What's My Role in Helping My Husband?

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What's My Role in Helping My Husband?

Part 2

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When a wife determines to help her husband find victory from sexual sin, she must be prepared to hear some very difficult, personal, and painful things. How can she provide the support and encouragement her husband needs without becoming controlled by the pain of these confessions? How can she wholeheartedly support without being demanding?

Kathy has given her life to helping women navigate these kinds of issues, because she was once in these same situations. In this video, she talks about some of the mistakes she made early on as she tried to help her husband Steve.

But God was working on her as well. As the Holy Spirit showed Kathy her own sinfulness and need for a savior, God enabled her to relate to Steve in an entirely new way. As a result, she and Steve were able to experience deeper fellowship in all areas of their lives through repentance, humility, and Kathy’s willingness to hear painful things. This was exactly the kind of support that Steve needed.

Bright Hopes for the Future

Kathy Irwin met Steve Gallagher at a friend’s house when she was 18. He was instantly interested in her, but she wasn’t so sure. However, after spending a thrilling weekend together in Santa Cruz, she moved in with him. Soon after this, Kathy began to be very disturbed about the way she was living. Having not been raised in church, she had no idea why she was so tormented with thoughts of hell and imminent death. God’s conviction was coming upon her heart, and He was drawing her into a relationship with Himself. A few months later, Kathy gave herself unreservedly to Jesus and was radically converted. Her life was instantly transformed and she began sharing Jesus with everyone she could, including her boyfriend, Steve. At the beginning of the following year, she married Steve and was looking forward to a wonderful marriage. But storm clouds were on the horizon, and she was about to enter into one of the darkest periods she could have ever imagined.

Painful Reality: A Cheating Husband

Like so many young women, Kathy Irwin entered into marriage with bright hopes for her future. But after exchanging vows with Steve Gallagher, things began to go downhill quickly. Her new husband was not the man she thought he was. Life with Steve was very difficult. He was angry, demanding and never satisfied—and she was beside herself trying to understand why she could never please him. After months of pain, confusion and questions, she found out one afternoon why things were so difficult in their marriage. Steve was addicted to pornography and was cheating on her with other women. In an instant, all of her dreams about happily-ever-after were crushed, and she awoke to the horrible reality of being married to a cheating husband.

God Restored My Marriage

Kathy Gallagher’s marriage was in shambles. Her husband Steve was addicted to pornography and was cheating on her with other women. Heartbroken, she desperately tried to get Steve to love her again. But things only grew worse. Eventually, she had enough and left Steve for another man. But God was pursuing her, and through a series of incredible circumstances, He made it very clear to her that if she wanted to follow Him, it meant returning to Steve and fighting for her marriage. Over the next couple of years, Kathy learned from Jesus what it meant to selflessly love a man who had been addicted to pornography.