Know anyone who is constantly pointing the finger? This is wrong or that is a problem and you shouldn't do this or you shouldn't act like that. They are always just pointing out what is wrong with the world. We tend to call these folks Negative Nellies. And they have the power to clear a room faster than almost any other type of person while at the same time having an innate ability to piss you off just as fast. Like Mr. Confrontational...Mr. and Mrs. Point-It-Out drain the very life out of anything or anyone they are around. They don't leach off of them and slowly suck the blood, no, they come in swinging the sword, and, giving them the benefit of the doubt, unintentionally spilling the blood of the opposing party all over the place. Therefore, creating places in which life is stifled.

They can be found usually as the person flanking Mr. or Mrs. Confrontational. Right there on their right-hand side pointing out every single little flaw that they see in others, therefore, creating moments in which the Confrontational move into the action of confronting. When not in great company, they are still found as the ones in the room paying attention to everyone else around them, except for themselves. I don't believe that this fella wants to isolate himself in the corner that he eventually finds himself in. No, I think that in some way, many times, the Pointer has had something happen to them that never was dealt with nor healed correctly if at all...and now, pointing out the flaws around them has become a defense mechanism. Sadly, this is only a temporary defense strategy though. Their efforts to deflect not only further expose themselves, but they further isolate them from what could be the very life-saving circle that they need.

They aren't necessarily trying to suck the life out of the room, yet here they go, doing what has become normal to them. They aren't necessarily the tattle tale or the big baby, but rather more of the one who is just constantly creating doubt, dissension, and dialogue about even the smallest of flaws in this or that or him or her. Their efforts to point it out in others find them advertising to the world that there is something inside of me that I don't want to deal with or I don't know how to deal with. It's easy to point out the flaws of others. You don't really have to look too hard to find said flaws. So, the pointer is always looking, not as some stalker person, but rather as a person who just wants to feel better about themselves. Their reality is one of concealing their own flaws by revealing yours.

Today, if this is you, let me ask, what is it in you that you are trying to conceal? I've been this fella before, and it's not a fun existence. But, when I found that both me and my flaws that I tried desperately to conceal could actually be loved...I found that I no longer felt the need to hide behind my defection. I was trying to keep the attention off of me, but really I was just drawing more attention to myself.

Please, find a person (hit me up if need be) and practice exposing your own flaws to them. When we have people around us who see our flaws and love us anyway, it creates security in us that can not be explained. You are worthy of unconditional love, and you're desperate for it. It is not being weak to talk about these issues we face, it's actually the strongest thing you can do.

So, maybe a little less finger-pointing mixed with a little more self-reflection will help you and me both thrive in a divided world, and, who knows, we may just set the example.

JOURNAL: Hit the "Take a Note" button on this page and write out your thoughts and use these questions as a guide.

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