Discussion Questions:

1. The Heart Behind the Words

Matthew 12:34, Luke 6:45, Psalm 139:23-24

1a) Communication is not first a technique issue but a heart issue.

1b) When your speech wounds, exaggerates, manipulates, withdraws, or becomes defensive, what might that reveal about what is shaping your heart in that moment?

1c) What do you think tends to influence speech most strongly: pride, desire for approval, comfort, fear, control, ambition, or something else?

1d) How would your communication change if Christ were consciously governing that moment?

2. Grace and Discipline Working Together

1 Timothy 4:7-8, 15, 1 Corinthians 9:27, Philippians 2:12-13

2a) The life of a worshipper of Christ is where God’s gracious provision (a new heart, the Holy Spirit, reconciliation with God, no longer slaves to sin) and the believer’s faithful pursuit (training, discipline, sanctification, perseverance) converge.

2b) In daily life, is there a tendency to drift toward passivity (“God will fix this”) or toward self-reliance (“I just need to try harder”)?

2c) What does Holy Spirit-empowered effort look like in everyday conversations, in your opinion?

3. Clarity Before Speech

1 Corinthians 14:8, Proverbs 15:28, Proverbs 16:23, Proverbs 18:2

Clear speech begins with a settled heart and thoughtful preparation and consideration.

3a) Think of a recent difficult or tense conversation that you’ve had, was there clarity about what was actually being communicated?

3b) Was it clear to you whether the words expressed were a fact, a feeling, an assumption, or a conclusion?

3c) What practical steps could help increase your clarity before speaking?

4. Intentional Listening and Discernment

James 1:19, Proverbs 18:13, Proverbs 20:5

Scripture calls believers to be quick to hear and slow to speak.

4a) When engaged in challenging conversations, are you listening primarily for understanding or for preparing a response?

4b) What fears, insecurities, or desires make it difficult for you to truly listen deeply to whomever is speaking to you?

4c) How might your relationships change if those you speak to consistently felt deeply understood?

5. Living What Is Spoken

James 1:22, Titus 1:16, 1 John 3:18, Philippians 1:27

Credibility in your life grows when your words and actions align.

5a) Are there areas in your life where your speech and your behavior do not fully match?

5b) How do you think serious misalignment between speech and behavior would impact the authority and trust in your relationships?

5c) What would it look like this week to more intentionally align your actions with your spoken convictions? How do you think this would change your week?

6. Owning Words with Humility

Proverbs 12:15, Proverbs 9:8–9, Ephesians 4:29

Wisdom listens to correction and takes responsibility for speech.

6a) When you corrected or misunderstood, what is your first internal reaction: defensiveness, justification, humility, gratitude, or something else?

6b) Why does that reaction surface, do you think?

6c) How might families, friendships, and church unity strengthen if individuals took responsibility for unclear words quickly and humbly?