Each week, a member of the Christ Church staff begins our weekly staff meeting with a devotion. This week's contribution by Administrative Assistant for Worship & Liturgy Emily Skinner had us all smiling:

Change is a funny thing. You can deliberately ask for it, make it happen yourself, even prepare for it, but it can also come completely out of your control, without warning, in unimaginable ways. As many of you know, the main thing that has recently changed in my life is becoming a mom.

I am the ultimate overthinker, and just about a year ago, I was searching for signs from God to help in my indecision to pick a name for my baby girl. I began to doubt myself anytime I got close to choosing one. I was overwhelmed by the pressure of the decision and became comfortable in my indecision and continued to stretch it out as long as I could.

It became a game-time decision when we were filling out the birth certificate form two hours after she was born. I looked at her and felt a pull towards the name Shiloh. I had always loved the beauty and uniqueness of the name, but I still hoped it was the “correct” choice, waiting for a sign from the universe, God, anyone, that I was making the right decision. Thankfully, it didn’t take much time for me to fully embrace the name as I got to know my baby Shiloh. And I convinced myself I never needed a tangible or obvious sign from God to choose my daughter’s name. If Cole and I were happy with it and our baby was healthy, nothing else really mattered.

But I believe God has a funny way of telling us things. The day we came home from the hospital, my mom was changing Shiloh’s diaper and said, “It says her name!” I was so confused – was there something on her skin? Something funky in her diaper? What was she talking about? Mom looked up and pointed at the diaper and said it again. Sure enough, printed on the diaper was the name Shiloh. I was stunned! You may already know this, but it was major news to me that day – Pampers have little characters on them, an elephant and a duckling named Shiloh and Freddie, and their pictures and names are printed on most of their diapers.

I know this has nothing directly to do with my Shiloh. Pampers did not name their character after her, but I have never met another Shiloh, and of all the names in the world these two animal characters could have, this discovery felt special to me. To this day, when I pull out a diaper with Shiloh’s name, I pause and smile. This little moment takes me back to the first day we came home from the hospital. I look back at who I was then and who I am now, how much has changed, and how truly thankful I am for this life and this growing chunk of a baby.

I don’t feel wrong in saying that this coincidence was a sign from God. I am not saying that He put the name Shiloh in the brain of the Pampers animal creator and me for this reason, but I do think that God has helped me create this sentimental reminder between the name printed on the diaper and the small human I am raising. I will always be reminded of where we started and where we are headed. It aids in my confidence that I chose the perfect name for my baby and reminds me of the privilege I feel in being her mom, which is so much of what I longed for leading up to her birth. God really does work in mysterious ways!

One of the reasons I fell in love with the name Shiloh was for the meaning attached to it. In Hebrew it translates as “gift from God” or “peaceful one.” About a month after Shiloh was born, my husband, Cole, showed me his daily devotional reading, which that day was focused on scripture about Shiloh. Seeing this unexpected reminder again felt more like a sign than a coincidence, like one of those “God winks” reminding me that He is watching, He knows what He’s doing, has my best interest at heart, and trusts me to believe in Him and His plans.

If you’ve had a child, you know that it takes more than a few days to recover and figure out your new normal. A month in, Cole and I still felt like we were in the trenches with a combination of no sleep and cluelessness. But no matter how lost, confused, or emotional I felt, I knew God was watching over us and our Shiloh and would help us see this phase through. I still feel like I am learning something new about being a mom every day, but I can look back at those early weeks and how fast they flew by. I blinked and my tiny 6-pound baby is now a rolling, babbling, giggly 20 pounder.

Indecision, unknowing change, wonder, and growth all seem to sum up this last year for me. I am proud of the way I can reflect now and feel the growth and newfound confidence I have in myself and my new normal. I begged for clarity on a name and confidence in being a mom in a time that felt so scary and unknowing. I can see so clearly now how God has led and shaped me into the person and mom that I am today.