You cannot believe that God died to rescue you from wrath for sins without living a life to be free from sins. You also cannot live a life free of sins without believing that Jesus is Lord. It doesn’t compute. If you believe in Jesus, you follow him in the way he lived. If you don’t believe in Jesus, you do whatever you think is right in your own eyes.
I want this to unsettle the way you think about Christianity. Too many people become Christians because they want Jesus to help them live their life better.