012 Leadership Matters – part 6

Titus 1:5-9 (7-8)

March 9, 2025

Tonight let’s continue looking at the qualifications for leadership.

I’ll refresh you with our outline on the screen here.

I. The Purpose (5a)

II. The Directive (5b-9)

A. The Title

B. The Job

C. The Plurality

D. The Appointment

E. The Gender

F. The Reputation

1. In His Family

a. With His Wife

b. With His Kids

2. In His Church

That is where we have come tonight.

And again, I want to just begin tonight by reminding that

We are not necessarily here looking to disqualify a man.

What we are seeking to do if find men who are obviously qualified.

The others we’re calling POTENTIALLY qualified after deeper examination

Or perhaps we should say EVENTUALLY qualified after proven changes.

Some men may need to live faithful to their wives for a few more years

· To put behind them past mistakes and prove that redemption and sanctification

has taken hold and they are now ready to shepherd the flock.

Some men may need to go shepherd their children a little while longer

· And invest their energy in that arena first,

Or perhaps the church needs to dig a little deeper

Into the circumstances of the man to determine eligibility.

But the list we have here is a list that shows us men who are ready today.

If you want to know what a qualified man looks like this is it.

As we examine men as potential elders in the church,

Having examined his family

WE NOW LOOK to how he carries himself in the church.

LET ME ALSO SAY, that it has been my personal observation

· That these criteria have generally taken a back seat over the years to the first two,

· And I think that is tragic.

WHAT I MEAN IS THIS,

That for years in the church all that people really seemed to evaluate

· Was whether or not a man had been divorced,

· And perhaps how his kids behaved.

But if he wasn’t divorced and his kids were pretty good kids,

No one really cared too much about the rest of the list.

And that is one of the main reasons why

Churches have been saddled with bad leadership in so many situations.

As I have visited with people about church structure

And have even discussed an elder led model,

I have had some tell me of “bad experiences” with elder led churches.

I’m sure that is true.

It was an elder board that dominated, ignored, and disregarded the flock

And it is no surprise that the flock suffered under such leadership.

It is perfectly understandable that someone in that scenario

Would cringe at the thought of an elder led model.

I CAN CERTAINLY WEIGH IN ON what it’s like being under a deacon board that was just as oppressive.

· I could pretty much tell you on a weekly basis what part of my sermon was going to get me ripped by the deacon body at Crawford,

· Eventually they told me to leave and not come back.

There are plenty of us who have our own personal PTSD

From having suffered under bad leadership.

And the reason for this is because

Churches have been notorious for placing ungodly men

In leadership positions so long as they had never been divorced.

THAT IS A TRAGEDY.

THE CRITERIA WE LOOK AT TONIGHT

Is every bit as IMPORTANT as the criteria we looked at this morning.

A man may be faithful in marriage and have obedient kids

And be totally unfit for the role of an elder.

IT’S NOT JUST HIS FAMILY WE LOOK AT, IT’S ALSO HIS ATTITUDE.

AND THAT IS WHAT WE WANT TO LOOK AT TONIGHT.

Paul starts in verse 7 with a perfect transition

Between an elders family and his attitude.

He says, “For the overseer must be above reproach as God’s steward…”

You of course notice that Paul has shifted

To one of the other titles for the leadership in God’s church.

· Those he referred to as “elders” in verse 5

· He now refers to with the title “overseer” in verse 7.

This is EPISKOPAS – and it refers to a manager.

It is one who comes to oversee what is going on.

No doubt Paul uses that title

Because he also refers to the man as “God’s steward”

“steward” is OIKONOMOS

It means “the manager of a household”

He is one of the men whom God is putting in charge of His household.

He is one of the men whom God is charging to oversee His people.

Well that makes sense why God is so concerned

With how he managed his own house up in verse 6,

Because in verse 7 he is about to tasked to manage God’s.

I love the term “steward” as a title for leaders in the church.

One of the most convicting passages I read is:

1 Peter 5:2 “shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness;”

That phrase “flock of God” cuts me to the heart.

· It is the reminder that the church does not belong to me.

· It is the reminder that the church does not exist for me.

· This is God’s church.

· You are God’s people.

He created you, He redeemed you, He is sanctifying you,

He will come back for you.

In the meantime He appoints stewards

To watch over you, feed you, shepherd you, etc.

And those who are in leadership must never forget their place.

We have been entrusted with the flock of God

And it matters how they are cared for.

Just like you would be selective who you asked to take care of your dog or your cat or your chickens or your cows while you are on vacation,

So is God selective with who He selects to manage His flock until He returns.

AND CERTAINLY if you are going to select someone to take care of your dogs

· You are going to pick someone who actually likes dogs (or cats or chickens or cows).

· You don’t want someone who hates dogs and kicks dogs and ignores dogs on a daily basis.

· That would be a bad selection.

In the same way, when we start examining men as potential elders

It is important to select men who know how to deal with people.

· He needs to be someone who loves people.

· He needs to be someone who desires to minister to people.

1 Timothy 3:1 “It is a trustworthy statement: if any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work he desires to do.”

There must be a desire to care for the people of God.

Far too often men are selected simply because they want to preach.

Certainly preaching is a big part of it,

· You’ll see down in verse 9 that he has to be able to do that too,

· But there is far more to the job than just preaching.

Does he even love the people he is preaching to?

This job of elder is not merely theological, though that is important.

This job of elder is not merely administrative, though that is important.

This job of elder is to manage the flock of God.

I think the Ezekiel passage gives great insight there.

Ezekiel 34:4 “Those who are sickly you have not strengthened, the diseased you have not healed, the broken you have not bound up, the scattered you have not brought back, nor have you sought for the lost; but with force and with severity you have dominated them.”

We are NOT dealing with an abstract audience.

We are NOT dealing with a cyber flock.

The church is comprised of living, breathing, emotional, spirited people.

· Sometimes these people are diseased, or broken, or scattered, or lost.

· Sometimes they are angry, or disillusioned, or confused, or burdened, or deceived, or stubborn.

And the overseer must deal with these real living people

In the midst of their real messy and emotional lives.

The sheep don’t always “lay down in green pastures beside still waters”.

· Sometimes they wander off.

· Sometimes they butt back at you.

· Sometimes they are hard to catch; hard to doctor; hard to lead.

When selecting leadership in the church

We are directed to select men

Who are equipped with the right disposition to handle that.

I want to ILLUSTRATE this tonight before we get to the list.

I often tell people that if they think they want to be in a leadership position

To first read the book of Numbers,

Just so they will know what they are getting in to.

· It would not be a stretch if we were to say that apart from Jesus, Moses was the greatest leader who ever walked on the earth,

· But you should know what it was like for him.

TURN TO: NUMBERS 11:1-15

(READ 11:1-15)

· Incidentally, one of the solutions God gave to Moses was to appoint elders to help him with the leadership. (READ 11:16-17)

But they were certainly an unpleasant people to shepherd.

TURN TO: NUMBERS 12:1-2

· There it was Moses’ sister who grumbled against him because they didn’t like the wife he chose.

· It would be later in the chapter that God would make Miriam leprous for a time.

TURN TO: NUMBERS 13:27-28

· Remember when Moses sent out the spies?

· Remember the report? (VS 31-32)

That must have been a great day for Moses.

God gives a direction, you tell the people, and they vote not to obey.

Fun days as a leader.

TURN TO: NUMBERS 14:1-4

· It wasn’t Moses’ fault, but he took the blame

· And the people wanted to get a new leader and go back to Egypt.

But instead of growing angry, Moses interceded for them (VS 19)

That is leadership.

TURN TO: NUMBERS 16:1-3

· Those people resented Moses being in authority over the people.

· They were all God’s people and they resisted that someone would ascend to an authoritative position over them.

If you’ll remember God killed Korah and Dathan and Abiram

By opening the ground and swallowing them alive.

TURN TO: NUMBERS 16:41-50

· God killed Korah and the people blamed Moses and tried again to overthrow him.

· God was again angry and Moses again interceded for them.

It seems like someone was always angry at Moses

And someone was always trying to overthrow him.

AND THAT IS NOT TO MENTION

The sin of the people that certainly grieved Moses.

· Did he not have to intercede when they made the golden calf?

· What about Baal Peor where they intermarried with the Moabites and God sent a plague that killed 24,000?

· What about Meribah and Massah where Israel grumbled with no water and God came to loath the people there?

· What about when they grumbled again in the wilderness and God sent serpents to bite them from the sand and Moses had to make a serpent on a pole?

When you read the book of Numbers

You don’t walk away with a glorious view of leadership.

LEADERSHIP IS HARD

PEOPLE CAN BE stubborn, ungrateful, disobedient, rebellious, grumbling, and even mutinous.

THEY CAN attack you, blame you, accuse you, slander you, grumble about you, ignore you, etc.

IT IS REAL.

AND HERE IS THE QUESTION.

How is the man you are considering going to respond to such reproach?

· Is he a “turn the other cheek” kind of guy?

· Is he a “return their curse for a blessing” kind of guy?

· Or is he a fight back and beat you up kind of guy?

Is he going to pull a Moses and intercede for the people even when the sin they committed was against him?

· Or is he going to pull a Jonah and ask God to kill them anyway?

I might further set the stage by reading:

Philippians 2:1-11 “Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

We are certainly aware of how Christ cared for the flock.

· He was humble and humiliated.

· He was lowly and rejected.

· But He never stopped loving the flock.

Matthew 12:14-21 “But the Pharisees went out and conspired against Him, as to how they might destroy Him. But Jesus, aware of this, withdrew from there. Many followed Him, and He healed them all, and warned them not to tell who He was. This was to fulfill what was spoken through Isaiah the prophet: “Behold, My Servant whom I have chosen; My Beloved in whom My soul is well-pleased; I will put My Spirit upon Him, And He shall proclaim justice to the Gentiles. “He will not quarrel, nor cry out; Nor will anyone hear His voice in the streets. “A battered reed He will not break off, And a smoldering wick He will not put out, Until He leads justice to victory. “And in His name the Gentiles will hope.”

· Not a screamer.

· Not a bragger.

· Not a bully.

He was tender and calm and patient and compassionate.

· He bore reproach and scorn.

· He endured murmuring and complaint.

· He was patient with little faith and slow growth.

Psalms 103:8-14 “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness. He will not always strive with us, Nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, Nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. Just as a father has compassion on his children, So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.”

That is how Christ shepherds His flock.

He is looking for men who will shepherd them the exact same way.

NOT ONLY THAT,

He is also looking for men who will set that kind of example for His flock.

Christ doesn’t only bid undershepherds

To walk with humility and patience with the flock.

Christ also expects sheep to be humble and patient with each other,

And they will learn how by watching the example of their elders.

That is why we see passages like this:

1 Timothy 4:12 “Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe.”

1 Peter 5:3 “nor yet as lording it over those allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock.”

Titus 2:7 “in all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified,”

See you want an overseer who will manage like Christ managed,

And who will set a Christ-like example for the sheep to follow.

If you don’t select this type of man the church is going to suffer.

He may not have been divorced

He may have obedient kids,

BUT HE NEEDS TO BE MORE THAN JUST THAT.

HIS ATTITUDE MATTERS TOO.

Now, with that as a backdrop

I think you’re going to understand this list much better.

There is a sense in which we need to examine each word individually

· To know what it means,

But I think even more so you need to see these words as a whole

· Because it paints for us quite a picture.

So we are discussing HIS REPUTATION IN THE CHURCH.

· And if you are keeping the outline then call this (a) and (b) under that heading.

I. The Purpose (5a)

II. The Directive (5b-9)

A. The Title

B. The Job

C. The Plurality

D. The Appointment

E. The Gender

F. The Reputation

1. In His Family

a. With His Wife

b. With His Kids

2. In His Church

a. His Maturity

b. His Ability

We are going to look at:

1. HIS MATURITY

2. HIS ABILITY

TONIGHT LET’S LOOK AT HIS MATURITY.

We’ll get to his ability next Sunday morning.

(7-8) “For the overseer must be above reproach as God’s steward, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not addicted to wine, not pugnacious, not fond of sordid gain, but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, just, devout, self-controlled,”

It is very easy to see the distinction between verse 7 and verse 8.

· Verse 7 speaks negatively of what things the man must not be.

· Verse 8 speaks positively of what he must be.

Let’s first look at what he must not be found in verse 7.

“not self-willed”

The Greek word there simply means “self-pleasing”.

· You are not looking for a man whose objective in life is only to please himself.

Peter used the word when talking about false prophets who seek to infiltrate the church.

2 Peter 2:10b-11 “Daring, self-willed, they do not tremble when they revile angelic majesties, whereas angels who are greater in might and power do not bring a reviling judgment against them before the Lord.”

It is a man who only cares about what he wants

And gives no concern to the will of anyone else.

That sort of dominating type leader is strictly forbidden.

“not quick-tempered”

That is ORGILOS in the Greek.

· It comes from the word ORGE which is the word for “wrath” (even God’s wrath)

· This compound word means “inclined to anger; passionate”.

That is to say that his temper is his “go-to”

When he doesn’t get his way or when he gets offended.

He is ready to fly off the handle.

He manipulates the flock with his temper.

(Incidentally, that might be why his kids are so well-behaved, they might just be terrified)

A Christian is commanded not to act like that.

Ephesians 4:31 “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.”

Colossians 3:8 “But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth.”

If the sheep are not supposed to fly off the handle in anger

Then certainly the example setting shepherd must not either.

A man with a temper is not presently qualified to oversee God’s flock.

“not addicted to wine”

The Greek word simply indicates “one who always has wine by his side”.

· He lingers long at the bottle.

This would be his coping mechanism to a frustrating job.

It is hard to lead, it is frustrating to lead and the way he copes is by drinking.

Obviously you don’t want a man who buries his struggles in the bottle.

You want a man who is given to lay his burdens at the feet of God.

Ephesians 5:18 “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit,”

“not pugnacious”

That Greek word simply means “a giver of blows”

· He’s a puncher.

Not only will get fly off the handle in his anger,

But he’s liable to punch you in the nose if you irritate him.

And perhaps it’s not a physical blow, perhaps it is a verbal one.

He might just destroy you with his words when you anger him.

Sheep don’t need a shepherd who delights in kicking them

Or whacking them with a stick when they frustrate him.

“not fond of sordid gain”

This speaks of a man who only stays with the sheep for one reason…to make money.

· He doesn’t care about the sheep.

· He may not even like the sheep.

· But the sheep provide a source of benefit or income that he does like so he stays there.

Micah 3:5 “Thus says the Lord concerning the prophets who lead my people astray; When they have something to bite with their teeth, They cry, “Peace,” But against him who puts nothing in their mouths They declare holy war.”

This is not the type of man you want as an elder.

NOW WE WENT THROUGH THOSE QUICKLY,

Not because they aren’t important individually,

But because I want you just to consider them as a whole for a moment.

Imagine a man like this in leadership.

Imagine if Moses had behaved like this.

The people rebelled and grumbled so:

Moses, thinking only of himself,

· Flew off the handle at them,

· Then to handle his frustration he went and got drunk,

· Then got violent and started beating the people.

· He would have left all-together but he craved the power of the position.

Was that Moses?

No.

· Moses was patient, interceding, enduring, caring.

· Moses was a shepherd, not a butcher.

But what do you call a person who throws a fit when they don’t get their way?

· What do you call a person who needs wine to pacify their anger?

· What do you call a person who kicks and hits when they are angry?

· What do you call a person who only calms down when you put something in

their mouth?

I know what we call that type of person…A BABY

They don’t belong in the pulpit, they belong in the nursery.

1 Corinthians 3:1-3 “And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual men, but as to men of flesh, as to infants in Christ. I gave you milk to drink, not solid food; for you were not yet able to receive it. Indeed, even now you are not yet able, for you are still fleshly. For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly, and are you not walking like mere men?”

Go sit in the nursery.

· All they think about are themselves.

· They scream when they don’t get their way.

· You have to shove a pacifier in their mouth to calm them down.

· They are prone to bight and punch and kick if they aren’t happy.

And unfortunately there are men in the church who are just like them.

They never grew up.

· They still can’t handle their emotions.

· They still can’t control their temper.

I don’t care if they’ve been divorced or not, don’t let them be a leader.

Churches have had plenty like that, and they destroy flocks.

A leader must be mature.

Not a baby.

WELL WHAT DOES MATURITY LOOK LIKE?

Well let’s examine verse 8

“but hospitable”

It is a word that means “love of guests”

1 Peter 4:9 “Be hospitable to one another without complaint.”

· He has to be a man who actually loves people.

· He has to like being around them.

· He has to like having them over.

· He has to like it when they stop by to visit.

It’s hard to shepherd when you don’t like being around sheep.

“loving what is good”

He is a lover of goodness or a promoter of virtue.

· He is concerned about his flock doing the right thing.

· He is concerned about setting the right example.

It’s not about winning, it’s about running the race the right way.

· He is not a pragmatist where the ends justify the means.

· He is a perfectionist where running properly matters.

He doesn’t just want the sheep to get fed and lay down and be quiet,

He wants them to be good and pleasant sheep.

He cares that they are pleasing to God.

“sensible”

It is a word that means “of a sound mind; and able to curb one’s impulses”

He may be a man who feels anger at the response of his people,

But his mind controls his emotions.

There may be a part of him that wants to fly off the handle,

But he is mature enough not to.

“just”

The word actually means “righteous”

Matthew 1:19 “And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly.”

Mark 6:20 “for Herod was afraid of John, knowing that he was a righteous and holy man, and he kept him safe. And when he heard him, he was very perplexed; but he used to enjoy listening to him.”

Luke 1:5-6 “In the days of Herod, king of Judea, there was a priest named Zacharias, of the division of Abijah; and he had a wife from the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. They were both righteous in the sight of God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and requirements of the Lord.”

It is simply people who do the right thing.

Joseph was certainly confused and hurt

· When he thought Mary had betrayed him

· But even then he was going to do the right thing

· By her and send her away secretly.

It is what we saw in Moses over and over.

Taking the reproach of the people but doing the right thing by interceding.

“devout”

This is a word that means “undefiled by sin, free from wickedness, pure, holy, pious”

It was a word used to describe Jesus as the “Holy One”

OBVIOUSLY IT CANNOT BE a man who is without sin and totally holy,

(At least not beyond the imputed righteousness of Christ to his life.)

But it is a man who is committed

To being as holy and free from sin as he can be.

· He is not a man who settles at a certain level of wickedness.

· He is well-aware that he is an example to the flock

· And that he must be above reproach at all times.

He’s not a guy with skeletons in the closet.

He’s not a guy who leads a double life.

You don’t want a guy who is only holy when he’s at church,

But who is someone else when he’s in the world.

“self-controlled”

The Greek word means “strong, robust, having power over, mastering, controlling one’s self”

In short, he is a mature man.

He is not overrun by his emotions.

Now again, each word is important by itself.

We might note that to Timothy

Paul added the words “peaceable” and “gentle”

And certainly they fit this list easily.

But I think the idea here is more of

The general idea that all of these words portray together.

When you are looking for an elder to oversee the flock of God

You don’t want an immature baby

· Who needs to be pacified;

· Who will fight and kick and scream when he doesn’t get his way.

What you want is a mature man,

· Who has control over his emotions.

· A man who is more concerned about godliness than winning;

· A man who is more concerned about being holy than being honored by men.

If you don’t pick men like that,

You are asking for trouble in the leadership of the church.

So as you examine the congregation for men who could lead the flock.

Look at his family.

· Is he faithful to his wife?

· Are his kids faithful and obedient?

Now look at his attitude.

· Is he a mature man who can turn the other cheek?

· Is he a self-controlled man who will be a good example?

THAT IS THE TYPE OF MAN WE ARE LOOKING FOR.

AND AGAIN, IF A MAN DOES NOT FIT THAT BILL TODAY,

Then we are not going to ordain him right now,

But we do hold out that through repentance and sanctification and growth

That a man not qualified today might be qualified in time.

This is not a list to disqualify forever,

It is a list to show who is presently qualified.

We want men who will be faithful to the bride of Christ.

We want men who will rightly manage the household of God.

We want men who will patiently and selflessly lead the flock of God.

1 Peter 5:1-3 “Therefore, I exhort the elders among you, as your fellow elder and witness of the sufferings of Christ, and a partaker also of the glory that is to be revealed, shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness; nor yet as lording it over those allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock.”