Fresh Start
Fresh Start // How Offense Makes Us Fools
April 28, 2024 • Ecclesiastes 7:9, Proverbs 17:9, Proverbs 18:17, Philippians 2:5–8, Ephesians 4:29–32
Fresh Start – How Offense Makes Us Fools What is offense? Offense = An annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one's standards or principles. Hebrew: peša = Transgression or sin “You know you are a true servant when it doesn’t upset you to be treated like one.” - Unknown How Offense Makes Us Fools 1. Offense makes me angry. Ecclesiastes 7:9 (ESV) “Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges (makes its home there) in the bosom of fools.” 2. Offense distracts me from the relationship. Proverbs 17:9 (ESV) “Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends” 3. Offense hardens my heart. Proverbs 18:19 (ESV) “A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle.” 4. Offense distorts my view of reality. Proverbs 18:17 (ESV) “The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.” Proverbs 19:11 (ESV) “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” Four Strategies to Overlook an Offense 1. Give up your Rights. Philippians 2:5-8 (ESV) “Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” 2. Choose to Love. Proverbs 10:12 (ESV) “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.” (Hatred = loving myself more than others) Colossians 3:12-15 (ESV) “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.” 3. Choose to Forgive. Matthew 6:14-15 (ESV) “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Ephesians 4:29-32 (ESV) “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” 4. Ask a Question. Proverbs 18:17 (ESV) “The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.” Matthew 7:3-4 (ESV) “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, Let me take the speck out of your eye, when there is the log in your own eye?”
Fresh Start // the 500 Pound Gorilla in the Room-Conflict
April 21, 2024 • Matthew 5:23–24, Genesis 3:10, James 1:19, Proverbs 12:18, 1 Peter 3:7
Dealing with the 500-Pound Gorilla in the Room - Conflict Romans 12:17-18 (NIV) “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” The effects of unresolved conflict in our relationships. 1. It can minimize our joy. 2. It can hinder our communication with God. 1 Peter 3:7 (ESV) “…husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” 3. It can hinder your sensitivity and worship to God. Matthew 5:23-24 (NIV) “…if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” Dealing with relational conflict. 1. Do something to help bring reconciliation. Matthew 12:34 (ESV) “…For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” Genesis 3:10 (NIV) “…I heard you in the garden; and I was afraid because I was naked, and so I hid.” 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV) “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2. Be honest about what you have done wrong. Matthew 7:3-5 (NIV) “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” 1 Peter 5:5 (ESV) “…Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’” 3. Listen and consider what they are saying. James 1:19 (NIV) “…Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,” Philippians 2:4 (NLT) “Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” 4. Be intentional with the words you use. Proverbs 12:18 (NIV) “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” 5. Pursue reconciliation, not agreement. Matthew 5:9 (NIV) “Blessed are the peacemakers…”
Fresh Start // Freedom from Bitterness
April 14, 2024 • Philippians 3:13, Job 12:5, Job 19:5, Hebrews 12:15, Job 7:11
Fresh Start – Freedom from Bitterness Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV) Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” I. Causes of Bitterness 1. Actions done or not done to you. Job 19:19 (NIV) “All my intimate friends detest me; those I love have turned against me.” 2. Attitudes projected towards you. Job 19:5 (NIV) “you would exalt yourselves above me and use my humiliation against me,” 3. Words spoken to you. Job 12:5 (NLT) "People who are at ease mock those in trouble. They give a push to people who are stumbling." Proverbs 15:4 (NLT) “Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” Job 5:2 (NIV) “Resentment kills a fool…” Hebrews 12:15 (NIV) “See to it that …..no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” “Many are unable to function properly in their calling because of the wounds and hurts that offenses have caused in their lives. They are handicapped and hindered from fulfilling their full potential.” - John Bevere II. Find Freedom from Bitterness 1. Be open and honest about your pain. Job 7:11 (NIV) “Therefore I will not keep silent; I will speak out in the anguish of my spirit, I will complain in the bitterness of my soul.” 2. Make the decision to forgive. Job 42:10 (NIV) “After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before.” 3. Stop looking back and look into your future. Philippians 3:13 (NIV) “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.” Job 42:12 (NIV) “The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part...”