Day 14 LISTEN UP

BE STILL Spend 2 minutes in stillness and silence with God

SCRIPTURE 19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19-20

DEVOTION

People love to feel seen. I mean really seen. When someone understands our quirks, thought patterns, and unique personalities it creates a completely new level of bonding in the relationship! It opens the door for each party to come as their authentic selves without fear of judgment. Being seen doesn’t mean we have to hold the same opinions as others; it simply means we foster a safe space to be heard no matter the opinion. How can we work on "seeing" others? It's simple - Active listening.

Active listening involves us sending verbal and non-verbal cues to someone to let them know we are paying attention as they speak. It puts us in a position to truly hear our people and understand them. When conflicts come up, active listening is crucial because we spend less time formulating responses in our heads and more time hearing someone else’s thoughts. It also keeps us from jumping to the wrong conclusions, which as a result, keeps us from jumping into anger quickly.

When someone needs to vent, active listening keeps us from trying to one-up the person by sharing a story of our own. In our day-to-day conversations, active listening cultivates engagement that is overall more meaningful.

Below are 5 ways we can implement active listening in our communication with others:

1. Unless asked to, withhold immediately giving advice

2.Repeat back or paraphrase what the person just said to us (e.g. “I’m hearing that you think...”)

3. Listen with our body language – Eye contact, phone down, lean in

4. Ask open-ended questions

5. Avoid interrupting, especially with our own stories

When I think of active listening, I'm reminded of a popular icebreaker out there called The Name Game – have you played it? Everyone gets in a circle and chooses an adjective that starts with the first letter of their name. Then one by one, they introduce themselves by saying the adjective and their name. For example, "Hi, I'm Jolly Jazmin." The trick is that each person must state everyone else’s adjective and name who went before them. This can look like, "That's Amazing Amanda, that's Dancing Destiny, and I'm Jolly Jazmin."

This icebreaker can be easy to play if you’re the second person in the circle, but the tenth?! That’s nine adjectives, new names, and new faces to remember. During this game, there are many pockets of silence as people listen hard and repeat to themselves the adjectives and names of those who shared. All the attention is on others! If people get too focused on their own adjective and name the entire time, they can end up struggling to recall all those people in front of them.

In our own lives, let’s treat our conversations like we are playing The Name Game. Our turn to talk will come, but until then listen hard and listen well!

On a scale of 1 to 10, how are your active listening skills? (1=Eh 10=It's all I do)

Which aspects of active listening would you like to improve on?

PRAY IT OUT

Abba, I feel so blessed to have a loving Father like You. You are El Roi, the God who sees me! Just as You see me and hear me, I want to do the same to those in my life. I want them to feel seen, heard, and loved when they interact with me. I not only care about my own interests but the interests and lives of those around me too. Just as I desire for people to listen to me, I want people to feel like I am a safe space because I truly listen to them.

Your word says that fools take pleasure in only expressing their opinion without trying to understand, and I know that I am no fool! Please help me to work on not giving answers before I hear. I desire to be wise, maintain restraint, and be even-tempered with my lips. Forgive me for the times I have made people feel unseen because I struggled to be an active listener. Holy Spirit, please remind me when I forget to talk less and listen more. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Scripture References

Proverbs 18:2 Proverbs 17:27-28

Philippians 2:4 Proverbs 18:13