You're in the middle of the fight of your life, and it's for your marriage. You're beaten, bloodied, tired, worn out, and rightfully so...your fighting against the one person that you're supposed to be fighting with. Remember the days when you were together for the same cause and going in the same direction? Those were nice weren't they? Well, they aren't lost days. But sometimes, like we talked about yesterday, we have to remind ourselves what we are fighting for!

We're raising our first (and only) kid. She is a solid 13 months old, full of energy, and full of that cute little thing we cal SASS! There was a day in our marriage where it was not pretty. I was dealing with depression and it manifested itself in anger...and yes, that anger was not the cause of my wife, yet she took the brunt of it. Long story short, that caused horrific fights. While today, I can look back and see that we were fighting against ourselves, I can also look back and see that we were putting too much effort into fighting against something that was wrong instead of for something that was right. Today, when I look at my little girl (and just last night), I'm reminded that she is worth us fighting for.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't believe we are to stay in a bad relationship for our kids or anything else for that matter. But, sometimes, a perspective like that can help us to evaluate what really matters in this time. So, when we fight, like we almost got into last night, we can objectively look at her, step back and evaluate, and truly ask ourselves if this is worth it. Then, we can step away, reevaluate, and step back into the conversation with humility and understanding, seeking to be in communion with our spouse instead of at odds with our spouse, even if the catalyst is something that is something like a child.

You see, marriage is work, we all know that. And sometimes, well, many times, external things can have profound impacts on it. Just like issues outside of my control contributed to us fighting like we had never fought before in a bad way, the same outside issues can help us fight like we have never fought before...but in a good way. Determine today what those things may be that are worth the good fight. And, when you do, let the perspective it brings you produce peace in you, so that you won't be on the defensive all the time. Cause, when I look at my little girl, she helps me realize that everything isn't about me and I don't have to take things so damn personal, and then, I'm less likely to engage in or create issues that cause the unnecessary fights. Perspective. It really does help you fight like you've never fought before.

PERSONAL JOURNAL: Hit the "Take a Note" button on this page and write out your thoughts. Use these questions as a guide.

1. How do I feel after reading this?

2. What changes need to be made?

3. What can I do about it?