Challenge #9: Love Who We Want?

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Challenge #9: Love Who We Want?

"We should have the freedom to love who we want."

This sentiment reflects a common misconception: Same-sex marriage will secure new liberties for homosexuals that have eluded them thus far. This will not happen because no personal liberty is being denied them.

Same-sex couples can already do everything married people do. They can express love, have weddings, set up housekeeping, share home ownership, have sex, commingle property, receive inheritance, and spend their lives together.

Same-sex marriage grants no new freedom and restricts no liberty. Nothing stops anyone - of any age, race, gender, class, or sexual preference - from making lifelong loving commitments to each other, even ’til death do them part.

Legislating Approval

Ultimately, same-sex marriage is not about civil rights. It's about validation and social approval. It is a radical attempt at civil engineering using government muscle to strong-arm people into accommodating a lifestyle many find deeply offensive, contrary to nature, socially destructive, and morally repugnant. Even so, homosexuality is broadly tolerated in this country. Though not universally approved of, homosexuals have the liberty to live as they choose without fear of reprisal. This is all anyone has a right to demand.

The Policy Issue

Rhetorical Considerations: First, the issue in question is same-sex marriage, not gay marriage. The difference is critical rhetorically, even if the same people are in view. With regards to the policy issue, the government does not care about sexual preference; it cares about gender. Homosexual individuals can already get married, as we'll see. Describing it as "gay marriage" gives the impression that the animus is against the sexual preference rather than a concern about the genders involved. Second, there is no "ban" on same-sex marriage; there simply is no legal provision for it. The use of "banning" terminology is imprecise and misleadingly casts homosexuals as victims singled out for exclusion. The state is not hostile to same-sex relationships, but neither does it promote them because it has no reason to do so. Finally, let no one get away with simple name-calling in responding to this issue. This guide raises principled objections to same-sex marriage that are in no way related to bigotry, narrow-mindedness, arrogance, or intolerance. Responding with an ad hominem attack is not just bad manners, it's bad thinking. Bigotry, intolerance, and narrow-mindedness have no bearing on whether adopting same-sex marriage in our culture is a good idea as a policy concern.

The Meaning of Marriage

Marriage is not defined; it is described. Marriage is not invented by man, rather it is rooted in nature and a fixed feature of the natural order. Marriage relationships produce the next generation. Families consisting of a father and a mother are building blocks of society. This description has dictated the structure of every civilization from the beginning of time. Thus, changing language or laws doesn't change reality. Same-sex marriage never occurred until now because it was a contradiction in terms. Such unions would not be marriages even if declared so because nature decrees otherwise. Marriage licenses don't create marriages, they simply "map over" the natural institution already there from the beginning. Governments don't create marriages, so they can't ultimately redefine them. Governments can only cause damage by interfering with marriage instead of cooperating with its natural purpose.