Are you making this The Best Christmas Ever? Well, here is your third Action Step!
FACE THE PAIN.

Stay with us, don't close the app. Please read on.

Pain is REAL right now...especially this year. In all honesty, even if we are facing loss, deployments, trauma, separation, divorce, grief, depression, or anything else that hurts us, deep down we actually DO WANT to enjoy this time, but the pain just keeps us paralyzed. And on top of that, the thought of inducing more pain if we do anything semi-normal to our Christmas traditions keeps us even more paralyzed.

Here are a few practical steps to help you deal with the pain you are facing in a healthy way.

ACKNOWLEDGE IT - Emotions can hit at any time, therefore the wisest response is to make sure we acknowledge that they are there. When we do, we give them their rightful place (because emotion is not bad), and we can prep for them without them seeming like a mountain in front of us that we are trying to avoid at all cost.

ACCEPT WHERE YOU ARE - Don’t feel guilty if your goal for the holidays this year is to “get through it.”

HAVE REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS - None of our lives are a Hallmark movie. Your reality may suck right now. Set the expectation of what you can handle. You do not have to have crazy high expectations (you're not Superman or Superwoman), but do not have unrealistic low ones either (you're not Eeyore either).

DO NOT NUMB IT - Numbing emotional distress with drugs or alcohol often creates more depression and anxiety...and never helps.

FILL IN THE GAPS - You have PERMISSION to avoid fragrances, music, traditions, or locations that may blatantly trigger sadness. However, fill in that time or tradition with something positive and new! Don't feel bad for replacing the gap left with a new tradition.

WALK IT OUT - Take care of your physical well-being. Exercise produces natural stress reducers.

GET OUTSIDE - Don't let the rain, cold, and clouds drain you of the outdoor time you need.

SOCIALIZE - Remember that we were MADE for community. Insecure feelings may tempt you to isolate, but force yourself to get out of the house even if it’s only for a short time.

SAY NO HEALTHILY - Don’t let others guilt you into taking on more than you can handle, but don't avoid social interaction either. It's a fine line, but make a firm decision on what you say yes to, and know that it's ok to say no.

COMMUNICATE WITH OTHERS - Don't neglect to communicate your pain to those around you. It's not selfish on the part of others, but they may not realize you're hurting if you mask it. LET those close to you in. This is also a great way to ensure realistic expectations.

BE CREATIVE - Do something completely different this year.

FIND HELP - Help is available and necessary. Whether it's a spiritual leader, a friend, a co-worker, a counselor, your faith, a support group, or anything/anyone else that loves you and you trust. Press in, especially at these times, and find the help you deserve.

And finally, remember this, PRESS FORWARD - We tend to "move on" and forget what we've learned. We need to press forward WITH the knowledge of what we learned, or are learning, in the midst of the pain. Whatever that pain may be, becoming BETTER because of it is the truest way ensure that the pain is not in vain.

Tomorrow's Action Step will help us as we Face the Pain too, because one of the surest ways to help us face the pain is to help others face their pain.