Shepherding Adult Children

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Shepherding Adult Children

Selected Scripture

November 5, 2023 • Richard Caldwell Jr.

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Introduction:

The Bible makes clear that a parent’s responsibility to influence their children extends beyond the time of their childhood years. The fact that the people of God were taught to pass on the truth to their grandchildren, assumes an ongoing role in the families of their adult children.

ESV Deuteronomy 4:9 "Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children's children-- 10 how on the day that you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, the LORD said to me, 'Gather the people to me, that I may let them hear my words, so that they may learn to fear me all the days that they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children so.'

ESV Proverbs 17:6 Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers.

Looking at it from the opposite angle, the commands of God to honor parents for a lifetime, and to care for parents in their older years, indicates that godliness means an ongoing presence and concern, and relationship, and influence, in the lives of children after they are grown.

ESV Exodus 20:12 "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.

ESV Matthew 15:4 For God commanded, 'Honor your father and your mother,' and, 'Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.' (this would certainly assume children old enough to be held accountable as adults)

Job was an example of ongoing influence in the lives of his adult children.

ESV Job 1:2 There were born to him seven sons and three daughters. 3 He possessed 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen, and 500 female donkeys, and very many servants, so that this man was the greatest of all the people of the east. 4 His sons used to go and hold a feast in the house of each one on his day, and they would send and invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. 5 And when the days of the feast had run their course, Job would send and consecrate them, and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job said, "It may be that my children have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts." Thus Job did continually.

Eli’s leniency with his sons, and God’s rebuke of him, testifies to ways that a father’s refusal to do what is right in his relationship with his adult children (granted, in unique circumstances in his case), is a matter for rebuke.

ESV 1 Samuel 12:12 And when you saw that Nahash the king of the Ammonites came against you, you said to me, 'No, but a king shall reign over us,' when the LORD your God was your king. 13 And now behold the king whom you have chosen, for whom you have asked; behold, the LORD has set a king over you. 14 If you will fear the LORD and serve him and obey his voice and not rebel against the commandment of the LORD, and if both you and the king who reigns over you will follow the LORD your God, it will be well. 15 But if you will not obey the voice of the LORD, but rebel against the commandment of the LORD, then the hand of the LORD will be against you and your king. 16 Now therefore stand still and see this great thing that the LORD will do before your eyes. 17 Is it not wheat harvest today? I will call upon the LORD, that he may send thunder and rain. And you shall know and see that your wickedness is great, which you have done in the sight of the LORD, in asking for yourselves a king."

ESV 1 Samuel 2:22 Now Eli was very old, and he kept hearing all that his sons were doing to all Israel, and how they lay with the women who were serving at the entrance to the tent of meeting. 23 And he said to them, "Why do you do such things? For I hear of your evil dealings from all these people. 24 No, my sons; it is no good report that I hear the people of the LORD spreading abroad. 25 If someone sins against a man, God will mediate for him, but if someone sins against the LORD, who can intercede for him?" But they would not listen to the voice of their father, for it was the will of the LORD to put them to death.

ESV 1 Samuel 2:27 And there came a man of God to Eli and said to him, "Thus says the LORD, 'Did I indeed reveal myself to the house of your father when they were in Egypt subject to the house of Pharaoh? 28 Did I choose him out of all the tribes of Israel to be my priest, to go up to my altar, to burn incense, to wear an ephod before me? I gave to the house of your father all my offerings by fire from the people of Israel. 29 Why then do you scorn my sacrifices and my offerings that I commanded for my dwelling, and honor your sons above me by fattening yourselves on the choicest parts of every offering of my people Israel?' 30 Therefore the LORD, the God of Israel, declares: 'I promised that your house and the house of your father should go in and out before me forever,' but now the LORD declares: 'Far be it from me, for those who honor me I will honor, and those who despise me shall be lightly esteemed.

The multigenerational influence seen in the family of God — in the local church — speaks to that same kind of influence in families.

ESV Titus 2:1 But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. 2 Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. 6 Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. 7 Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, 8 and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.

The Lord’s Church - It’s Importance Part 2

September 1, 2024 • Richard Caldwell Jr. • 1 Timothy 3:14–15

Introduction: The importance of the church is on display in Paul’s life and ministry. We saw it in Paul’s passion for the church. We saw it in Paul’s patience with the church. We saw it in the urgency and authority of the message committed to the Lord’s church. We saw it in the detailed instructions given to the Lord’s church. We saw it in the problems faced by the Lord’s church. BUT NOW WE SEE IT IN YET ANOTHER WAY. The importance of the church is seen in its GOD-GIVEN IDENTITY. What is the church? How are we to understand ourselves? Why are we here and what are we to be about? I. THE CHURCH IS THE HOUSEHOLD OF GOD (The church considered as a family) When the church is described as a household — the FAMILY OF GOD — it communicates several truths. This speaks of HONOR — His name is upon us. This speaks of AMBITION — We desire to please our Father. This speaks of UNION — We belong to a family so that we have been brought into a union with our God in Christ and are members of each other (brothers and sisters). This speaks of AUTHORITY — We are under His headship — His rule (Christ is the head of His church). This speaks of NEW BIRTH — We are God’s by means of adoption, but also by means of new nature. There are two families in the earth. Those who have God as their Father, and those who are of their father the devil. This speaks of RESPONSIBILITY — We have care for each other that has been assigned to us. ESV 1 Corinthians 5:11 But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler-- not even to eat with such a one. 12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? 13 God judges those outside. "Purge the evil person from among you." II. THE CHURCH IS THE ASSEMBLY OF THE LIVING GOD (The church considered as an assembly) ἐκκλησία ekklesia Meaning: an assembly, a (religious) congregation We are not just God’s family, we are, at the same time, His assembly. A. THIS SPEAKS OF ORGANIZATION As we said earlier, there is a proper way to conduct ourselves in the Lord’s church. There is a leadership structure. There is an organization God has set forth. ESV 1 Corinthians 14:37 If anyone thinks that he is a prophet, or spiritual, he should acknowledge that the things I am writing to you are a command of the Lord. 38 If anyone does not recognize this, he is not recognized. 39 So, my brothers, earnestly desire to prophesy, and do not forbid speaking in tongues. ESV 1 Corinthians 12:28 And God has appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, helping, administrating, and various kinds of tongues. So, the church is the family of God, organized in accordance with the Word of God, for the purpose of carrying out the ministry of the local church that has been assigned by God. B. THIS SPEAKS OF REPRESENTATION The church of the LIVING (the God who really exists) God. In a sea of paganism and multiplied false gods, the church belongs to the true and living God. This is a test of a healthy church — do they represent God in the FULLNESS of His character? Do they preach the whole counsel of God about EVERYTHING, including what God has revealed about His own NATURE and ATTRIBUTES? C. THIS SPEAKS OF PROTECTION The church is cared for by its OWNER. ESV Matthew 16:18 And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

The Lord’s Church - It’s Importance Part 1

September 1, 2024 • Richard Caldwell Jr. • 1 Timothy 3:14–15

Introduction: To love the Lord Jesus is love what He loves. It is to be devoted to all that He would have us be devoted to. And if you love what Jesus loves, then you must love the local church. If you are devoted to what He would have you be devoted to, then you must be devoted to the local church. He loved the church and gave Himself for her, and He has promised to build His church, and He has, and He is. But we are living in times when there is a gross misunderstanding of the local church. We don’t know who we are, and we don’t know why we are here. And what is sad and amazing about that is that God has given us His Word for the very purpose that we would never find ourselves in that position. As the title of one book about elders reads, “When all else fails, read the directions.” Well, here in the word of God, and specifically, in the Pastoral Epistles, we have the directions. What do they teach us? I. THE IMPORTANCE OF THE CHURCH This is perhaps the first thing that we have forgotten, just how important the Lord’s church is. There is error on both ends of the spectrum when it comes to this issue. **There are those who treat the church as if it isn’t important to God, or to genuine Christianity. -Some place the church on the same level with any Christian teaching organization. -Some place the church on the same level with Christian television or radio -Some see the church as a tragic failure and abandon it altogether -Some give the church their time and their attendance as it fits into their schedule *If it doesn’t interfere with their work, or their pleasures *If it gives them what they want *If it can be fit into their retirement plans and travel plans **There are others who treat the church as important, but they don’t really understand why it is important. They see the church not through the eyes of the New Testament, but through the eyes of their own ideas. They see the church as important, but not for the reasons that they should and what they really desire is not at all what the Lord intended His church to be. Indeed, it is a sad reality that with many professing Christians the more the church becomes what it was intended to be, the less they desire it. A. SEEN IN PAUL’S PASSION FOR THE CHURCH 1. RECENTLY RELEASED FROM ROMAN IMPRISONMENT 2. VISITING CITIES WHERE HE HAD MINISTERED, LEAVING TIMOTHY IN EPHESUS TO SET CERTAIN THINGS IN ORDER 3. HOPING TO COME TO THEM PERSONALLY IN A SHORT TIME 4. GIVING THEM CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS UNTIL HE CAN BE PRESENT Why did Paul have such a passion for these assemblies? HE CARRIED THESE CHURCHES IN HIS HEART. ESV 2 Corinthians 11:23 Are they servants of Christ? I am a better one-- I am talking like a madman-- with far greater labors, far more imprisonments, with countless beatings, and often near death. 24 Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; 26 on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; 27 in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. 28 And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches. BECAUSE OF HIS LORD’S LOVE FOR THE CHURCHES ESV Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, To love the Lord Jesus is to love what He loves.

A Sure & Steadfast Hope

July 14, 2024 • Richard Caldwell Jr. • Lamentations 3:19–24

Introduction: The sorrow expressed in the book of Lamentations is something foreign to us. There are different kinds of sorrow. In some respects, a broken heart is a broken heart, but there are some things that will be unique to each one of us in our particular sorrow. There are tears that we will shed, at some point in our life, that no one but our Great High Priest will ever be able to fully understand. We do our best to comfort one another in the love of Christ, but we sense, even as we desire to be ministers of mercy, our great limitations. We sense our own limitations in trying to help those who are hurting, and we sense the limitations of others when WE are hurting. And when you have tried to pour your heart to another human being who hasn’t faced your particular trial, you can appreciate their love toward you, but there is also a loneliness felt in knowing that they really don’t completely understand. What the prophet Jeremiah describes in this book, we read, and we benefit from, but in a sense, we can only sit in silence and listen as he tells us what he feels, and as he tells us what he has seen. For we have never seen anything like what he saw. For over 40 years this prophet gave to his people the warnings from God. He told them that destruction was coming. They despised him for it. They mocked him, they persecuted him, and they rejected him. But what he was given to proclaim — arrived. Everything that God said, through the prophet Jeremiah, one day came. And what came was horrific. Jeremiah writes this sometime between the fall of Jerusalem in 586 B.C., and when he was forced to depart to Egypt in 583 B.C. (Jeremiah 43:1-7) Throughout the book he tells us of his sorrow in 5 poems. You get a taste of the entire book and a context for our verses by paying attention to his 3rd lament which is found here in this 3rd chapter. In chapter 3 he is the afflicted man. He is telling us of his overwhelming grief. *He is in absolute darkness with the hand of God turned against him again and again all day long. (vs.1-3) *His flesh and skin waste away, and God has broken his bones, and enveloped him with bitterness and tribulation and made him to dwell in darkness like the dead. (vs.4-6) *He is a man who is walled in without escape, and his chains are heavy. He calls and cries out for help but God shuts out his prayers and his ways are blocked, and his paths are crooked. (vs.7-9) *His despair makes him feel like God has become like his enemy. Like a bear that has ripped him to pieces, or a lion. He has been reduced to desolation. He is the target for the bow and the arrows of God and the arrows have gone right to his innermost parts. (vs.10-13) *He is a laughingstock. He is taunted. (vs.14) *His life feels like nothing but unending bitterness and misery (vs.15-16) *He is so sorrowful that he can find no peace, and he can’t remember goodness, he has forgotten what happiness is. (vs.17) *His mindset is that he cannot endure anymore and he has no hope. All he can think about and remember are his afflictions. (vs.18) And before you think Jeremiah to be a bit dramatic, realize what he has seen. His people, God’s people, have been conquered by Babylon. The city walls are broken down. The walls, the towers, the homes, the palace, and the temple have all been destroyed. It was in mid-July when the city fell and it was in mid-August when the temple was burned. (MacArthur Commentary – 883) It is the HEAT OF THE YEAR time in Jerusalem. So conditions would have been miserable. The enemies of God have triumphed, and they are gloating. The children of Zion are treated like trash. Many, many have been slain by the sword, and in fact their bodies lie in the dust. Many have been carried away captive, and those who live and remain are in misery.