What if a better marriage starts not with more work, but with changing the way you think? This week we’re sitting down with author and speaker Ted Lowe to talk about his book Us in Mind and the simple things that separate happy couples from struggling ones. From celebrating small wins to practicing empathy and taking thoughts captive, Ted unpacks practical ways to renew your mind and see your spouse differently. Whether your marriage feels stuck or just needs a little spark, we hope this conversation leaves you encouraged and equipped to do the next right thing.

Episode Recap:

How are great marriages different from struggling marriages? (6:42)

Happy couples think in a way that unhappy couples don’t (8:42)

“Madly in love” couples focus on what they do love about their spouse, not what they don’t (12:00)

What you think about yourself affects how you interact with your spouse (17:08)

Why do celebrations make such a big difference in our marriages? (25:12)

Empathy is huge for happy marriages (30:01)

Two words that changed Ted’s marriage (33:53)

For Christians, our marriages are not just about us (38:44)

Scripture:

Romans 12:2 “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

Philippians 4:8 – “Whatever is true, whatever is noble… think about such things.”

Discussion Questions:

1. How does the way you think about your spouse shape the way you act toward them?

2. Ted talked about “seeing the best” in your spouse. What does that look like in your marriage right now?

3. Why is empathy so powerful in marriage? How could you practice “stepping into the puddle” with your spouse this week?

4. How do you typically respond to your spouse’s successes or joys? What’s one way you can celebrate with them more intentionally?

5. Which of Ted’s practical shifts (empathy, celebration, reframing thoughts, writing notes, pausing in conflict) feels most helpful for your current season of marriage?

6. Marriage is meant to reflect the love of Christ. How does remembering this bigger purpose change the way you approach your relationship?

Resources:

- Pick up a copy of Ted’s book today: https://amzn.to/4nKdkqD

- Connect with Ted: https://forusmarriage.com/

- Check out our Parenting Together curriculum for FREE in the BOAW Moms app: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/birds-on-a-wire-moms/id1419899927

- Download the companion study guide in the BOAW store: boaw.mom/parentingtogether