Love Is Not Selfish

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Love Is Not Selfish

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

October 27, 2024 • Richard Caldwell Jr. • 1 Corinthians 13:4–5

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Introduction:

What is love? The true definition of love is the definition that God has given us in His Word. That is what God is doing here in 1 Corinthians 13. He is telling us what love is by telling us what love does and doesn’t do.

Love is not simply words.

Love is not simply a feeling.

Love is a choice, and love’s true choices are the choices that please God.

We have seen several descriptions of love already.

*Love is patient

*Love is kind

*Love is not jealous

*Love does not brag

*Love is not arrogant

*Love is not rude

Tonight, we focus on the fact that God’s love, true love, IS NOT SELFISH.

I. LOVE DOES NOT SEEK ITS OWN INTERESTS (vs.5b)

Woodenly translated you could say that “love does not seek the things of itself.” The ESV has does not insist on its own way.” The NAS has “does not seek its own.”

I think a faithful way to describe it is to say that LOVE IS NOT SELFISH.

One source has it, “one’s own advantage.”

LOVE IS NOT SELFISH — IT IS NOT SELF-SEEKING.

One of the great ironies of our time, and one of the clearest indicators of the blindness of lost humanity, is that we have lived our lives in an era that has preached the message of SELF-LOVE.

“YOU MUST LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF” is the message.

It has been a very popular message, that has even made its way into the church by the church’s fascination with psychology.

THE IDEA IS THAT YOU CAN’T REALLY LOVE OTHERS UNTIL YOU LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF.

And so, the teaching was that we need a positive self-image, a positive self-esteem. We cannot love others (in a marriage for example) unless we KNOW OURSELVES, and LIKE OURSELVES, and PURSUE A KIND OF FULFILLMENT discovered through INDEPENDENCE. We must FULFILL ourselves.

There be no teaching that so turns the truth upside as that one.

What the Bible always assumes about sinful man is that HE DOES love himself.

He is an INCURABLE SELF-LOVER. And the Bible does not view that as a positive thing.

ESV 2 Timothy 3:1 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,

Nowhere does God command us to LOVE OURSELVES — but He CLEARLY COMMANDS US to love Him supremely and to love our neighbor as ourselves.

In fact, God tells us that all His commands are summed up in the command to love God with all our being and to love others as we love ourselves.

SATAN’S LIE IS THAT MEN WILL FIND HAPPINESS AND MEANING THROUGH SATISFYING OUR SELFISH HEARTS.

Is anyone listening to me who has bought that lie? Is there anyone who imagines that if you just GET YOUR WAY, if you can just pursue what you have always wanted to pursue, achieve what you have always wanted to achieve, enjoy what you have always wanted to enjoy, that THEN YOU WILL BE A SATISFIED PERSON?

THE WHOLE WORLD TESTIFIES THAT SUCH A HOPE IS A VAIN HOPE.

THE MORE SELFISH A PERSON BECOMES THE MORE MISERABLE A PERSON BECOMES.

ESV Ecclesiastes 2:1 I said in my heart, "Come now, I will test you with pleasure; enjoy yourself." But behold, this also was vanity. 2 I said of laughter, "It is mad," and of pleasure, "What use is it?" 3 I searched with my heart how to cheer my body with wine-- my heart still guiding me with wisdom-- and how to lay hold on folly, till I might see what was good for the children of man to do under heaven during the few days of their life. 4 I made great works. I built houses and planted vineyards for myself. 5 I made myself gardens and parks, and planted in them all kinds of fruit trees. 6 I made myself pools from which to water the forest of growing trees. 7 I bought male and female slaves, and had slaves who were born in my house. I had also great possessions of herds and flocks, more than any who had been before me in Jerusalem. 8 I also gathered for myself silver and gold and the treasure of kings and provinces. I got singers, both men and women, and many concubines, the delight of the sons of man. 9 So I became great and surpassed all who were before me in Jerusalem. Also my wisdom remained with me. 10 And whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I kept my heart from no pleasure, for my heart found pleasure in all my toil, and this was my reward for all my toil. 11 Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun.

Love’s Rejoicing

November 17, 2024 • Richard Caldwell Jr. • 1 Corinthians 13:5

Introduction: Lost man is incurably moralistic. Even when men are immoral, they promote their immorality in the name of morality. Using just one example. When we think about the sexual revolution that our nation has seen over the past few decades —recognize that it has been done in the NAME OF MORALITY. “It is RIGHT,” they would say, “to celebrate sexual diversity, and if anyone disagrees, IT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE A BIGOT.” In fact, they are driven by irrational fear. Homophobia. Transphobia. This places the acceptance of all the various sexual sins in the category of virtue. Those who accept such things are more enlightened, more advanced, more educated, more reasonable, or just better people. It places the rightful hatred of these behaviors in the category of bigotry. THOSE WHO ACTUALLY OPPOSE GOD ARE NOW CLAIMED TO BE ON GOD’S SIDE. THOSE WHO ACTUALLY SIDE WITH GOD’S WORD ARE NOW CLAIMED TO BE AGAINST GOD. BUT IT ISN’T JUST A GENERAL MORALITY THAT IS CLAIMED FOR THESE CHOICES — IT IS THE SPECIFIC CLAIM OF LOVE. According to the moral climate of the age: To say that a person’s sexual orientation is sinful or abnormal is UNLOVING. To say that people of the same sex shouldn’t be able to marry is UNLOVING. To refuse to treat such behaviors as normal and acceptable — in the realm of a family, for example — is said to be UNLOVING. This is a tremendous crisis in our time. IT DEMONSTRATES HOW THE MEANING OF LOVE, THE MEASURE OF LOVE, AND THE IDENTIFICATION OF WHAT IS LOVELY — HAS BEEN DISTORTED. The quality of love that we consider tonight IS A GREAT REMEDY if we are willing to listen. What we see here challenges common lies and deceptions that exist in the MORAL REALM, the RELATIONAL REALM, the DOCTRINAL REALM, and the REALM OF MINISTRY. What do we see here? We will consider these two statements under THREE headings. I. LOVE’S DISCERNMENT These two statements are to be taken together. Each statement is true on its own, but when taken together we see the fulness of what is being described. What is being described is that fact that LOVE MAKES A CHOICE. Love does not exist in the gray zone of neutrality. LOVE IS NOT ACCEPTING OF EVERYTHING. On one side of the ledger, we are told what is incompatible with love. What love DOES NOT ACCORD WITH what it CANNOT COOPERATE WITH, and what it will not REJOICE IN. On the other side of the ledger, we are told what LOVE AGREES WITH — what it TAKES JOY IN. This means that LOVE MAKES DISTINCTIONS. And it makes distinctions that require discernment. A. LOVE RECOGNIZES UNRIGHTEOUSNESS For true love, godly love, there is such a thing as sin. THE WORD HERE SPEAKS OF INJUSTICE, INIQUITY, WRONGDOING, EVIL, AND UNRIGHTEOUSNESS. That is, anything that is contrary to the will of God in belief or practice. Anything contrary to God’s will, anything that would grieve the Holy Spirit, anything contrary to the Scriptures, is unrighteousness. 1. UNRIGHTEOUSNESS IN THE REALM OF PHILOSOPHY The general way that men process the world. The realm of ideas, opinions, ambitions, standards, values, pleasures, theories, morals, etc. WHAT CHARACTERIZES SIN IN THIS REALM IS THAT IT IS A TRUTH SUPRESSOR. What is true, according to Scripture, is exchanged for lies. What would make God truly known is substituted for with lies about God.

Love Is Not Resentful

November 10, 2024 • Richard Caldwell Jr. • 1 Corinthians 13:5

Introduction: We never leave the gospel behind. Our life in Christ began with faith in the gospel, but our spiritual growth continues to be reliant on faith in the gospel. Sanctification is not moving BEYOND the gospel. Sanctification is living OUT OF THE DEPTHS of the gospel. Progressive sanctification is about know the heights and the depths and the lengths and the breadths of the love of God in Christ Jesus. ESV Ephesians 3:14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, 16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith-- that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. What is love? 1. It is patient. 2. It is kind. 3. It does not envy 4. It does not boast 5. It is not arrogant 6. It is not rude 7. It does not insist on its own way (it is not selfish) 8. It is not irritable Tonight, we see that LOVE IS NOT RESENTFUL. I. THE MEANING OF RESENTMENT It is literally, “does not take account of evil.” He uses logizomai (which means to account something, to reckon something) and kakos (which means evil). The NASB has “does not take into account a wrong suffered.” The NIV rendered it, “it keeps no record of wrongs.” Gordon Fee, commenting on this, said: “Since in Paul this verb often means ‘to put to one’s account’, it seems probable that the nuance suggested by the NIV moves in the right direction.” The idea, then, is that when we are walking in the love of God, in the love taught by the Spirit of God, in the love of Jesus Christ, we will not be a people who take account of the wrongs done to us. Several things we need to consider here. A. WE ARE TALKING ABOUT WRONGS We are talking about REAL EVIL. We are talking about things done to us that REALLY ARE WRONG. It would be one thing if what we were being taught is that we should let go of, forgive, IMAGINED WRONGS — if he was teaching that the love of God doesn’t carry a chip around on its shoulder over insignificant things. AND WE KNOW THAT WE CAN DO THAT. People carry around hurt feelings, grudges, that don’t even represent REALITY. There are people who are DECEIVED about their mistreatment. IN FACT, PEOPLE CAN BE SO DECEIVED ABOUT INJURIES THAT THE VICTIMIZER FEELS LIKE THE VICTIM. The one who feels like they have been wronged is IN THE WRONG. Example: There have been people fired from their job, who will tell everyone what a bad employer they had, when in truth they were a bad employee who deserved to be fired. I have personally known people who left their families, left their wife or husband, walked away from their children, and had built up in their mind that they WERE JUSTIFIED because somehow, they had been mistreated. But this verse isn’t calling us to simply clear the record of IMAGINARY HURTS. This verse tells us that the love of God doesn’t keep a record even when we have suffered REAL WRONGS. You really ARE mistreated. You really DO suffer wrong. You really ARE the victim of mistreatment. B. WE ARE TALKING ABOUT NO RECORDS He is telling us that where love is operating there is no record keeping of these real wrongs. Question: Are you a record keeper? Do you hold onto hurts? Do you hold grudges? Are you someone who says, “I can forgive, but I can’t forget” … which is just another way of saying, “I refuse to clear my record against you.”?

Love Is Not Provoked

November 3, 2024 • Richard Caldwell Jr. • 1 Corinthians 13:5

Introduction: One of the things that the late Martin Lloyd-Jones would warn about in his preaching was our tendency to read the Scriptures and miss their challenge. He talked about our tendency to assume that we have already experienced what they call for, or what they describe. So that, instead of being called to higher ground. Instead of being challenged to a real surrender of ourselves to the Lordship of Christ. Instead of recognizing our need to live and experience something only made possible by the new birth — only made possible by the indwelling Spirit — we SETTLE for what is natural. We settle for what we can produce. WE SUBSTITUTE what is OUR OWN BEST effort, instead of that which God produces. The quality of love that we consider tonight represents more than just self-control. It is more than self-mastery, self-discipline. It is an internal mildness that belongs to Christlikeness. IT IS A MILDNESS (patience and graciousness) THAT BELONGS TO A RECIPIENT OF THE LOVE AND GRACE OF GOD — A MILDNESS THAT MANIFESTS ITSELF IN HUMBLE AND PATIENT RESPONSES. It is the graciousness of love. It is the pliability that belongs to love. It is an aspect of the inner PEACE that knows the love of God. IT IS A RESPONSE THAT CAN ONLY BE FOUND WHERE PEOPLE DON’T MAKE TOO MUCH OF THEMSELVES. God’s love — true love — is not easily provoked. I. LOVE IS NOT IRRITABLE That statement is simple and straightforward, but we do well to meditate on it for a while, and honestly examine ourselves in light of it. I WOULD REMIND US THAT WHAT WE ARE REALLY EXAMINING IS WHETHER WE ARE WALKING IN LOVE. WHEN WE REMEMBER THAT LOVE IS THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT, THEN WE ARE EXAMINING WHETHER WE ARE WALKING BY THE SPIRIT. WHEN WE REMEMBER THAT WALKING BY THE SPIRIT IS A LIFE OF SUBMISSION TO THE LORDSHIP OF CHRIST, AND SUBMISSION TO THE WORD OF GOD, THEN WE ARE EXAMINING WHETHER OR NOT WE ARE MORTIFYING SIN AND HONORING JESUS AS LORD AT THE LEVEL OF OUR ATTITUDES AND RESPONSES TO PEOPLE AND CIRCUMSTANCES. The word itself means: BDAG — παροξύνω “to cause a state of inward arousal, urge on, stimulate, esp. provoke to wrath, irritate”#_ftn1 In the word is the idea of “sharpness — to sharpen.” Here it is in the passive voice, so it means to be irritated, to become provoked or indignant. It is used one other place in the NT, in Acts 17:16. ESV Acts 17:16 Now while Paul was waiting for them at Athens, his spirit was provoked within him as he saw that the city was full of idols. As always, context is king. That verse (Acts 17:16) demonstrates that this word could be used in a positive way. It was Paul’s zeal for God’s glory, and his compassion for deceived souls, that moved him when he saw Athens full of idols. INDEED, SOMETHING IS WRONG WHEN WE ARE NOT PROVOKED BY THINGS THAT SHOULD MAKE US ANGRY. So, the teaching in our verses is NOT that true love is never bothered BY ANYTHING. But in 1 Corinthians 13 it is obviously being used in a different sense. I THINK IT IS INSTRUCTIVE THAT IT FOLLOWS IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE TEACHING THAT LOVE IS NOT SELFISH. HERE, PAUL IS DESCRIBING A KIND OF PROVOCATION, ANGER, SHARPNESS, IRRITABILITY, THAT IS SELF-SEEKING, OR SELF-INTERESTED — SELF-FOCUSED. This kind of agitation, irritability, anger, sharpness, comes because I feel you are infringing upon me. Or you are not being to me (in one or another) what I expect and deserve. Whatever the cause, in this kind of sharpness I am more concerned about myself than I am you. ONE TRANSLATION HAS “IT IS NOT EASILY ANGERED.” NET 1 Corinthians 13:5 It is not rude, it is not self-serving, it is not easily angered or resentful. #_ftnref1 William Arndt et al., https://ref.ly/logosres/bdag?ref=page.p+780&off=1811&ctx=%3b+mel.%2c+p.+93%2c+699)+~to+cause+a+state+of+ (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2000), 780.