Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

One of the funniest lines I heard in education was from a colleague who was retiring one year. He was having difficulty unwrapping his retirement gift to the point that a few other people got up to help him. After they failed, he looked out at the staff and said, "Ten degrees up here and we cannot unwrap a gift."

That applies to those of us with college degrees and parenting as well. In our house, 4+ degrees, and we still fell back on what we saw our parents do when we were kids for better or worse.

As we seek to teach children to "honor dad and mom," we need to consider how we use our authority to teach them such concepts as "honoring" those in authority. Clear boundaries consistently taught and enforced with logical consequences can yield benefits, and inconsistency can yield a tremendous amount as well, not beneficial though. Paul, not a father, notes this in his follow-up to yesterday's passage used.

Fathers (his emphasis), do not provoke your children to anger. I've never known what caused Cain's contempt for his brother, but it existed. Out of anger he arose and killed Abel. God instructs him not to allow his anger to become his master. “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? 7If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, and you must rule over it.” (Genesis 4:6b-7) Just after this counsel, Cain kills Abel. Why didn't Cain learn to curb his anger? We don't know, but even God attempts to counsel him.

The writer of Hebrews echoes this sentiment: "If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." (Hebrews 12:8-11)

Discipline is more than punishment. It is teaching God's Word and his ways, guiding through example, and reteaching when it presents itself, and then punishing if necessary. Our actions as dads (and moms) will teach "honor" and other critical concepts.

Pray with me; Gracious Father, Guide me as a father in my own right. Teach me your ways of love and grace, even in times of punishing, helping me to see every opportunity as one for teaching honor, obedience, truth and love. In Christ's name, amen.

For further thought: Have you (and your wife) identified the big blocks you want to use to center your children around? By this, I mean things like faith, truth, honor, and others? How do you/did you attempt to teach those to your children? What role does setting an example play in teaching these?

Pray for guidance as you seek to teach your child in God's Word.