're missing the mark. One of the main aspects of sin is going around God to get what we want. So, God must be at the center of the marriage. And if both spouses don't have Him as their first source or their first object of desire, they are going to be off track and they are not going to be in the will of God. Rose: Also, in 1 John, John tells us to keep ourselves from idols. And when you read that command in light of marriage you will see that there's something that you need to do to make sure that you are not allowing your spouse to become an idol in your heart. We need to always be checking our hearts to make sure that God is bigger than our spouse. He's able to keep our spouses. He's able to watch over our spouses. I don't have to be worrying 24/7 about what my husband is doing because our God is bigger than that. When we start worrying and fretting that just reveals that something is not right in our heart and it's usually the tendency of making our spouse an idol. Host: What are some of the practical things that either a couple can do together or the spouse can do in their own walk to overcome spousal idolatry? Jeff: Well, I know for myself that if I have something in my life that is taking my attention away from where it needs to be, I need to start making choices to get my focus where it needs to be. The Bible commands us to set our minds on the things above and not the things of the earth. And we just need to rein in our thoughts and our feelings, and we need to start going to the throne of grace which is where we'll get what we need. We need to start getting in the Word of God. We need to start seeking God more on a daily basis. The more time we start spending with God and the more time we start choosing to make Him the first thing that we're pursuing, He's going to automatically balance things out and then we're going to start seeing things right. And we're going to start to see our spouse in the right perspective. What spouses don't realize is that when God is first and when you're in a right relationship with Him, you're going to be able to fulfill your role as a husband or a wife the way God designed you to because things are going to be in their proper order. Host: Rose, how often have you seen in counseling where the spouse who has been in idolatry begins to let go of their idolatry and then a lot of issues and problems that were coming up in the marriage kind of begin to take care of themselves. Rose: Yeah. Those problems do begin to fall by the wayside because the focus is off the other spouse and they're focusing more on the Lord and what the Lord wants to be to them and that they were created for Him first and for His purposes. So, the focus really gets off of self or their spouse and it starts to get more on the Lord. And as that happens, you become freer, and you have more peace inside and you're able to be a blessing. Instead of looking to get something from the other person, you're just looking to give and be a blessing to them.

Timeless Truths: A Changed Heart will Bear Obvious Fruit

April 18, 2024

In this "Timeless Truths" segment from our archives, counselor Judy Lucas gives some guidance to a woman who wants to know if her fiancé has truly repented of sexual sin. Host: Judy, we want to tackle a question here from a woman that is considering marrying a man. He has confided in her letting her know that he spent five years addicted to pornography, but he does not currently have any desire to go back to sexual sin. He apparently has had some period of freedom. He did acknowledge to her that he only struggles with images when he brings them up in his mind. She wants to marry him, but she doesn't want to marry someone involved in pornography. How should she be looking at the situation? Judy: Well, one thing I would definitely tell her is that it’s a really good thing that she can thank the Lord for that he is willing to be honest and walk in the light about his past involvement in sexual sin and that he is honest about his current struggles. There are too many men on the other side of the fence where they are hiding and lying. So, it is a very good thing that he is willing to tell on himself. Another question that we hear all the time from women who are either dating or married to guys that have a past of viewing pornography is, “How do I know that he's not going to do this again?” And the honest truth is that it is hard to know. I can't give them full assurance that the man will never go back to his sin. There are many things we don't know about this relationship. How long have they been seeing each other? How long has she known him? What's been his track record? One thing I do want to encourage any woman to do when dating is to not be in a hurry to get married. Instead, she should begin to pay attention to his lifestyle a bit. What is some of the fruit he displays in his life? What do his daily activities look like? Does he seem to have a strong relationship with the Lord? Is he in the word? Is he in prayer? Does he spend time at church? Is he serving others in a selfless manner? Or is he in to things that would raise up red flags? I would even ask her about what her relationship with this guy looks like. Are they walking in purity, or is he making suggestions to cross lines into sexual intimacy? There are a lot of things to process and think about. The main thing she should be doing is praying and seeking the Lord for direction. She should maybe even be talking with her pastor to get some wise counsel along the way too. Host: We do need to add as an encouragement that God can keep a man that is truly repentant and who’s desire truly is to not to go back to his sin safe in His hand. Judy: Yes, He can. There's a lot of wonderful Scripture that talks about how the Lord will keep you. He gives us the Holy Spirit to bring the conviction that keeps us on the narrow way. The other thing is that when a guy looks at pornography, those images are imprinted in his brain and it's a continual battle for that man. So, I'm sure that the enemy does come to bring those images back to mind. But also, there is the reality of the power of God to transform the human mind. That transforming power comes slowly over time as he spends time in the Word. The Holy Spirit begins to renew the mind and wash out those images. He begins to replace those images with who God is and the things of God. It's like the washing out of the old junk and bringing something brand new and beautiful to think about. One last thing I would encourage this woman to do as she's thinking about marriage is to make sure her relationship with God is where it needs to be. She needs to make sure that God is her first love. He needs to be her heavenly husband. Her walk with God should be strong. It is also crucial that they are both walking with the Lord and making Him the first priority in their lives. Host: Yes. And that's so important particularly when looking at a suitor who has a background of sexual sin. Our prayer of course is that they will continue to walk in victory. But if something happens where he falls into sin or the enemy sets a trap that he steps into, a woman is going to need a solid relationship with the Lord to be able to respond to that appropriately in the marriage or the dating relationship. Judy: Absolutely. And again, that's why it's so important for him not to just be honest with her but to have another godly man in his life that can come alongside him and help him walk through his struggles with temptation. We always tell women that they are not to be the main accountability person for their spouse or someone they are dating. So, it is important for him to have a godly male figure that he can be open and honest with. Host: Yeah. Well, as a guy, I'll just second that and say we need that. So, I appreciate you underscoring the need for accountability as well. Thanks so much for your counsel on this issue. Judy: Thank you. It was great to be here.

Timeless Truths: There is Nothing More Christ-like Than Forgiveness

April 4, 2024

In this "Timeless Truths" segment from our archives, Kathy Gallagher talks about the beauty of forgiveness and mercy, and shows hurting wives how to be in that spirit toward their husbands. Host: Kathy, I know that you were thrilled to get this letter from Yolanda. She wants some information and help on how she can live the mercy life. Her problem is, how do you live the mercy life in a marriage where you've been hurt by your husband? Kathy: Yeah. First of all, Mike, I'd like to try and describe what the mercy life is as we know it here at Pure Life Ministries. The Mercy Life is a life where we put the needs of others above our own. It's a Biblical life. The Mercy life is a life where you are meeting the needs of other people. It’s a life where you see a need and you fill it and that can be applied in any situation in life. You could do some small thing to meet a need for someone that's struggling in your workplace. You can do an act of kindness for a neighbor. There's an endless list of ways that you can just simply meet a need. And because you love Jesus and because He lives in you, naturally you do kindnesses to other people. So, now let me paint how this mercy life can be lived out in a marriage where the husband is living in sexual sin. A lot of women are afraid to be too kind because understandably, they have their guard up. But I just want to encourage wives that living the mercy life toward your husband is the only way to live your life in a way that's pleasing to God. Host: Well, basically what you're saying Kathy is the mercy life is what Christianity is really supposed to be about. But you're not talking about just people doing good things for other people. There's nothing wrong with that, but it has to be motivated by something. What is it in us that produces the mercy life as we mature as Christians? Kathy: As time goes on, the love of Jesus takes over in us and we begin to see the needs around us and we want to meet those needs. I'll never forget a lady I met up in Vermont. She was an elderly woman and she was just such a tremendous blessing to me. And I don't even know why she said this to me, but she walked up to me and she wrapped her arms around me and she said, “The most God-like characteristic there is, is forgiveness.” That was many years ago and it really affected me. When she said it, I was trying to process through why she was saying that to me. And over the years it has become so real to me what she was saying. It was Jesus Himself speaking to me through her that forgiveness, mercy and love are the characteristics that are manifested in the life of a believer that shows we really belong to Jesus. You know you've been born from above when you love the brethren and mercy is flowing out of your life. As we mature as Christians, that's what comes out of us more and more. Host: I know as you're saying that women are going to be thinking to themselves, “Okay. So, I have to go be merciful and I have to generate forgiveness in my heart.” But we can't do that on our own. We have to have a revelation of something for that to take place. Kathy: Right. And I think that revelation comes when we come to terms with the mercy that's been given to us. When we understand and we really grasp the goodness of God toward us then it becomes much easier to forgive those who have offended us. But if it's not real to you in your spirit, how much debt has been forgiven you then it becomes very difficult to forgive the debt of another, even if it is your husband. Now, I understand it as well as any woman listening how much it hurts to be devastated by your husband's unfaithfulness and yet I know, and I knew at the time, what a sinner I was and how much God had forgiven me. So, with that knowledge, how could I not forgive Steve? And that revelation and resolve came to me from God. That didn’t come from Kathy Gallagher. It's not in me to be that way. And I think that it is a very big part of the process for a lot of women to really examine themselves when they get in a self-righteous spirit, and they don't want to forgive and they want to hold their husband's sin against them. What they need to do is just remember the debt that has been forgiven for themselves. Their husband's sin is not worse than their own. It's not that God forgave her a little bit and God needs to forgive him a whole bunch. We are all on equal footing. Host: And whether it's a spouse or someone else who sins against us, we have to recognize our own sinfulness. That is the beginning of living the mercy life. Are there some practical ways that a wife can help her husband in a situation like this. What are the needs of her husband who may be struggling with sexual sin? Kathy: Well, there's a lot of things a woman can do. Number one is that without becoming overbearing and demanding, she needs to come up with ways to come alongside her husband. For instance, she should offer for them to pray together. This should be the husband's role, but we have to deal with reality and a lot of guys that are struggling with sexual sin aren't even trying to facilitate times of prayer. So, she can offer to pray with him or they can study the word together, but he needs his wife to support him as he struggles through. That doesn't mean that you're putting your seal of approval on his sin, but you're there for him and you're believing with him and you're going to just throw yourself into this marriage as best you can while he works his way through it. And this is only possible if he's in a repentant spirit and has a repentant heart. A lot of men that women are married to are not in a repentant state of heart. So, everybody's got their own set of circumstances that they have to navigate through. And if he's not repentant, she can't be his cheerleader. So, I'm speaking to women whose husbands are really trying to work through the repentance process. She can really offer herself and be supportive. She can be not afraid to give of herself to her husband. He needs that. Host: Well, I'm glad you made that point because mercy does not always take the same form. Sometimes mercy requires that we rebuke someone. Kathy: Yea, mercy can be very severe at times. And there were many times when I had to pull the plug on Steve so to speak. I'll just mention here one of those times. I did not know that it was the Lord directing me at the time, but I kept sensing that I needed to separate myself from Steve. And that seemed like the weirdest thing to me because he was doing so well in my mind. Well, eventually I did and sure enough, I found out that the whole time I thought he was doing great, he was doing terrible. So, when I did the hard thing, which was to separate myself from him, it ended up really being the merciful thing. And that was the thing that turned it around for Steve. Then there are times when a woman will just have to put her foot down. But again, I always feel like I have to balance everything I say with, “you've got to be in the right spirit,” because we can operate in the flesh. It's too easy to be in the flesh and think what we're doing is mercy when it's really just your flesh causing you to be controlling. Mercy is love in action. It meets the need of another person no matter what the need is and it always costs you something. Whether emotionally, spiritually or physically. When you love someone else, you're giving of yourself. You don't do mercy to get something. Mercy is freely given. Host: And of course, the greatest example we have of mercy was Jesus. And what he did for us. Kathy: Amen.