The Brotherly Love of A Christian

Romans 12:10-13

May 25, 2008

We have entered a very important portion of Scripture,

In which God is revealing His commands for how to live the Christian life.

If you and I truly desire to be

Living and holy sacrifices that are acceptable to God,

Then we need to pay attention to what is written in this chapter.

This morning, we studied The Purity of a Christian,

And learned that we are to love God without hypocrisy.

Our love for Him is to sincere and genuine, and in order to do that,

We must hate what He hates and love what He loves.

That is the greatest commandment.

But you and I are aware that after giving the greatest commandment,

Jesus also gave the second greatest.

Matthew 22:37-40 “And He said to him, "'YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.' "This is the great and foremost commandment. "The second is like it, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.' "On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets."

And notice the significance of those two commands.

“On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.”

Paul will essentially say the same thing, later in the book of Romans.

Romans 13:8-10 “Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. For this, "YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY, YOU SHALL NOT MURDER, YOU SHALL NOT STEAL, YOU SHALL NOT COVET," and if there is any other commandment, it is summed up in this saying, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF." Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.”

In other words, if you miss these two,

It doesn’t matter what else you do right,

You have completely missed God’s point.

This was the Pharisees to a “T”.

Luke 14:3-6 “And Jesus answered and spoke to the lawyers and Pharisees, saying, "Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath, or not?" But they kept silent. And He took hold of him and healed him, and sent him away. And He said to them, "Which one of you will have a son or an ox fall into a well, and will not immediately pull him out on a Sabbath day?" And they could make no reply to this.”

The insinuation was that they loved their ox

More than they loved their brother.

The Bible is clear, we are to love our brother.

John 13:34-35 "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

John 15:12-17 "This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. "You are My friends if you do what I command you. "No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you. "You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you. "This I command you, that you love one another.”

Jesus begins and ends with brotherly love.

That means that everything in the middle also relates to brotherly love.

(Our obedience; our fruitfulness; our friendship with God)

1 John 3:23 “This is His commandment, that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as He commanded us.”

1 John 4:20-21 “If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also.”

So you and I understand the Biblical mandate to love our neighbor.

The command saturates the pages of Scripture.

And this is the second attribute Paul wants you to see

About sacrificial Christian living.

(10) “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love;”

That word “devoted” translates PHILOSTORGOS

It is a compound word that is only used here.

PHILO – refers to phileo, which is “brotherly love”

STARGE – can be defined as “tenderly affectionate”.

It is specifically seen as the affection a parent has for a child.

In fact, STARGE is what started the use of the stork as

the symbolic figure in mythology for delivering babies.

At any rate, when you put PHILO and STARGE together,

You get PHILOSTORGOS,

Which means that you should devote yourself to your brother,

Like a mother does to their child.

A mother is devoted to her children.

That is precisely what Paul says we ought to have here.

“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love”

You and I should be ready at the drop of a hat

To give love to our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Now just in case, you don’t fully understand “brotherly love”,

Paul gives another command.

“give preference to one another in honor;”

The Greek word for “give preference” is a word

That literally means “to go before”.

It was a word that spoke of leadership.

But here Paul seems to use it in an opposite way,

By commanding us to lead out in yielding to one another.

We are commanded to lead out in putting others first.

Commonly we can recognize that for two people to live in harmony,

One will have to take the high road and put the other person first.

The problem is, that most of the time,

We want the other person to lead out in giving in.

Paul commands just the opposite.

He commands us to lead out in putting others first.

That is brotherly love.

Philippians 2:1-4 “Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”

If you were to read the end of his letter to the Philippians,

He actually gets specific in this encouragement.

Philippians 4:2 “I urge Euodia and I urge Syntyche to live in harmony in the Lord.”

Paul is actually commanding those women to fulfill the command here.

“give preference to one another in honor;”

The command is also summed up well in:

Ephesians 5:21 “and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.”

And so you see the point of the text tonight.

Paul is commanding us to have “brotherly love”

But Paul isn’t finished.

In the next 3 verses, there are listed 8 commands.

We’ll combine some of them and see 3 additional points Paul is making

In order to show us what true “brotherly love” looks like.

These verses list 8 commands that reveal

What truly obedient and effective brotherly love looks like.

#1 COMMITMENT

Romans 12:11

You will notice that in verse 11, Paul gives 3 distinct

And yet connected commands.

They are all given as ways to express brotherly love.

“not lagging behind in diligence”

“fervent in spirit”

“serving the Lord”

All three, while different, carry the same general guideline,

And it is that of COMMITMENT.

The question is how committed am I to express brotherly love?

And let’s look at these three commands real quickly.

1) “not lagging behind in diligence”

The wording there paints a very graphic picture

That we can all easily understand.

Two things you can’t do while working for my dad.

You can’t be idle.

You can’t be slow.

That is the picture here.

Don’t be the lazy guy at the back of the pack

That is in no hurry to do what God has commanded.

When we are called to love one another, it is a calling to get busy doing it.

There is no room for procrastination, or laziness.

To be effective in brotherly love, then get busy and get after it.

Ephesians 5:15-16 “Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil.”

Hebrews 6:10-12 “For God is not unjust so as to forget your work and the love which you have shown toward His name, in having ministered and in still ministering to the saints. And we desire that each one of you show the same diligence so as to realize the full assurance of hope until the end, so that you will not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.”

So if we are talking about effective brotherly love,

Then let’s get after it, and start showing love for another.

“not lagging behind in diligence”

2) “fervent in spirit”

Where diligent speaks of your rate, or your work ethic,

“fervent” speaks of your PASSION.

And of course the two cannot be separated.

It is extremely difficult to motivate a person to diligence,

When they have no fervency

And so Paul commands us to be passionate

About our love for one another.

“be fervent in spirit”

1 Peter 1:22 “Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls for a sincere love of the brethren, fervently love one another from the heart,”

Since brotherly love is the whole point,

Then do it with everything you’ve got.

1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.”

Notice what Paul told the Thessalonians:

1 Thessalonians 4:9-10 “Now as to the love of the brethren, you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another; for indeed you do practice it toward all the brethren who are in all Macedonia. But we urge you, brethren, to excel still more,”

“Now as to the love of the brethren, you have no need for anyone to write to you”.

In other words, this was a church that was good at it.

Yet, notice how Paul concluded the statement,

“But we urge you, brethren, to excel still more,”

The implication is that it doesn’t matter how much love you think you have for your brothers, LOVE THEM EVEN MORE.

“not lagging behind in diligence” “fervent in spirit”

3) “serving the Lord”

HOW DOES THAT FIT?

This is the heart of our commitment.

Remember what we learned last Sunday night about spiritual gifts?

If you want to truly serve God,

Then use your gifts in the service of others to the best of your ability.

That is the implication here.

Love others with all your heart as a form of service to God.

And this is not a stretch.

Remember what Jesus said?

Matthew 25:34-40 "Then the King will say to those on His right, 'Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 'For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.' "Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? 'And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 'When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?' "The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'

In fact, even after His resurrection, remember what He told Peter?

John 21:17 “He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me?" Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, "Do you love Me?" And he said to Him, "Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You." Jesus said to him, "Tend My sheep.”

Jesus was linking Peter’s love for Jesus,

To Peter’s love for Jesus’ children.

And that is what Paul is saying.

If you are going to fulfill the command to love your brother,

Then it must be done with commitment.

You cannot be half-hearted about it, and expect that God will be pleased.

If you want to serve God, and be the Christian He intends for you to be,

Then you have to get committed to love your brother.

“not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord;”

So the first characteristic of brotherly love is commitment.

#2 COMPOSURE

Romans 12:11

Paul gives three separate commands that all relate to the same thought,

And again modify the command to love your brother.

Each of these commands has to do with our composure.

While love is commanded, love is most certainly not easy.

Many times love goes unrewarded,

And sometimes, it is even scoffed at and rejected.

AND THE NATURAL HUMAN TENDENCY IS TO STOP.

That is when a Christian must keep his or her composure

And determine to love his brother anyway.

1) “rejoicing in hope”

Even when we see absolutely no results from our sacrificial love,

We rejoice, in hope that some day it will work.

1 Corinthians 13:7 “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

We can never lose hope that God’s way is right, and that love never fails.

Galatians 6:9 “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.”

I was watching a move the other day about a boy who had a friend

Who was acting unlovable, and the boy was frustrated.

The boys dad said, “If you love Pete, just to change him,

Then that is not really love.”

But that is not true.

That is precisely why Jesus loved us.

Max Lucado said, “God loves you just the way you are,

But He refuses to leave you there.”

We love one another, “rejoicing in hope”

That we can lead them to be all that God desires for them to be.

And you had better have that, because some people

Are just flat out tough to love, and hope is all you can cling to.

2) “persevering in tribulation”

HOW DOES THAT FIT INTO LOVE?

Are you actually going to be persecuted by the people you love?

Well I should think that is obvious,

Since we are commanded to love our enemies.

The bottom line is, that if you love people with a Biblical love,

They may not always like what they receive,

And they may even throw it back in your face.

TAKE A WIFE

1 Peter 3:1-2 “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.”

But a husband may not want a wife with “good behavior”

TAKE A HUSBAND

Ephesians 5:25-27 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.”

Notice that part of a husband’s love for his wife is “having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word”.

Now, contrary to popular belief, not all wives

Like to have their husbands give them a Bible lesson.

TAKE A PASTOR

Paul told Timothy many Church members would have “itching ears”,

And they might not like you if you love them enough to preach the truth.

A Christian will have to maintain composure and persevere in love.

3) “devoted to prayer”

Obviously we are to pray for those we are called to love.

Matthew 5:43-48 "You have heard that it was said, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR and hate your enemy.' "But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. "For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? "If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? "Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

Even when He knew that Peter would betray Him.

Luke 22:31-32 "Simon, Simon, behold, Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat; but I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned again, strengthen your brothers."

Regardless of how hard it becomes to love a person,

We stay committed to it, we continue to pray for them,

And we hold out hope that God’s way is right.

“rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer”

To love effectively, it takes COMMITMENT, it takes COMPOSURE

#3 CONTRIBUTION

Romans 12:13

This is where the action really begins.

“contributing to the needs of the saints,”

When a brother has financial needs, we contribute financially.

When a brother has physical needs, we contribute physically.

When a brother has emotional needs, we contribute emotionally.

When a brother has spiritual needs, we contribute spiritually.

If love does not contain some sort of contribution,

Then you are hard pressed to identify that it truly does exist at all.

1 John 3:13-18 “Do not be surprised, brethren, if the world hates you. We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides in death. Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer; and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has the world's goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.”

It is the simple reminder that love carries contribution.

Galatians 6:10 “So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.”

Deuteronomy 15:7-11 "If there is a poor man with you, one of your brothers, in any of your towns in your land which the LORD your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart, nor close your hand from your poor brother; but you shall freely open your hand to him, and shall generously lend him sufficient for his need in whatever he lacks. "Beware that there is no base thought in your heart, saying, 'The seventh year, the year of remission, is near,' and your eye is hostile toward your poor brother, and you give him nothing; then he may cry to the LORD against you, and it will be a sin in you. "You shall generously give to him, and your heart shall not be grieved when you give to him, because for this thing the LORD your God will bless you in all your work and in all your undertakings. "For the poor will never cease to be in the land; therefore I command you, saying, 'You shall freely open your hand to your brother, to your needy and poor in your land.'”

If your brother (and we aren’t even talking about the lost here),

But if your brother or sister in Christ has a need,

Then dig deep to help them out.

And when you take that with the previous commands.

Not only should we meet the need, but

We should not lag behind to do it,

We should be fervent about it,

We should rejoice in it,

Persevere through it,

And know that this is our service to the Lord.

If you are not helping others, you are not loving others.

BUT WHAT ABOUT IF A BROTHER OR A SISTER DOESN’T HAVE A SPECIFIC NEED?

Then look at this final command

“practicing hospitality.”

Now certainly hospitality can be applied when there is a need.

Acts 2:44-45 “And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common; and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need.”

Certainly that hospitality stemmed from a need,

But hospitality is not necessarily all about need.

Hospitality is also about fellowship.

Hebrews 13:1-2 “Let love of the brethren continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.”

1 Peter 4:9 “Be hospitable to one another without complaint.”

We as Christians are called to love one another.

With Commitment

“not lagging behind in diligence” “fervent in spirit” “serving the Lord”

With Composure

“rejoicing in hope” “persevering in tribulation” “devoted to prayer”

With Contribution

“contributing to the needs of the saints” “practicing hospitality.”

And to love our brothers in this way is what it means

“to present your body a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God,”