GRACE FILLED SPEECH, PART 3

The Purity of Speech

Scripture: Ephesians 4:25-32

Series Theme: The Power, Poison, and Purity of Speech

OPENING RECAP

In Part 2, we dealt with the poison of gossip.

Gossip poisons trust, wounds relationships, weakens fellowship, and uses the tongue as a weapon instead of a tool for healing.

In Part 3, Paul broadens the issue and shows us that purity in speech requires more than avoiding gossip.

It requires taking off the garments of the old life and putting on the garments of the new life.

KEY TRUTH

If we have put on the new man in Christ, then our mouths must no longer wear the garments of the old life and must instead be clothed with the grace of the new life.

KEY THOUGHT

What we say reveals what fills our heart.

Matthew 12:34 reminds us: “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.”

Speech is not just a mouth issue. It is a heart issue.

INTRODUCTION QUESTIONS

1. If people repeated what you have said about others, would your words sound like Christ?

2. If people described how you have spoken to them, would they describe grace or harshness?

3. If you were rewarded for every kind word and charged for every unkind one, would you be rich or poor?

MAIN OUTLINE

I. The Garments We Must Take Off

II. The Garments We Must Put On

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I. THE GARMENTS WE MUST TAKE OFF

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1. THE GARMENT OF LYING

Text: Ephesians 4:25

“Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.”

What this means:

Paul begins with lying because falsehood destroys unity.

The body of Christ cannot function in health where truth is absent.

Lying includes more than direct falsehood. It can also include:

- deception

- exaggeration

- half-truths

- misleading impressions

- selective honesty

Why it matters:

- God hates a lying tongue.

- Unity cannot be maintained where dishonesty is practiced.

- Trust dies where truth is absent.

- As members of one body, we owe one another truth.

Life application:

Before I speak, I should ask:

- Is it true?

- Is it complete?

- Is it honest?

- Does it reflect Christ?

Key takeaway:

A grace-filled mouth must be a truthful mouth.

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2. THE GARMENT OF SINFUL ANGER

Text: Ephesians 4:26-27

“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: neither give place to the devil.”

What this means:

There is such a thing as righteous anger, but anger becomes sinful when it is allowed to remain, control us, and shape our speech.

Unresolved anger leaks into tone, attitude, reactions, and conversations.

Warning signs of sinful anger:

- harsh tone

- quick temper

- sharp replies

- unresolved offense

- silent resentment

- unforgiveness

Why it matters:

- Unchecked anger gives place to the devil.

- Anger can turn into bitterness and harsh speech.

- Many relationships are damaged by words spoken in wrath.

Life application:

Ask yourself:

- Am I carrying anger that I have not dealt with?

- Have I allowed irritation to shape my speech?

- Is there someone I need to forgive?

Key takeaway:

If anger is controlling my speech, that garment must come off.

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3. THE GARMENT OF STEALING

Text: Ephesians 4:28

“Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.”

What this means:

The old life takes. The new life gives.

The old man is selfish and grasping. The new man is productive, generous, and useful.

Paul shows that salvation changes how we live, work, and treat others.

Connection to speech:

Selfish living is often supported by selfish reasoning and selfish words.

People often justify wrong behavior with wrong thinking and wrong speech.

Why it matters:

- A thief takes for self.

- A believer works so he can be a blessing.

- The gospel changes us from takers into givers.

Life application:

Ask:

- Do I live to get, or do I live to give?

- Am I faithful in my work?

- Do my attitudes and words reflect generosity or selfishness?

Key takeaway:

The new man is not marked by taking, but by giving.

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4. THE GARMENT OF CORRUPT SPEECH

Text: Ephesians 4:29

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

What this means:

Corrupt speech is rotten speech.

It tears down instead of building up.

It may not always sound vulgar, but it is still destructive.

Examples of corrupt speech:

- gossip

- slander

- harshness

- cutting sarcasm

- verbal cruelty

- careless words

- humiliating humor

- unnecessary criticism

What our speech should do instead:

- edify

- strengthen

- encourage

- help

- fit the need of the moment

- minister grace to the hearers

Speech filter:

Before I say it, I should ask:

- Does this build up?

- Does this help?

- Does this show grace?

- Would Jesus be pleased with these words?

Key takeaway:

It is not enough to stop speaking wrongly. We must learn to speak redemptively.

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5. THE GARMENT OF SPIRIT-GRIEVING CONDUCT

Text: Ephesians 4:30

“And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.”

What this means:

Our speech and conduct do not only affect people; they affect our fellowship with the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit is the One who indwells, seals, and sanctifies the believer.

When we persist in conduct and conversation that oppose the character of Christ, we grieve Him.

Why it matters:

- This is not merely a personality issue.

- This is not “just how I am.”

- This is a spiritual matter.

- The Spirit takes seriously how we speak and live.

Life application:

Ask:

- Have my words pleased the Holy Spirit?

- Have my reactions reflected Christ?

- Am I grieving the Spirit by how I talk to people?

Key takeaway:

Sinful speech is not small when the Holy Spirit lives within us.

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6. THE GARMENT OF BITTERNESS AND UNKINDNESS

Text: Ephesians 4:31

“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.”

What this means:

Paul gathers several destructive attitudes and expressions into one final garment.

Bitterness is a sour spirit.

Wrath is explosive rage.

Anger is a heated disposition.

Clamour is loud contention.

Evil speaking is injurious speech.

Malice is the desire to wound.

Why it matters:

- Bitterness in the heart eventually becomes unkindness in the mouth.

- A bitter spirit produces a biting tongue.

- These things do not fit a believer.

Life application:

Ask:

- Am I carrying a settled offense?

- Have I become sharp, cold, or harsh?

- Do my words reveal an unhealed heart?

Key takeaway:

Bitterness and unkindness belong to the old life and must be put away.

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II. THE GARMENTS WE MUST PUT ON

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1. THE GARMENT OF KINDNESS

Text: Ephesians 4:32a

“And be ye kind one to another...”

What this means:

Kindness is more than politeness.

It is a Christlike disposition that seeks the good of others.

Kindness shows up in:

- tone

- patience

- gentleness

- timing

- restraint

- consideration

What kindness does:

- does not weaponize truth

- does not enjoy hurting others

- does not look for ways to embarrass people

- does not use words to leave bruises

Life application:

Ask:

- Is my speech marked by gentleness?

- Do people feel helped after talking with me?

- Does my tone reflect the kindness of Christ?

Key takeaway:

There are enough harsh voices in the world. The church should not be one more of them.

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2. THE GARMENT OF TENDERHEARTEDNESS

Text: Ephesians 4:32a

“...tenderhearted...”

What this means:

Tenderheartedness is compassion.

It is softness without weakness.

It is the ability to feel with others and respond with mercy instead of indifference.

What tenderhearted speech looks like:

- listening before speaking

- answering gently

- being patient with people’s pain

- showing compassion instead of criticism

- remembering that everyone is carrying something

Life application:

Ask:

- Have I become hard in my spirit?

- Do I show compassion with my words?

- Do I rush to judge, or do I pause to understand?

Key takeaway:

A tender heart changes the way we speak.

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3. THE GARMENT OF FORGIVENESS

Text: Ephesians 4:32b

“...forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

What this means:

Forgiveness is rooted in the gospel.

We forgive not because people deserve it, but because we have been forgiven in Christ.

The cross is both our model and our motive.

Why it matters:

- Unforgiveness keeps yesterday’s pain alive in today’s speech.

- Forgiveness loosens the grip of bitterness.

- Grace received should become grace extended.

Life application:

Ask:

- Is there someone I still need to forgive?

- Have I been speaking out of unresolved hurt?

- Am I holding on to what God is calling me to release?

Key takeaway:

When forgiveness clothes the believer, bitterness begins to lose its voice.

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ILLUSTRATION

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Illustration:

If water runs through an old rusty pipe, the first flow may come out discolored. Not because the water is dirty, but because the pipe has been carrying the residue of what has been there for years. But if clean water keeps running, eventually the rust is flushed out, the stain is removed, and what comes through begins to show the purity of the source. That is how sanctification works in the believer’s speech. When Christ begins to reign in the heart, He starts flushing out old anger, old bitterness, old corruption, and old ways of talking. And after a while, what comes out of you starts reflecting who is living in you.

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CONCLUSION

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Paul’s message is clear:

The old man and the new man do not dress alike.

The old life wears:

- lying

- sinful anger

- stealing

- corrupt speech

- Spirit-grieving conduct

- bitterness and unkindness

The new life wears:

- kindness

- tenderheartedness

- forgiveness

Closing challenge:

What are your words wearing?

The answer is not merely to talk less. The answer is to be changed more.

When Christ fills the heart, grace fills the mouth.

Truth replaces falsehood.

Peace replaces rage.

Edification replaces corruption.

Kindness replaces cruelty.

Forgiveness replaces bitterness.

FINAL APPLICATION QUESTIONS

1. What garment do I need to take off?

2. What garment do I need to put on?

3. Do my words build up or tear down?

4. Do my words minister grace?

5. Does my speech reflect the old man or the new man?

6. Do my words look more like Jesus?

MEMORY VERSES

Ephesians 4:29

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

Colossians 4:6

“Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt...”

Matthew 12:34

“Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.”

ALTAR RESPONSE

Lord, take off what does not belong.

Lord, put in me what looks like You.

Lord, let my words minister grace.

Lord, make my speech look more like Jesus.