In our modern day and time, it is very easy to be a family without really being connected to and intimate with each other. Doing communion the way God intended it, can turn this trend around completely. In essence family is about communion and communion is all about the cross and the relational restoration Jesus achieved not only between the Father and us but also between the people we live with and us.
Communion done right, confronts us with the state of our own lives. It prompts us to consider and take responsibility for the things we have done that could hurt those close to us. Within the confines of the family communion provides for a secure, non-judgmental space within which we can safely ask for and obtain forgiveness and so forge transparent, authentic relationships built on intimacy and trust. When we do this prayerfully before the Lord, the Holy Spirit is faithful to convict us of sin and righteousness so that we not only acknowledge where we’ve gone wrong but also change on a heart level due to receiving and responding to the Word.In so doing, we learn to stop looking towards others to change and instead allow the Lord to change us where necessary.
Communion demands a lifestyle of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a key element in the make-up of any healthy family since it promotes honesty without fear of being punished for mistakes made. In order to have healthy family relations it is crucial to create a platform for honest, open communication where the true state of things can be freely discussed. Where parents fail to listen with undivided attention, children stop communicating and family relations as a whole start disintegrating. The Bible provides us with a few very important directives when it comes family life the way God intended it:
• Don’t expect perfection (Colossians 3:21; Psalm 127:3): Just as there are no perfect parents, there are also no perfect children. In order to provide our children with the instruction they need to successfully live we have to meet them where they are at. Without knowing the exact state of their lives, the challenges they are facing, the mistakes they are making, this is impossible. The demand we place cannot be such that it discourages them. Making mistakes is an inevitable and even necessary part of learning and growing up. As parents we should afford our children the opportunity to make their own mistakes without judging them for it. Family should be a place where gracious understanding is prevalent, where we celebrate the success and help with challenges and failures.
• Listen with undivided attention (Proverbs 1:5): In the absence of a safe space to speak, children will fail to communicate the true state of their lives. As a result parents will not be able to provide relevant, and vitally important instruction for them to successfully conquer the challenges they face. The cross, as celebrated through communion, provides this safe space. At the cross we can be brutally honest and real about who we are and where we’ve failed without being scared of humiliation or punishment.
• Train children (Ephesians 6:4; Proverbs 22:6):Training children speaks of giving them the understanding necessary to successfully negotiate the challenges and choices they will have to make in order to live meaningful lives. The goal of our instruction should always be to equip our children to independently make the correct decisions even when nobody is watching. Although verbal instruction is very important in this process, the example we set speaks far louder and plays a vastly more determining role in the truths our children ultimately internalize. More than verbal instruction, our parental training should be a consistent investing of our lives.
• Pray (Psalm 55:17; 1 Chronicles 16:11): When we pray, the Lord gives us accurate guidance as to how exactly to help each individual child. It is in our time with the Lord, that we receive personal, applied revelation of the Word that can change and transform us.
Determine this week to make regular, authentic communion (1 Corinthians 11:23-27) part of your family’s life. Set the stage for true intimacy by teaching and living a life of honest self-examination, true repentance and lasting change, a life that reflects Christ in all His fullness rather than just a set of empty, religious sentiments…
Part 1 - Authentic Family
Bert Pretorius
September 13, 2015
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