In 2004, President George W. Bush nominated J. Leon Holmes to serve on the federal district court of

Arkansas. Holmes became a controversial nominee when it was discovered that in 1997 he coauthored an

article with his wife in the Arkansas Catholic Review in which they wrote, “The wife is to subordinate herself to

the husband . . . the woman is to place herself under the authority of the man.” Holmes claimed that the words

were taken out of context. Senator Dianne Feinstein opposed Holmes’s nomination, asking, “How can I or any

other American believe that one who truly believes a woman is subordinate to her spouse [can] interpret the

Constitution fairly?” Republican senators Susan Collins, Lisa Murkowski, and Kay Bailey Hutchinson also

demurred, arguing that Holmes did not have a “fundamental commitment to the equality of women in our

society.” Although Holmes was eventually confirmed by the Senate 51–46, the objections raised by the Senate

in the early 2000s are, no doubt, even more wide-spread today.

The church has always been at war with the world, but there seems to be a sense of reluctance within the

Christian community to engage in discussions about sex and gender, possibly due to embarrassment over

outdated beliefs. When considering these topics, we typically consider culture, biology, and human history.

The mention of Ephesians 5 often elicits discomfort, as it brings to mind the historical oppression of women in

traditional gender roles where wives subjugate themselves to their husbands' needs and husbands assert

dominance. However, it is important to note that Paul does not prioritize the husband's needs over the wife's,

suggest that women are less capable leaders than men, or discourage women from pursuing careers outside

the home.

If Jesus' message holds true, nobody can approach the table with entitlements. The only way to gain entry is

by humbling ourselves completely. Regardless of gender, if we cling to our desire for personal control, we are

unable to embrace Jesus because he demands our full submission. While Christians are indeed required to

make sacrifices in response to Christ, our main duty is to acknowledge and accept his sacrifice on our behalf.

As our lives are transformed by Jesus Christ, our marriages are as well. Even when we fail, the grace of Jesus

gives us a place to RESTART.