Episode 108 - How the Reactive Cycle Affects Your Marriage
December 10, 2024 • Scott Kedersha, Gabrielle McCullough, Derek Davidson • Philippians 4:8, Proverbs 15:1, Romans 12:2
In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the reactive cycle couples often get into with each other when their expectations aren’t met. We often fall into harmful patterns that can lead us to negative reactions in our marriage. What is this cycle and how do we get out of it?
Scriptures:
PR 15:1
Rom 12:2
Phil 4:8
Resources:
https://hoperestored.focusonthefamily.com/ (from Focus on the Family)
https://www.reactivecycle.com/ “Test” – through this brief assessment you can learn your marriage triggers and responses.
https://amzn.to/3zpngeg, by Gary Thomas
https://amzn.to/4f7bygs, by Mike Foster
Questions to Discuss:
1. What triggers your reactive cycle?
2. How can you increase the gap between a negative trigger and your response?
3. How can we avoid spiraling down into the reactive cycle?
Wrapped in Peace
December 9, 2024 • Jonathan Pokluda • Luke 1
This week in our series, Wrapped, JP unpacks the message of Luke 1, reminding us where true peace is found. Peace comes when we trust in God’s promises, rely on His unlimited power, and align our lives with His purpose. As we embrace these truths, we can navigate life’s uncertainties with confidence and discover the lasting peace that only He can provide.
Our peace is wrapped in God’s promises
Our peace is wrapped in God’s power
Our peace is wrapped in God’s purpose
Life Group Discussion:
Have you ever struggled to believe in God’s promises? How did you overcome that doubt, or how are you working through it now?
Can you share a time when you saw God’s power at work in your life or someone else’s? How did that experience influence your faith?
How does knowing that God has a purpose for your life bring you peace during times of confusion or doubt?
Episode 296: Trauma, Same-Sex Attraction, and Mental Health (feat. Brenna Blain) Part 2
December 9, 2024 • Jonathan Pokluda, Nate Hilgenkamp, Kathy Davidson
This week we continue our conversation with Brenna Blain, the author of the book "Can I Say That?" Brenna speaks about her book and her journey through trauma, same-sex attraction and mental health. We hope you are challenged and encouraged by Brenna's story like we were!
Episode 107 - Memorable Ways to Celebrate Your Wedding Anniversary
December 3, 2024 • Scott Kedersha, Gabrielle McCullough, Derek Davidson • Ephesians 5:31–32, 1 Peter 3:7
It only comes one time every year, but it’s worth celebrating! In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how to celebrate your wedding anniversary in a memorable and significant way.
Resources:
Blog Post – https://www.scottkedersha.com/blog-pages/30-unique-ways-to-celebrate-your-anniversary
Scripture:
Ephesians 5:31-32
1 Peter 3:7
Questions to Discuss:
1. What’s your favorite party you’ve ever been to?
2. What are your expectations for your anniversary? Make sure you discuss what each of your expectations are for celebrating your anniversary.
3. Why is it important to celebrate your anniversary? Do you realize your marriage is intended to be a picture of God’s triune love?
4. Where do we want to be in our marriage on our 50th anniversary?
Episode 295: Trauma, Same-Sex Attraction, and Mental Health (feat. Brenna Blain) Part 1
December 2, 2024 • Jonathan Pokluda, Nate Hilgenkamp, Kathy Davidson
This week we speak with Brenna Blain, the author of the book "Can I Say That?" Brenna speaks about her book and her journey through trauma, same-sex attraction and mental health. Our time with Brenna was so good, we had to break it up into TWO episodes, so be sure to tune in next week for part 2!
Wrapped in Hope
December 2, 2024 • Nate Hilgenkamp • Romans 15:8–13
In this message from Romans 15:8-13, Nate reminds us that God is both a promise-making and promise-keeping God. Through Jesus’ birth, we see how God fulfilled His promises, not just to the Jewish people but to everyone. As we live our lives, we’re called to hold onto hope in what God has promised, because His faithfulness gives us reason to trust and live with joy and peace.
Scripture shows we have a promise making God
Christmas shows we have a promise keeping God
Our life should show hope in what God has promised
Life Group Discussion:
How do Old Testament promises, such as those to the Patriarchs, enhance our understanding of God's faithfulness? Does your life show hope to others?
How can the Christmas story inspire hope in seasons of waiting or uncertainty? What are things you are hoping for in this season of your life?
How does placing hope in God's promises affect your response to disappointments?
Episode 106 - When Do I Overlook An Offense?
November 26, 2024 • Scott Kedersha, Gabrielle McCullough, Derek Davidson • Proverbs 19:11, Romans 12:18, 1 Corinthians 13:4–7
In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott talk about what it means to overlook a small offense in marriage. When is it okay to overlook it and when do you need to address and discuss it?
Scriptures:
Proverbs 19:11
Romans 12:18
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Resources:
Harris Creek https://static1.squarespace.com/static/609bed88cd0cfe24d393144f/t/636972fea15e31674657be77/1667855104130/harriscreek-conflictguide.pdf
Harris Creek https://static1.squarespace.com/static/609bed88cd0cfe24d393144f/t/6369730324946a1ba5999848/1667855107629/peacemakerguide-3.0.pdf
More Than Roommates – Episode 44 – https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/more-than-roommates/id1667102563?i=1000629181158
Questions to Discuss:
1. What is your favorite Disney song?
2. How do you know whether you can overlook an offense from your spouse?
3. Why do we give more grace or more easily overlook an offense from a stranger than we do for our spouse?
4. Are you a peace faker, a peace breaker, or a peace maker?
Episode 294: I’ve Got Good News!
November 25, 2024 • Jonathan Pokluda, Nate Hilgenkamp, Kathy Davidson
Sharing the gospel can be intimidating if you don’t know how to start. Remember, that the gospel is the best news you could ever share. In the episode we give clarity on how to share and why to share!
Peace That Comes With a Life Well Played
November 24, 2024 • Jonathan Pokluda • James 3:14–18
As we wrap up our series, “Peace Talks,” JP challenges us to adopt a perspective focused on humility and wisdom from God, which sets the stage for real peace in our lives. JP looks to James 3:14-18 to encourage us to follow a pattern of peace by being kind, pure, and open to others, creating stronger and healthier relationships. Finally, we are reminded that peace is a team effort—when we work with God and each other, we can build a life filled with love and purpose.
The perspective that leads to peace
The pattern that leads to peace
The partnership that leads to peace
Life Group Discussion:
Why do you think peace starts with a change in perspective rather than just actions?
Which of the traits listed in James 3:17 (pure, peace-loving, gentle, willing to yield, etc.) do you find the hardest to practice, and why?
Why is it important to partner with God in pursuing peace rather than trying to do it alone?
Episode 105 - Mutual Respect in Marriage (feat. Kyler & Britt Nixon from Love Your First Year)
November 19, 2024 • Scott Kedersha, Gabri, Kyler Nixon • Romans 12:10, Matthew 7:12, Ephesians 5:33, Ecclesiastes 4:12
In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle and Scott interview Kyler and Britt Nixon about mutual respect in marriage. The Nixons primarily work with young couples, but this message is relevant for every couple. The Nixons provide practical ways to provide mutual respect in your marriage.
Scriptures:
Ephesians 5:33
Ecclesiastes 4:12
Romans 12:10
MT 7:12
Resources:
Follow https://www.instagram.com/loveyourfirstyear/ on Instagram!
Website – https://www.loveyourfirstyear.com/
Online Course - https://www.loveyourfirstyear.com/course
Blog Post - https://www.loveyourfirstyear.com/post/the-5-conflict-languages
Questions to Discuss:
1. How do you and your spouse make decisions? Do you make decisions together? How do you fight for alignment?
2. Why does it matter for you and your spouse to show each other respect?
3. How do you restore trust and respect when either has been broken?
Episode 293: Jesus in Hollywood (feat. Dallas Jenkins)
November 18, 2024 • Jonathan Pokluda, Nate Hilgenkamp, Kathy Davidson
This week we speak with Dallas Jenkins, the creator of “The Chosen” and the new movie “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever”. Dallas speaks about how to create in the midst of cynics, how to glorify God with your creativity, and how to recover from failure. You don’t want to miss this one!
Peace When Life is Hard
November 17, 2024 • John Elmore • 1 Peter 5:6–14
In this powerful sermon by John based on 1 Peter 5:6-14, discover the transformative strength found in humility, as we are called to humble ourselves before God’s mighty hand. Learn to release the weight of life’s anxieties by casting them upon the One who deeply cares for you and stand firm in faith to resist the adversary’s schemes. Be inspired to depend wholly on God, trusting in His promise to restore, strengthen, and establish you for His eternal glory.
Humble yourself
Anxieties are cast
Resistance in faith
Depend on God
Life Group Discussion:
Can you think of a time when humility brought about unexpected blessings or growth?
How can sharing your struggles with a faith community help in casting your burdens to God?
In what ways does standing firm in faith encourage others in their spiritual journey?
Why is it important to remember God’s promise to restore and strengthen you when facing trials?
Episode 104 - Holidays and In-Law & Family Expectations
November 12, 2024 • Scott Kedersha, Gabrielle McCullough, Derek Davidson • James 4:1, Matthew 7:12, Philippians 2:3–4, Galatians 1:10
In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discussing holidays, especially related to expectations around family and in-laws. How can you proactively address some of the challenges couples often face around holiday expectations?
Scriptures:
James 4:1
Matthew 7:12
Phil 2:3-4
Galatians 1:10
Questions to Discuss:
1. What’s your favorite Holiday movie? Is Home Alone a Christmas movie? (Yes, of course it is!).
2. How can you fight back against selfishness during the holidays?
3. How can you and your spouse be peacemakers this holiday season?
Resources:
More Than Roommates - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/more-than-roommates/id1667102563?i=1000633990338
More Than Roommates – https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/more-than-roommates/id1667102563?i=1000634756871
Episode 292: The End is Near?!
November 11, 2024 • Jonathan Pokluda, Nate Hilgenkamp, Kathy Davidson
If Jesus is coming back soon, what does that mean? Should we be scared? Excited? How can we prepare for Him to come back?
Peace with Difficult People
November 10, 2024 • Jonathan Pokluda • Romans 12:14–21
This powerful sermon on Romans 12:14-21 offers a fresh perspective on handling life’s challenges with humility, empathy, and unwavering faith. It’s a heartfelt reminder to counter negativity with kindness, seek peace in our relationships, and entrust justice to God. If you’re looking to deepen your faith and discover practical ways to live out love even in difficult situations, JP’s message will uplift and inspire you.
Proceed Humbly
Engage with empathy
Amend all you can
Counter evil with good
Entrust justice to God
Life Group Discussion:
What does humility look like in our daily interactions, especially when dealing with those who may oppose us?
How can we better understand the struggles or perspectives of those we disagree with?
How can we overcome fears or hesitations that might hold us back from seeking to make amends?
How does choosing goodness in the face of wrongdoing reflect God’s love to others?
How can we find peace in situations where we feel wronged but have chosen not to seek personal revenge?
Episode 103 - Protect Your Marriage (Live from the 2024 MTR Marriage Conference)
November 7, 2024 • Scott Kedersha, Gabrielle McCullough, Derek Davidson • 1 Corinthians 10:12–13, 1 Timothy 1:15, Psalm 16:11, Romans 13:14, Luke 6:47–49
Live from the 2024 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference! In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott respond to a testimony of infidelity shared live at the 2024 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference. We share some lessons learned on how to protect our marriages.
Registration is now open for the 2025 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference! Find out more at https://harriscreek.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/2548656.
Scriptures:
1 Corinthians 10:12-13
Romans 13:14
Luke 6:47-49
PS 16:11
MT 7:3-5
1 Tim 1:15
Questions to Discuss:
1. As we unpack Kevin & Kelli’s testimony, what stuck out to you from our observations?
2. What do you run to when you’re stressed in life and in marriage?
3. Who or what is the biggest problem in your marriage?
Resources:
More Than Roommates Episode 102 – A Story of Redemption and Forgiveness (feat. Kevin & Kelli Mainz)
Episode 102 - A Story of Redemption and Forgiveness (feat. Kevin & Kelli Mainz)
November 5, 2024 • Scott Kedersha, Kevin Mainz, Kelli Mainz • Romans 12:2, Deuteronomy 31:8, Romans 8:28, Ecclesiastes 9:9, Isaiah 40:28–31
In this episode of More Than Roommates, we get to hear a testimony from Kevin & Kelli Mainz and their story of infidelity and recovery. While you may not have the same testimony as Kevin & Kelli, you can still learn from their mistakes and be encouraged by God’s faithfulness in their story.
Registration is now open for the 2025 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference! Find out more at https://harriscreek.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/2548656.
Questions to Discuss:
1. What are you most encouraged by or challenged by in Kevin & Kelli’s testimony?
2.How have you experienced God’s grace, mercy, and forgiveness in your life and in your marriage?
3. What story does your marriage tell? A story of brokenness or of redemption and healing?
Scriptures:
Romans 12:2
Deut 31:8
Rom 8:28
Ecc 9:9
PR 3:5-6
Isa 40:28-31
Episode 291: This One Is About You! (feat. Chad Veach)
November 4, 2024 • Jonathan Pokluda, Nate Hilgenkamp, Kathy Davidson
This week we talk with Pastor Chad Veach about his new book “I bet you think this book is about you”. It’s a book about the joy that comes with humility and how to become a more humble person. Pick up his book here: https://a.co/d/gyew5ss
The 2025 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference!
November 4, 2024 • Scott Kedersha, Gabrielle McCullough, Derek Davidson
We are so excited about the 2025 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference on January 31-February 1, 2025 at Harris Creek! We'll have great teaching, breakouts, fun, and surprises as we seek to help couples take the next intentional step to become so much more than just roommates.
We hope to see you there! You can find all the details about the conference and sign-up to join us https://harriscreek.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/2548656
We sold out last year and we assume we will this year as well, so come join us while spots are available!
As always, if we can answer any questions, email us at http://harriscreek.org/. Please make sure to rate and review More Than Roommates, and please share with your friends.
Peace with Authority
November 3, 2024 • Nate Hilgenkamp • Romans 13:1–7
Discover the teachings of Romans 13:1-7 in this impactful sermon, where Nate points us to God’s divine role in establishing authority. Gain insight into how we're called to respectfully submit to those in positions of power as an act of faith and obedience. Finally, understand the importance of honoring and giving what we owe to authorities, embracing these principles as part of living a godly life.
God establishes those in authority
God calls us to submit to those in authority
God call us to give what we owe to those in authority
Life Group Discussion:
How does understanding that God establishes authority influence your view of government and leadership? In what ways can this belief strengthen our faith during times of political or social tension?
In what ways might our submission to authority reflect our trust in God’s overall plan? How can a willingness to submit impact our relationships with others and our witness to those around us?
In our daily lives, what are some practical ways we can "give what we owe" to those in authority, like teachers, employers, or government officials? How might showing respect and honoring these responsibilities reflect our values and faith, even if we don’t always agree with them?
Episode 101 - Elections, Your Vote, & Your Marriage
October 31, 2024 • Scott Kedersha, Gabrielle McCullough, Derek Davidson • Matthew 22:15–22, Ephesians 4:3–5, Matthew 5:13–16, Romans 12:1–2, Ephesians 4:29
In this special episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott talk Elections, Your Vote, and Your Marriage. We discuss whether you and your spouse should share who you’re voting for, how you can disagree well, and what to do if you disagree on who to vote for.
Scriptures:
MT 22:15-22
2 Cor 6:14
Ephesians 4:3-5
MT 5:13-16
Jeremiah 29:7
Romans 12:1-2
Eph 4:29
Questions to Discuss:
1. What are some disagreements that you and your spouse had in the past that are funny to look back on now?
2. How can you and your spouse disagree well to the glory of God?
3. What can kindness look like in your marriage even when you disagree with one another?
Resources:
Peace Talks Series – Part 1, https://harriscreek.subspla.sh/7m38wv5, Jonathan Pokluda
Podcast – Becoming Something – Episode 289 – https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-289-conspiracies-and-candidates-feat-jason/id1454045768?i=1000673816406 (feat. Jason Woodruff)
Podcast – The Pour Over, https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bonus-episode-2024-election-topics-abortion/id1583657464?i=1000666746503 Bonus Episodes
Instagram Post - https://www.instagram.com/p/dbxnzaloona/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=mzrlodbinwflza==
