Jenny Beaumont, Director of Adult Spiritual Formation, offered this outstanding devotion at our weekly staff meeting. I hope you find it as meaningful as we did. - Chip

One of my favorite prayers is the Collect for Purity. It calms and settles my heart. It grounds me.

Almighty God, to whom all hearts are open, all desires known, and from whom no secrets are hidden: cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit, that we may perfectly love you, and worthily magnify your holy name; through Christ our Lord. Amen. (BCP, p.824)

Meditating on that prayer got me thinking about the heart. Our hearts are the center for our emotions, the center for our connection to others. I yearn for connection with others, yet so often, my heart isn’t fully engaged. It isn’t always online. By bringing our heart online, what might our heart tell us? What does our heart have to say to the world?

Are we restless, too ready for the next thing before this one is over? Are we tender, bruised by an early-morning argument? Are we impatient, short-tempered with a too-slow world? Are we fearful, trusting in our own plans and relying on our own sight? Are we annoyed because things don’t go the way we want them to go? Perhaps we deny that everything is anything but fabulous and perfect? Maybe we can’t see the bright side or the silver lining today. Maybe we feel responsible for others’ happiness, success, calmness, or harmony.

A crisis – like the one we are in now – does not create the condition of our heart, but it does reveal it. The things we hide behind become thin and lose their concealing qualities. “Moments generate a tension, a crisis that reveals what is in our hearts,” Pope Francis says. “What is revealed is what needs to change: our lack of internal freedom, the idols we have been serving, the ideologies we have tried to live by, the relationships we have neglected.”

The truth is that whatever fills our heart permeates our life – our relationships, our plans, and even our fears. What is inside of us goes out from us, and draws people to us or propels people away from us.

What is your heart saying? Is it lonely? Is it tired? Is it fearful? The spiritual life is so much about healing our hearts, allowing God to dwell within us – cleansing, patching, and patiently sewing our hearts back together.

Sometimes I cry out, “God, I am not sure I have what is needed. Everyone seems so put together. More tech-savvy. And they have cleaner countertops. Could they be glowing more than usual on Zoom, like they have halos? Did I miss the memo about the halos? Most have better haircuts and a better sense of humor, and definitely more rhythm.”

I ask, “God, what do I have to give?”

My conversation with God continues, “God, I will show up with what you have given me. I will show up with a few Bible verses and a couple of friends. But is that really all I have?”

God whispers, “Give your heart.”

Did I hear that right? “God, you want me to give my heart? What, my life, my journey? But will it be enough? There must be something more spectacular than that.”

I take a deep breath. Pause. Reflect. I do believe that everything is sacred, that everything comes from and is of God. If that is true, then I can trust that “God comes to you disguised as your life,” as Paula D’Arcy says. What a deep-rooted and profound gift. Our lives are the offering to us from God, and our lives are the offering from us to the world.

A prayer for the first week of Advent:

Holy and precious God,

Be with us who have only our hearts to give. Give us the comfort of our torn and worn Bibles and the peace of dwelling with you. Help us to be that non-anxious presence for those we meet today. Remind us that when two or three are gathered, you are there also.

Be with us as we share the essence of you, the essential part of you. Be with us as we remember your son, and learn from Jesus’s time on earth.

Help us accept the heart you have given us – no matter the shape it is in.

Come be with me, and my parched heart; water my heart with hope.

Come be with my heart of control; lead me to be grateful for the cracks that let the light in.

Come be with me and my worn-out heart. Take all of the people I love and care for. Can you worry about them for a little while, God? Give my heart rest.

Come be with me and my heart filled with love. Let me show that love freely, without condition or permission or reserve. Let me love without knowing the cost.

Come be with my heart of generosity; let me feel the joy of abundance. Let me know that all that is needed is here.

Come be with my heart of fear; let me know your security, and let me feel safe with you.

Come be with my heart of rights and wrongs. Give me the assurance that doubts and loves do change the world.

God, come be with all of us. Dwell in our hearts. Heal us. Fill us. Stay with us.

Amen.