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Relationship Maintenance

We All Can Learn Something

Six Common Problems in Dating

FIVE THINGS TO WORK ON AS A CHRISTIAN PRIOR TO AND DURING DATING 1. Work on Yourself SPIRITUALLY 2. Work on Yourself MENTALLY 3. Work on Yourself SOCIALLY 4. Work on Yourself EMOTIONALLY 5. Work on Yourself FINANCIALLY HERE ARE 7 COMMON PROBLEMS WHEN DATING 1. PRAYING Earnestly Is a Common Problem in Dating (Matthew 26:41) 2. LISTENING Attentively Is a Common Problem in Dating (James 1:19) 3. JUDGING Consistently Is a Common Problem in Dating (Romans 2:3) 4. RUSHING Passionately Is a Common Problem in Dating (1st Corinthians 6:18) 5. LYING Perpetually Is a Common Problem in Dating (2nd Corinthians 8:21) 6. GROWING Spiritually Is a Common Problem in Dating (1st Corinthians 13:11) 7. EXITING Wisely Is a Common Problem in Dating (Romans 12:18) Although all of these may not apply to you, there are elements of this lesson that applies to everyone whether single, dating, married, divorced or widowed. I pray that these were helpful as you remember that you are Empowered to Live Beyond Life Limitations.

How to Develop "YOU" Before There Is "US"

Sometimes when it comes to relationships, we always want to ask God to bless us with someone who possess certain qualities and/or abilities, but sometimes we refuse to work on ourselves between the prayer being prayed and the prayer being answered. The truth is that God may already have the person you are praying for, but will not introduce them to you until you begin to work on yourself. Therefore, I want to share with you some ways you can work on yourself while waiting for your love connection. BREAKDOWN OF MATTHEW 6:33 1. SEEKING God Must Be Your Priority 2. TRUSTING God Must Be Your Priority 3. OBEYING God Must Be Your Priority 4. DEPENDING Upon God Must Be Your Priority 10 WAYS TO DEVELOP YOURSELF 1. LOVING Yourself Is a Way to Develop You Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 2. DISCIPLING Yourself Is a Way to Develop You 1st Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with temptation, He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." 3. IMPROVING Yourself Is a Way to Develop You 2nd Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he/she is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." 4. SHARING Yourself Is a Way to Develop You 1st Peter 1:22 "Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another and earnestly from a pure heart." 5. CONSECRATING Yourself Is a Way to Develop You 1st Thessalonians 5:17 "Pray without ceasing." 6. MANAGING Yourself Is a Way to Develop You 1st Corinthians 6:19 "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, who you have from God? You are not your own..." 7. FORGIVING Yourself Is a Way to Develop You John 8:36 "He who the Son sets free, is free indeed." 8. COMMITTING Yourself Is a Way to Develop You Colossians 3:23-24 "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ." 9.HUMBLING Yourself Is a Way to Develop You Matthew 16:24 "Then Jesus told HIs disciples, if anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me." 10. EXAMINING Yourself Is a Way to Develop You 2nd Corinthians 13:5 "Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?--unless indeed you fail to meet the test." QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION What are three areas I need to work on immediately? What are two bad habits I need to quit if I ever expect God to bless my relationships? What are three great qualities I need to continue and enhance?

What Women Look for in Men

Men and women are TOTALLY different. Designed differently! Reacts differently! Thinks differently! Someone can admit that a woman's mind in impossible to figure out. Sister, before you go posting about me, you KNOW I am telling the truth. However, I will say that there are things that women of purpose look for in men that we should take notice of and seek to make sure that we can deliver upon our promises. Below, I want to share with you some principles that I believe women look for. Don't take my word for it, but share this with a sister you know and see what she says. 1. Women Look for HONEST in Men (Proverbs 12:22) 2. Women Look for CONSISTENCY in Men (Matthew 5:37) 3. Women Look for DEPENDABILITY in Men (1st Corinthians 4:2) 4. Women Look for VULNERABILITY in Men (James 5:6) 5. Women Look for SAFETY in Men (Colossians 3:19) 6. Women Look for STABILITY in Men (Proverbs 37:31) 7. Women Look for LOYALTY in Men (Proverbs 17:17) 8. Women Look for HUMOR in Men (Proverbs 17:22) 9. Women Look for DESIRE in Men (Galatians 5:22-23) 10. Women Look for LEADERSHIP in Men (Philippians 2:4) QUESTIONS FOR THE WOMEN When it comes to look for a man, who are your role models? Are your expectations realistic? Do you find yourself expecting a brother to be a carbon-copy of your father? If you did not have a present and active father in your life, do you struggle with daddy issues? What are three qualities you bring to a relationship as a woman? What do you wish men understood about YOU?

What Men Look for in Women

Hey brothers, let me ask you a question. What kind of woman are you looking for? I think this is an important question because as we are seeking to become our best, the woman we choose can either hinder us or propel us to our purpose. The saying is true, "behind every great man is a greater woman." It goes without saying, the creation of women is God's favor to us as men. I want to submit to you some qualities that I believe men should look for when seeking a woman as his mate. Before I continue, allow me to share the different kinds of women according to a recent study. 10 KIND OF WOMEN 1. The INDEPENDENT Woman 2. The DEPENDENT Woman 3. The CONFUSED Woman 4. The CONTROLLING Woman 5. The SUPPORTIVE Woman 6. The COMBATIVE Woman 7. The CRAZY Woman 8. The LOVING Woman 9. The CHRIST-LIKE Woman 10. The __________________ Woman (You fill in the blank) WHAT MEN LOOK FOR 1. Men Look for RESPECT from Women (Matthew 7:12) 2. Men Look for ATTRACTION from Women (Song of Solomon 4:7) 3. Men Look for AFFECTION from Women (1st Peter 4:8) 4. Men Look for ENCOURAGEMENT from Women (James 1:19) 5. Men Look for AFFIRMATION from Women (Ephesians 4:29) 6. Men Look for ATTENTION from Women (Proverbs 12:4a) 7. Men Look for PATIENCE from Women (Romans 12:12) 8. Men Look for PEACE from Women (Romans 12:18) 9. Men Look for SUPPORT from Women (Ecclesiastes 4:12) 10. Men Look for TRUST and PRAYERS from Women (1st Corinthians 13:7) 11. Married Men Look for SEX from Wives (Hebrews 13:4)

15 Creative Ways to Enhance Your Relationship

How do you spell relationship? W.O.R.K!!! If you are going to have a healthy growing and functional relationship, it is going to take HARD WORK! There are no EXCEPTIONS! When you see couples who have been together for many years, you can bet that they have worked through some hard times and were able to overcome many obstacles. 1. WEEKLY DATE-NIGHT Is a Way to Enhance Your Relationship 2. OPEN-COMMUNICATION Is a Way to Enhance Your Relationship 3. QUALITY-TIME Is a Way to Enhance Your Relationship 4. FORGIVENESS Is a Way to Enhance Your Relationship 5. SURPRISES Are Ways to Enhance Your Relationship 6. SACRIFICES Are Ways to Enhance Your Relationship 7. PURSUING ONE ANOTHER Is a Way to Enhance Your Relationship 8. DOUBLE-DATING Is a Way to Enhance Your Relationship 9. SHARING GOALS Is a Way to Enhance Your Relationship 10. ATTENDING CHURCH TOGETHER Is a Way to Enhance Your Relationship 11. PRAYING TOGETHER Is a Way to Enhance Your Relationship 12. VOLUNTEERING TOGETHER Is a Way to Enhance Your Relationship 13. LISTENING Is a Way to Enhance Your Relationship 14. DISAGREEING MATURELY Is a Way to Enhance Your Relationship 15. COUNSELING Is a Way to Enhance Your Relationship REFLECTION QUESTIONS a. What creative things are you doing in your relationship to make your mate feel appreciated? b. When was the last time you prayed and asked the Lord to show you the steps to make your relationship a success?

How to Forgive and Rebuild Trust

Many relationships fail because of lack of communication and unforgiveness. One person said, "Successful relationships are built on daily forgiveness." Which means, if we are going to succeed in relationships, we must be able to forgive one another. DISCLAIMER PHYSICAL ABUSE Should Never Be Tolerated VERBAL ABUSE Should Never Be Tolerated MENTAL ABUSE Should Never Be Tolerated SPIRITUAL ABUSE Should Never Be Tolerated If you find yourself in any of the above situations, please consider serious counseling and/or making a decision that is in your best interest. If you are the one inflicting this upon your mate, know that this is totally against the will of God. The reason why the above are mentioned is because these are actions that can harm someone physically and mentally. Let me also be clear that I am referring to "DATING" and not "MARRIAGE". If you are married and your find yourself in these conditions, I suggest that you seek professional help QUICKLY! Contrary to what you think or feel, relationships can be RESTORED after hitting a brick wall. The only requirement is that BOTH of you have to be willing to put in the hard work. Below are some principles that an help your relationship heal and flourish. 1. CONVERSATION Can Help Rebuild Trust 2. ACCOUNTABILITY Can Help Rebuild Trust 3. OPEN ACCESS Can Help Rebuild Trust 4. COUNSELING Can Help Rebuild Trust 5. TIME Can Help Rebuild Trust 6. THERAPY Can Help Rebuild Trust 7. HUMILITY Can Help Rebuild Trust 8. CONSISTENCY Can Help Rebuild Trust 9. PRAYER Can Help Rebuild Trust 10. FORGIVENESS Can Help Rebuild Trust If you have ruined the trust of your mate, it Is going to take time to rebuild it, and it can't be on your time-table. However, if you are willing to rebuild it, you can develop a relationship that can lead to a godly marriage. It all depends on YOU and your MATE.

Habits That Can Destroy Your Relationship

A lot of relationships are destroyed not because they could not survive, but sometimes they are ended because of unhealthy habits that could not be eliminated. I want to share with you habits in relationships that can lead to dysfunction and ultimately failure. 1. Consistent SOCIAL-MEDIA Can Destroy Your Relationship How often are you on social media? Are your postings respectful of your relationship? Are there any questionable social media friendships and/or interactions? Are you on It when you are with your mate? 2. Poor MONEY-MANAGEMENT Can Destroy Your Relationship How do you manage your finances? What are your expectations when paying for bills? Are you open and honest about your financial status? 3. Nosey SINGLE FRIENDS Can Destroy Your Relationship Who do you talk to about your relationship? Are most of your friends single or married? Do you ever feel as if you have to choose between your friends and the person you are dating? Have you ever ended a relationship as a result of the opinion of a trusted friend? How do you feel about having close friendships with the opposite sex? 4. Nosey FAMILY MEMBERS Can Destroy Your Relationship How involved is your family when you are dating someone? Do you expect your mate to be involved with family activities? How has your mother/father successful marriage and/or separation or divorce impacted your expectations of a relationship? 5. Powerful FEARS Can Destroy Your Relationship Are there any fears that often hurt your relationships? What is your biggest fear when it comes to dating? How do you handle your fears and how can your mate help you eliminate those fears? 6. Unexplainable TEXT MESSAGES Can Destroy Your Relationship Are you responsible in how you communicate through texting? Has texting becoming your primary form of communicating with your mate? Do you send text messages to others that can be considered questionable? 7. Immature COMMUNICATION Can Destroy Your Relationship How can we talk "TO" your mate instead of "AT" your mate? When do you talk best after a disagreement? Do you handle disagreement immediately or do you need time to process? 8. Unrealistic EXPECTATIONS Can Destroy Your Relationship What are your expectation of your mate and why? Are your expectations realistic? Which expectations are considered non-negotiable? 9. Yielding to TEMPTATIONS Can Destroy Your Relationship How do you manage your temptations in relationships? Have you ever cheated in past relationships? If so, how can your mate trust that you will not cheat in this relationship? What are boundaries you can set for one another to protect your relationship? 10. Unwillingness to FORGIVE Can Destroy Your Relationship How important is forgiveness in relationship to you? How do you handle forgiveness when you are the one who needs it? What are things you will and will not forgive The bottom line is that EVERY relationship can be strayed when proper boundaries are not set in place. As you date, decide to respect the one you are dating and demand the same respect towards you. Always remember, whatever you PERMIT, your PROMOTE. I pray that your relationship that is or is to come will flourish and lead you to where the Lord will have you to be.

How to Break-Up Without Breaking Down

Have you ever stayed in a relationship that you know you didn't need to be in? Hold up! Are you in a relationship NOW that you know God doesn't approve for you? If so, I want you to know that in order for you to move to your NEXT, you may have to eliminate your NOW. So why is it hard to break up? SOME REASONS a. SEXUAL SOUL-TIES Can Make It Hard to Break-Up b. COMFORTABILITY Can Make It Hard to Break-Up c. LONELINESS Can Make It Hard to Break-Up d. DEPENDENCY Can Make It Hard to Break-Up 7 WAYS TO BREAK UP WITHOUT IT GETTING UGLY 1. Break-Up PERSONALLY (Matthew 18:15) 2. Break-Up RESPECTFULLY (Ephesians 4:29) 3. Break-Up PEACEFULLY (Colossians 3:15) 4. Break-Up PRAYERFULLY (Philippians 4:6) 5. Break-Up MATURELY (1st Corinthians 14:20) 6. Break-Up PERMANENTLY (Matthew 5:37) "This is optional" 7. Break-Up HONESTLY (Colossians 3:9) After you have prayed, trust the Lord to lead you in the right manner and the right time in order for you to have the right relationship. Some people are placed in our lives for a season, and some for a life time. DO NOT get a seasonal person confused with a permanent person. Every DATING relationship is not meant to lead to marriage, so be mindful and trust your heart.

Ways to Avoid Temptation

Don't ever fool yourself, temptation is REAL! Therefore, in order to maintain healthy relationships, you must always learn how to resist tempting moments. Ideas lead to actions, action leads to habits, habits lead to lifestyle, and lifestyle leads to your destiny. Whatever you desire to create in your relationship, you must make sure that your thinking, your actions, your habits, and your lifestyle choices match up. The story of Adam & Eve (Genesis 3:1-17) serves as a helpful guide on how to make sure that we do not fall prey to tempting moments from the enemy who seeks to destroy Christian Relationships that can lead to a Christian Marriage. 1. Being Mindful of the Devil's POWER Is a Way to Avoid Temptation (Genesis 3:1a) 2. Being Mindful of the Devil's CONVERSATION Is a Way to Avoid Temptation (Genesis 3:1b) 3. Being Mindful of the Devil's PARTICIPATION Is a Way to Avoid Temptation (Genesis 3:2-3) 4. Being Mindful of the Devil's DECEPTION Is a Way to Avoid Temptation (Genesis 3:4-5) 5. Being Mindful of the Your WEAKNESSES Is a Way to Avoid Temptation (Genesis 3:6a) a) Weakness of the FLESH b) Weakness of the EYES c) Weakness of your PRIDE 6. Being Mindful of God's VOICE Is a Way to Avoid Temptation (Genesis 3:9-10) 7. Being Mindful of God's COMMAND Is a Way to Avoid Temptation (Genesis 3:11) 8. Being Mindful of Your LIES Is a Way to Avoid Temptation (Genesis 3:12) 9. Being Mindful of CONSEQUENCES Is a Way to Avoid Temptation (Genesis 3:17) Fidelity is important in DATING because whatever you do in your dating you will also one day do in your marriage. If you find yourself struggling with being faithful, make the decision to work on this unhealthy habit before you bring hurt to another person. I hope this was helpful and remember, you are Empowered to Live Beyond Life Limitations.