005. What a Man Wants the Most From a Woman

Jonathan Cain

April 26, 2020 • Jonathan Cain

Jonathan Cain shares about relationships and marriage. God never designed a man to meet all the emotional needs of a woman. He's supposed to meet some of them, but there's probably not a man on planet Earth who is wired to meet all the emotional needs of a woman. So what is it that men really want?

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Machine transcription:
Hello, this is Jonathan Cain with my podcast "Anchored", where I share my ideas of faith family, marriage and manhood. Today, I'd like to share with you a little research I found online, and it's what a man wants the most from a woman. And some of you ladies might be surprised to find what the answer is. To begin with men and women want different things. Some of you might remember the book by john gray. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. I read that book and was fascinated between the differences of men and women and our wants and desires. For instance, if you ask a woman to describe their ideal man, many will describe a man who loves to chat and open up and want someone to enjoys the details of life. Someone remembers all the little things that are important. Someone that would rather share with them about the day then stare at the TV all night. And short women describe their favorite girlfriend. Sorry ladies, but we men would make terrible girlfriends. We didn't like to talk open up. We forget the little things and staring at a flashy boob tube is often more appealing than sharing minor details of the day but don't take it personally. We don't really want to share with anyone. Men do not share. we conquer, we protect, we compete. We work, we insult, we make disgusting noises. Leave the toilet seat up and generally do not share. You can train us to share but it just doesn't come natural for us. Here's another thing men don't want. They don't want to work in their marriages. Why? Because most men like the marriages the way they are. A survey taken by the Chicago Sun Times showed 2300 men said they would remarry their wives. In another survey by Women's Day men more asked how They felt about their husbands. Only half of the women who wrote into the magazine said they would marry their current husbands if given the chance to do it all over again. Most of the time it is the women who are upset with the whole marriage idea. They say 80% of all divorces are filed by women. It is usually the woman who seeks out marriage counseling. Women of our day are the ones frustrated. It is the woman who always seems to have her heart broken. It is a woman who is most disappointed. And now I believe women of the 21st century have completely unrealistic expectations. When it comes to living with and dealing with men. Sometimes it seems like women are in a romantic fantasy thinking that when they enter into marriage with the expectation that a man will meet all the emotional needs of her heart. But see, God never designed a man to meet all the emotional needs of a woman. He's supposed to meet some of them, but there's probably not a man on planet Earth. Who is wired to meet all the emotional needs of a woman. So what is it that men really want? In one word, ladies, men want respect. That means a man wants to be held in esteem, shown consideration and appreciation, even when he makes mistakes. He wants to be seen as some kind of hero especially in the eyes of his bride. It needs someone to believe in Him when the odds are against him. For man doesn't feel respected. He's destined to act in a reminiscent obnoxious way. I can't get no respect Rodney Dangerfield, he becomes insulting, Boogie eyed and gross. Interestingly enough, the song respect sung by Aretha Franklin back in the 60s was written by a man. a solo artist called Otis Redding. Many of you remember Otis Redding from the song dock of the bay. Well, a brief of Franklin made respect to hit, but it came from the heart of a man Oh, this reading Thank you, Otis. You know, it's funny because men don't believe they need to earn respect. They feel it's owed to them. And women don't understand it. And that may sound sexist, but it really isn't. What I'm saying is men need to be respected for who they are, and not for what they do. If they don't feel respected, they feel like they can't survive. It gets harder and harder for them. They feel trapped. So it's so important for a woman to learn to give her man unconditional respect. It seems women are hung up on the idea of men being worthy of respect. And when they do show it It might be disingenuous. And so she goes into this I had better correct the situation mode believes she can respect your man only if she can get him to act responsible. But that's not how it works. Ladies, respect is too great a need for a man to have it come and go based on performance. If a woman will learn to risk Respecting her man when he's not perfect. He'll probably open his heart to her and be ready for change. And I can personally testify here then marrying the love of my life Paula white cane, promote a true change in my heart. You see, she spoke to the king in me and listened and heard me heard my voice let me be me accepted me for who I was. Now here's a song from the more like Jesus album. Better man. You spoke to my trouble Ha. spoke to the king me to Marlboro. Man, man, so can you feel my joy to last all time showed me And what was missing in my life because of lifting me. God is on my side. In First Peter three, verses one through six, it says likewise wives be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, that they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see a respectful and pure conduct, most women generally don't have an idea how much influence they have on their man. The Book of Proverbs says the wise woman builds her house, but a disgraceful wife. It's like the K in his bones. A wife is either building up or tearing down your husband. A lot of women probably don't know this or aren't aware, but most men are unsure of themselves. In a recent survey, 75% of men admitted they felt like an imposter. Many spent entire lives fighting the voices in their head. They constantly shout, you really know what you are doing. It's a matter of time before everyone discovers you're a phony. A man's home should be the one place in his life where the voices of criticism are silenced. Where he is shared. He's a wonderful and competent person. The ultimate ego boost of a man's life is when his wife willingly and enthusiastically makes love to him. As opposed to lying there counting ceiling tiles and asking Are you done yet? Sadly for millions of men, this is not the case and their homes are places where voices of criticism are louder, not silenced. I had a friend say one time and an award banquet. Everyone thinks you're so great, but I know what an idiot you are women frequently making the mistake of assaulting their husbands and attempt to get change. These criticisms and rejections create anger and frustration inside of a man. The result will only make him disconnected and unemotional. You see ladies these rejections and insults. They may work on women, but it definitely pushes a man away. insulting a man will only end up robbing you of his true self. And you won't see the changes that you want in your relationship. So don't ignore your man's need for respect when you disrespect your man by being unappreciative, ridiculing and discounting it will hurt him. And he's if you want a man to act differently in that relationship, you're going to have to put the insults away and learn unconditional respect. You know if there was anyone who had the right to disrespect a man, based on his performance it be God. God is aware of every flaw and man's character and yet look at how God deals with men through the Bible. Abraham was so cowardly that he denied Sarah was his wife, so that King would not kill him in order to get her. Yet God did not respond to the obvious coward nature. He looked deep within and saw a man of faith, even though a broom was not able to have a child at the time. God called Abraham Abraham, meaning father of the multitude. You see, God gave Abraham the respect due to a father The patriarchy long before he became one. The Lord called Gideon, a mighty man of valor, despite the fact that at the time, Gideon was really a coward and was hiding so no one can hurt him. But God looked inside Gideon saw what he was really made of and treated him with respect to a great warrior long before he was worthy of such honor. And Gideon went out to achieve one of the most lopsided military victories of history. And finally, look at Simon, the guy was flip flopping, not sure of himself. Roman the heat is on kind of guy. This is the one who told Jesus he would willingly die with him yet fled when Jesus was arrested, and three times denied that even knew Jesus. But when Jesus first met him, he said, Simon, from now on you will be called Peter the rock. And sure enough, Peter went on to be bold, compelling witness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. You see, God knows that the key to unlocking the potential in a man is the treat him with. The key to unlocking of potential in a man is the treat him with unconditional respect long before he deserves it. So ladies, just find the gratitude and the grateful. Stay in the Grateful and respect your man unconditionally. I hope this podcast Bless you, inspired you and I'll see you next time. I'm Jonathan Cain my podcast "Anchored"