The Anatomy of Forgiveness - Celebrate Recovery Principle 6

Principle 6: Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.

“Happy are the merciful.” (Matthew 5:6) “Happy are the peacemakers.” (Matthew 5:9)

Step 8: We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” (Luke 6:31)

Step 9: We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23–24)

Scriptures: Luke 15:11-32, 1 John 1:9, Eph 4:25-32, Matthew 18:21-35

Luke 15:11-32 - A story of love, betrayal, repentance, and forgiveness.

Apologies

There's a lot to unpack about apologies but saying sorry and being remorseful for our mistakes is a bedrock component to a long-term healthy relationship.

1 John 1:9 - God requires confession and with that He guarantees forgiveness

Expressing Regret - prodigal son hurting for the hurt caused, accepting responsibility (admitting you were wrong)

Restitution - Zacchaeus, genuine repentance - expressing the desire to change, requesting repentance (asking for forgiveness)

James 5:16 - Confess your faults to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed

Ephesians 4:26 - Do not let the sun go down on your anger

Without an apology, forgiveness cannot be completed and there is no reconciliation.

You can't fully forgive if there is no apology. You can be willing to forgive but unless there is an admittance of guilt and a sincere effort to change forgiveness will not be realized and reconciliation remains in the distance. Forgiveness is in essence a transaction. If you sincerely regret and choose to change I will forgive. You are saying I will not allow this to do permanent damage to the relationship. But I will accept you and work towards healing the hurt and mending the separation.

Forgiveness

Ephesians 4:32 - Forgive as Christ has forgiven

Matthew 18:21-35 - Sometimes forgiveness is very hard because we simply didn't hear the apology as sincere. The second is because we feel like they escape punishment for the damage they caused.

Forgiving 770 Times - Luke 17:4 - Forgiveness is not an event it is a process and way of life

Moving past the Pain - 1 Peter 3:8

The importance of settling differences - Matt 5:23

Trust - Authentic apologies and forgiveness is only the beginning. To re-establish trust there is a process that needs to be taken slowly but surely. The deeper the hurt the slower and longer the process. Be careful to move forward, be honest, and give it a chance.

Reconciliation - The relationship is restored once there is an admittance of guilt and repentance, then forgiveness and at last the relationship is reconciled.

Before closing with communion and prayer, participants will have index cards, and we have them write down answers to.

What is it that I need to Forgive God for?

What is it that I need to Forgive others for?

What do I need to Forgive Myself for?

Then they take the cards and nail them to the cross we will hopefully have set up by the stage and take a communion cup. Return to their seats then close with a prayer of forgiveness.