Confronting Conflict

Meeting Purpose

To discuss how Christian men can wisely navigate conflicts and temptations using wisdom from the book of Proverbs.

Key Takeaways

1. Conflicts often arise from pride, selfishness, and insecurity; responding with patience and gentleness is key

2. Internal struggles with temptation and unforgiveness require supernatural help to overcome

3. Forgiveness is a heart issue that involves exposing the issue, relinquishing condemnation, and desiring good for the transgressor

4. Practical steps to avoid destructive conflicts include humility, seeking wisdom, compromise, transparency with others, and setting boundaries

Topics

Nature of Conflict

1. Disagreements on important matters often lead to conflict

2. Conflicts arise from selfishness, pride, and desire to have rights validated

3. True battle is spiritual, against "princes and principalities of this present dark age"

4. Pride is a major source of conflict (Proverbs 13:10)

External Responses to Conflict

1. Anger/Defensiveness: "How dare you challenge me?"

2. Proverbs calls this foolish (Prov 29:11)

3. Blessed are peacemakers (Matt 5:9)

4. Argumentation: Need to be right

5. "Way of a fool is right in his own eyes" (Prov 12:15)

6. Prevents learning and acquiring wisdom

7. Lashing out with critical words

8. "Gentle answer turns away wrath" (Prov 15:1)

9. Patience and gentleness more effective (Prov 25:15)

Internal Conflicts

1. Temptation

2. Avoid situations that may lead to sin (Prov 5:8, 4:14-15)

3. Requires supernatural help to overcome

4. Unforgiveness

5. Often stems from pride, selfishness, entitlement

6. Demonstrates we've forgotten God's forgiveness of us

7. Involves exposing the issue, relinquishing condemnation, desiring good for transgressor

Overcoming Conflict

1. Address innermost enemy (the flesh)

2. Humble ourselves before God and others

3. Seek wisdom from Scripture and prayer

4. Be willing to righteously compromise

5. Believe God can provide inner peace

6. Be authentic/transparent with other Christians

7. Use boundaries in difficult relationships

8. Walk the talk of faith

9. Mortify the flesh, pray for humility

10. Trust God to ultimately judge and set things right

Next Steps

1. Pray daily to avoid temptation: "Lead us not into temptation"

2. When conflicts arise, remember who we are in Christ to diminish need to defend ourselves

3. Seek help from other Christian men when struggling with temptation or unforgiveness

4. Set up boundaries to avoid situations that "push your buttons"

5. Practice forgiveness, even for deep hurts, to lift personal burdens