Laugh of the Day
From Pastor Blount
042325 Laugh of the Day From Pastor Blount
Julie and her 7-year-old daughter, Amy, were in church. Amy told her mom she was feeling like she wanted to throw up. Julie told her to leave the sanctuary, go to the end of the hall, step outside and throw up. She left and in about 4 minutes she came back and sat down. Julie asked, "How did you go outside and back so fast?" Amy replied, "I didn't have to go outside. There was in the lobby a box on the wall that said, FOR THE SICK. I threw up in there!!!"
042225 Laugh of the Day From Pastor Blount
Judy was accused of not being too bright. She was stopped by a woman cop who said she was speeding and asked for her driving license. Judy replied, "What's that?" Sensing her disability with a smile, the officer said, "Look in your purse. It's that thing in your purse with your picture on it." Judy looked in her purse and handed the officer her compact. The officer took the compact and opened it and said, "Why didn't you tell me you are a policewoman!!!!!"
041925 Laugh of the Day From Pastor Blount
Bob and Jane were celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary. 3 am in the morning, Bob is downstairs in tears. Jane heard him sobbing, came downstairs, put her arms around him and asked what is wrong? Bob said, "I have a confession. You remember when we married, you were only 15 years old. Your dad told me if I didn't marry you, he would have me put in prison!!! Jane replied, "Aww baby, but look we are celebrating our 20th anniversary!!! Why are you so sad?" Bob replied, "Today I would've been released from prison!!!"
041825 Laugh of the Day From Pastor Blount
10-year-old Bobby was heartbroken with tears to learn his dog Benji was dying within weeks. His dad put his arms around him to console him. Bobby said, "Dad, when Benji dies can we have a funeral in the back yard?" His dad replied, "Yes." Bobby then said, "Can I invite my friends?" His dad said, "Yes". Bobby then said, "After the funeral can we have hotdogs, hamburgers, chips, and ice cream?" His dad said, "Yes" Bobby then said, "Dad, can we kill him today?"
041725 Laugh of the Day From Pastor Blount
Judy came home from shopping and said to her husband, Fred, "Shopping was great today. I bought some girdles for a ridiculous figure!!!" Fred replied, "I know. But how much did they cost?"
041624 Laugh of the Day From Pastor Blount
Judy was annoyed with her husband Bob for falling asleep in church and snoring. She vowed to embarrass him if he did it again. The next Sunday in church, he fell asleep and started snoring. She reached in her purse and unfolded some rotten limburger cheese and placed it under his nose. With his eyes still closed, he said, "Not now, Judy. Don't try to kiss me now!!!"
041524 Laugh of the Day From Pastor Blount
Joe's 85-year-old grandmother was criticizing his wife's taste in clothing. She claimed her clothing did not make her look attractive. Joe did not appreciate her comments and accused her of being petty and selfish. His grandmother bragged, "I have you to know I was known for my beauty and style. When I was 16, the President of the United States gave me a beauty award!!!" Joe replied, "Really? I didn't think President Lincoln bothered with that kind of thing!!!”
041424 Laugh of the Day From Pastor Blount
The UNIQUENESS of Adam and Eve Adam didn't have to listen to Eve talking about the man she should've married. Eve was the first woman to say, "I’m I haven't got a thing to wear" and meant it. Adam and Eve lived thousands of year BC--Before Clothing Their conversations had to be difficult. They had nobody to talk about!!!
041124 Laugh of the Day From Pastor Blount
Bob whispered to his attorney in court, "Looks like we are losing my case. I heard the judge like Cuban hand-rolled cigars. Do you think it will help us if I get him a box?" His attorney replied, "No, don't do that. This judge hates any attempt to bribe him!!!" The next day he was found not guilty. The attorney said, "I am so glad I stopped you for trying to bribe the judge by giving him cigars!!!" Bob replied, "I did get him the cigars. I sent them in the name of the prosecutor!!!
041024 Laugh of the Day From Pastor Blount
Joe went to his boss and said, Hey boss, your assistant just died and I was wondering if I can take his place?" His boss replied, "It's alright with me if you can arrange it with the undertaker!!!!"
040924 Laugh of the Day From Pastor Blount
Joe called his son, Frank and said, "Just wanted you to know that being married to your mom for 42 years is enough. I am leaving her and getting a divorce. Frank replied, "No, dad!!! Don't do that!!! Have you lost your mind?" Frank calls and tells his sister, Judy, what their father said!! Judy called her dad filled with anger and said, "Father, how can you do this and it's the holidays!!! Don't do nothing!!! Frank and I are coming home to talk some sense into you!!!!" Joe turned to his wife and said, "I told you I could get the children to come home for Christmas!!!”
040824 Laugh of the Day From Pastor Blount
Judy was about to punish her son Billy, for his treatment of his sister, Mary. Judy said, "What's wrong with you Billy? First, you pushed Mary downstairs yesterday and today you kicked her in the stomach" Billy replied, "I didn't push her down the stairs. I pushed her to the first step; she fell the rest of the way!!! I didn't mean to kick her in the stomach, but she turned around!!!"
040324 Laugh of the Day From Pastor Blount
Pastor Jones was upset with his son when he saw he was sleeping in church. Pastor Jones said to his son, "It was so embarrassing while I was preaching to see you sleeping in church!!! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't punish you?" His son replied, "I slept in church because I was striving to be more like God. On the seventh day He rested!!!"
040224 Laugh of the Day From Pastor Blount
Judy told her husband Bill, if there were one of two choices he would make about their marriage, which would he choose? A. We will be on a 14 -day romantic cruise in Hawaii, all-expense paid with unlimited spending money and every moment just the two of us together---Bill interrupted her and said "B".
040124 Laugh of the Day From Pastor Blount
Joe was complaining about his wife, Judy, never cooking. Bob said, "Consider yourself lucky. Some people can cook but don't. My wife can't cook but does. She is a terrible cook. Our garbage disposal has an ulcer!!!!"