Pursuing Wisdom in a Digital Age - Technology and the Christian Life

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Pursuing Wisdom in a Digital Age - Technology and the Christian Life

May 7, 2023 • Andrey Bulanov

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Outline:

1. Wisdom is the ability to use and apply the truth that you receive.

2. Wisdom rejects pride and entitlement and embraces humility.

3. Wisdom rejects passive consumption and actively seeks God and his ways in all of life.

- Question your cravings

- Direct your attention to a deeper hunger in your soul

- Be intentional about your content for the sake of deeper satisfaction and joy.

4. Wisdom chooses to slow down.

Scripture References:

- Prov. 4:5-7, 23

- Hosea 4:6

- Isaiah 8:20-22

- 2 Timothy 4:3

- Proverbs 16:16

Application Questions:

- Is your life marked by a genuine and consistent pursuit of wisdom?

- Is your constant craving for entertainment deteriorating your ability know God and his ways in life?

- Does the cross of Christ prompt you to slow down and take in the beauty of his finished work and his constant presence in your life?

Discussion question:

- what is wisdom? Why does it seem that wisdom is not valued very much today as something to be pursued?

- How serious is the need to pursue wisdom? What are the results of those who do not pursuit wisdom?

- what are the ways that our digital age deteriorates wisdom?

- How do we cultivate habits that enable us to pursue wisdom?

- Why are we bored with God's Word?

- How do we change our cravings? How do we learn to crave deeper joy and knowledge in life?

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Prov. 4

Get wisdom, get understanding;

don’t forget or turn away from the words from my mouth.

6 Don’t abandon wisdom, and she will watch over you;

love her, and she will guard you.

7 Wisdom is supreme—so get wisdom.

And whatever else you get, get understanding.23 Guard your heart above all else,

for it is the source of life.

Hosea 4:6

My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.

Because you have rejected knowledge,

I will reject you from serving as my priest.

Since you have forgotten the law of your God,

I will also forget your sons.

Isaiah 8

20 Go to God’s instruction and testimony! If they do not speak according to this word, there will be no dawn for them.

21 They will wander through the land, dejected and hungry. When they are famished, they will become enraged, and, looking upward, will curse their king and their God. 22 They will look toward the earth and see only distress, darkness, and the gloom of affliction, and they will be driven into thick darkness.

This week we are starting a series of sermons on technology that will continue until the first week of June.

Next week we will focus on mothers day and then the following week we will come back to our topic once again.

When we speak of technology I am mainly referring to the types of technology that have a screen. TVs phones and computers are the types of technology that have the most obvious and powerful effect on our hearts and minds - and these are the forms of technology that are growing at unbelievably rapid rates.

Some folks may think, "I don't have any social media accounts, and I don't watch much TV at all, so this really is not for me."

This is a mistake. Even if you are a person who considers themselves to have a minimal use of digital technology of any kind - you are surrounded by a world that is submerged in it.

The way I've chosen to break this down is to focus on the specific aspects of our hearts and minds that technology most powerfully impacts.

- Entertainment and wisdom

- Relationship and human connection

- Hard work and laziness

- Identity and calling

When we think about the REASON why a screen is so powerful - we inevitably start with the concept of entertainment.

Why is it that the screen is so powerful in its ability to pull in and keep a hold on our attention?

Because we have a craving to be wowed and entertained.

And our age has perfected the art and science of entertaining us so powerfully that we can't resist it.

This idea is explored in a novel written in 1996 titled Infinite Jest. The story is a complicated comedy that makes fun and questions the American obsession with entertainment.

A man who is driven by his desire to be the best film maker ever, creates a video that is so entertaining that anyone who watches it, can't stop watching it ever again and goes crazy if you take it away.

The video tape then becomes a massive threat to society, and something that Canadian terrorists try to use to destroy America.

The author raises up a point that has been raised by many others - that the greatest danger to the world today is not bombs or bullets but the power of screens to entertain us and take control of our hearts and minds.

This began in the 1980's when TV broadcasters realized that they can get a LOT more viewers if they didn't just give people the news - but gave them the most shocking and attention grabbing headlines - from there on - EVERYTHING on TV - News, shows, movies, talk shows, even TV PREACHERS - became more and more about entertainment.

the more powerfully you can grab peoples attention - the more MONEY you will make from them.

That is really the bottom line.

this was all expanded infinitely when the smartphone arrived where now the leap is made from the TV to your pockets.

From here on out, almost every single feature on the smartphone - from news, to instagram, to ticktock to twitter - is working POWERFULLY to grab and hold your attention as long as possible.

Why is this of such critical importance to us today?

Whatever holds your attention - defines your identity - reshapes your heart and determines your whole life.

this is why Solomon tells us in proverbs

"Guard your heart above ALL ELSE, for it is the source of life..."

As Solomon is thinking about all the things that grab at your heart and at your attention - he is also saying - at the end of the day there are only two directions that your heart - you are either pursuing and growing in wisdom - or you are growing in foolishness.

For Solomon, this is the dividing line for everything.

One of the greatest threats of a digital culture is not just that it wastes our time or makes us lazy - it is that it deteriorates our hearts and minds away from wisdom, making us spiritually shallow and weak.

Because as we become a culture of constant consumption of media and entertainment we become a culture that moves further and further away from wisdom and depth.

Wisdom is one of the greatest things lacking in our day, even though we have more information and knowledge than any age ever before. And in Scripture, wisdom is one of the most important things that we are to pursue.

So how do we pursue wisdom in a digital age?

1. Wisdom is the ability to use and apply the truth that you receive.

Why is Solomon so obsessed with wisdom?

Because wisdom is not just about WHAT you know - its about HOW you know it.

Wisdom is the ability to use and apply the truth that you receive.

"Wisdom is knowing what to do with knowledge gained through various means of education: how to apply knowledge and information in everyday life; how to discern if something is true or not; how to live well in light of truth gained. Wisdom is not merely knowing the right answers. It’s about living rightly."

McCracken, Brett. The Wisdom Pyramid (p. 66). Crossway. Kindle Edition.

There are many intelligent people in the world who's lives are in ruins - they are foolish and sad people.

WHY?

Because simply being intelligent and talented and wealthy does not mean you know how to live and how to be happy.

One of the reasons why we struggle with the idea of wisdom or maybe find it boring or not interesting is because we don't really understand what it is.

We think as long as I get everything I want - I will be happy. (an idea that someone on a screen probably taught us)

LIFE IS NOT THAT SIMPLE

If everyone in this room instantly got everything we want right now - most of us would likely end up sad, alone, mentally unstable or addicted to something - miserable.

Most of us already know what is most important in life - God, loving people, serving, not being selfish, working hard, etc

But how many of us are living lives of perfect balanced joy and goodness?

A lot of the messes we create we create because we are pursuing good things - health, family, work - even ministry.

But we are constantly falling into foolish extremes and imbalance that create new problems in our lives.

Solomon says "LISTEN TO ME - the most important thing you need is wisdom - this is when the Holy Spirit is taking the truth of God and working it through various sources into your heart - that its not just stuck in mere knowledge - its transforming your inner heart - its changing how you think, its teaching you to make the right decisions, to see the dangers, to avoid evil..."

Wisdom has to do with the quality, the condition of our hearts and minds.

"above all pursue wisdom, and guard your heart and mind..."

How?

2. Wisdom rejects pride and entitlement and embraces humility.

Proverbs 9:10

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding."

Proverbs 16:18

Pride comes before destruction, and an arrogant spirit before a fall.

Everything starts with understanding how little we are before God and how desperately we need wisdom.

You will only have this humility when you understand that pursuing wisdom and fearing God and learning to structure your life properly is a VERY SERIOUS issue in your life.

Wether we realize it or not, our digital age disciples and teaches in the opposite direction - we are the main audience AND we are the main character.

We are the main audience, with the click of a button or a swipe on to the next video we have the power and the right to as much as we want.

Social media teaches us that WE are the main character and WE are on the center stage of our lives - we are entitled to what we want and no one can stop me.

In an article from the New Yorker is titled "We all have main character energy now" the author writes -

"As a TikToker put it recently, “Why does only buying the groceries I need for 2-3 days make me feel like the main character in an Italian summer memoir[?]” In the video, a woman carries a tote bag full of basil down a sunlit sidewalk, to a soundtrack from the lambent Italian-summer film “Call Me By Your Name.” “TikTok and social media has made it more attainable for you to write your own story,” Yasmine Sahid, a twenty-four-year-old actor and TikTok creator who began making her own main-character videos last August, told me. “You can kind of cast yourself in these mini-movies.”"(1)

Everyone is making a "get ready for work with me" video

Everyone wants to go to the gym so they can make videos of themselves lifting weights.

We laugh and think - its so stupid!

"Well I don't make those stupid videos I never even post them..."

But we FEED this impulse by making the decision to keep scrolling and keep clicking and keep watching - it feels good and it makes us feel in control.

We talk about the struggle with self control - where does self control start?

Humility - I am not my own.

This life belongs to the Lord. If I just run it in my own way I will end up a miserable wreck.

Humility makes you shift your attention.

"my son, PAY ATTENTION TO MY WORDS..."

Humility understands that the world is complex - the digital age makes us foolishly confident in our ideas about the world. Not every conspiracy theory is true and just because you watched a documentary on youtube does not make you an expert - real knowledge and real wisdom is slow coming

One of the top struggles pastors are sharing today is that their churches are dividing over very confident opinions about ideas they learned online. There is a new confidence that WE KNOW what others don't know.

Humility makes us understand that real knowledge takes time, wisdom is slow coming. I need to be careful with my opinions.

3. Wisdom rejects passive consumption and actively seeks God and his ways in all of life.

Wisdom cannot ever be achieved passively - it requires our whole being. Why? Because wisdom is about knowing God and his ways. Its part of an active relationship you have with God.

Proverbs 9:10

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding."

Prov. 4:7

7 Wisdom is supreme—so get wisdom.

And whatever else you get, get understanding.

From the very beginning we are created as human beings to live in a personal connection with our God - God walked with Adam and Eve "in the cool of the evening breeze" - and their ability to know life flowed out of this active relationship.

Wisdom is about actively pursuing God and discovering all this ways in life - his ways are high, they are complex, they are beautiful.

This is what makes life always new and exciting.

The world of constant stimulating content works in the completely opposite direction. This is very powerfully demonstrated in an experiment in the 1950's.

"In the 1950s, the psychologists James Olds and Peter Milner modified the chamber so that a lever press would deliver direct brain stimulation through deep implanted electrodes. What resulted was perhaps the most dramatic experiment in the history of behavioral neuroscience: Rats would press the lever as many as 7,000 times per hour to stimulate their brains. This was a pleasure center, a reward circuit, the activation of which was much more powerful than any natural stimulus.

A series of subsequent experiments revealed that rats preferred pleasure circuit stimulation to food (even when they were hungry) and water (even when they were thirsty). Self-stimulating male rats would ignore a female in heat and would repeatedly cross foot-shock-delivering floor grids to reach the lever. Female rats would abandon their newborn nursing pups to continually press the lever. Some rats would self-stimulate as often as 2000 times per hour for 24 hours, to the exclusion of all other activities. They had to be unhooked from the apparatus to prevent death by self-starvation. Pressing that lever became their entire world."(2)

These stories are crazy fascinating and many of us CLEARLY see the correlation with human behavior and technology.

Example - how many homes are full of trash, living in poverty - but have a super expensive TV and the latest phone?

The technologies around us feed on the human desire for pleasure and entertainment and give us the pleasure button in our pockets. This is why its so hard.

The average US ADULT spends 2.5 hrs on TV and 2.5 hrs on social media.

How is that even possible?? Its a fact though. We are becoming a culture that ALWAYS NEEDS a little dose of entertainment.

You may think, well that does not apply to me. First of all, check your screen time reports before you say that too confinement. But second of all, even if you don't spend a lot of time in this - realize that the people around you at church and in the world DO.

One of the reasons this is done so well is the algorithms behind every digital content we digest.

The algorithms that serve us our endless feeds of videos and content know us better than we know ourselves.

Added to this is the powerful pull of FOMO - fear of missing out - I NEED to keep up and I NEED to know what everyone is up to!!

Think about it. You scroll or binge the series - you need you need you need - but then you feel so sick and shallow and gross.

It's crazy how we can follow our cravings even though it makes us miserable.

Isaiah 8

20 Go to God’s instruction and testimony! If they do not speak according to this word, there will be no dawn for them.

Wisdom rejects passive consumption. Wisdom is active.

- Question your cravings

Wisdom starts with questioning the craving for more consumption.

Its begins with the realization, "this really isn't making me a deeper and more satisfied person. It actually makes me more miserable."

- Direct your attention to a deeper hunger in your soul

Deep down we are all wired to know and love God in all of life. Deep down we are all created to discover the beauty and complexity of God's purposes and plans.

"blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they shall be satisfied"

We are created to know God and his ways. We are created for depth and complexity.

Did you know that your CRAVINGS can change - that you can crave and desire things that are deeper and more satisfying?

The more we intentionally seek God and his wisdom in our lives - the more our cravings are transformed. This is the freedom of discipline - that you learn to delight and desire the things that are good for your soul.

At the end of the day, raw discipline WILL NOT WORK - if you constantly crave junk, you will return to junk.

Example about people quitting alcohol for health reasons.

- Be intentional about your content for the sake of deeper satisfaction and joy.

Its not wrong to enjoy a good movie or show, or even to spend some time watching funny videos. The problem is our lack of intentionally. We become mindless passive consumers who are always responding to our impulse for pleasure and distraction RATHER THAN present, alive human beings who are seeking after the good and the beautiful.

Entertainment is a gift that can be SO HELPFUL in our stressful lives! But we need to think about what we consume and why?

Are you choosing content that is merely entertaining you all the time or are you choosing content that is deepening you in a healthy way?

Wisdom is about actively pursuing God and discovering all this ways in life - his ways are high, they are complex, they are beautiful. This is what makes life always new and exciting.

4. Wisdom chooses to slow down.

Psalm 131

1 Lord, my heart is not proud;

my eyes are not haughty.

I do not get involved with things

too great or too wondrous for me.

2 Instead, I have calmed and quieted my soul

like a weaned child with its mother;

my soul is like a weaned child.

"listen to my words, keep hold of them, never let them go..."

The digital world around us makes money if we never unplug from the screen.

And it is changing our brains. Attention spans are shrinking. We are loosing our ability to spend time in quiet contemplation.

One of the reasons why anxiety and depression are exploding today is because of the impact of our constant stimulation and information overload is having on our brains and bodies.

The philosophy of our time is that everything must be done FAST.

I have a constant struggle with this myself.

God's Word tells us that some of the most important things in life are done slowly.

Its really interesting to think about the fact that God chose to give us his Word in the form of a book.

Of all the methods he could have chosen, this is the BEST ONE.

We talk constantly of the struggle with Bible reading - be honest the reason is that it seems boring when compared to the phone laying next to it.

GUYS the BIBLE is NOT BORING - its the most powerful source of eternal truth you will ever encounter.

But the Bible is given to you in a format that you can really enjoy only when you truly slow down and direct your heart to a deeper hunger.

"i have calmed and quited my soul.."

There is no drive through quick version of spiritual growth and wisdom.

God gives you his truth in a format that FORCES you to slow down.

You want eternal wisdom and joy in your heart? Stop treating God like another instagram or youtube video.

quiet your soul. come as a child in need. stop everything else. realize you need nothing else.

We often use the excuse - I am just in a busy season right now, when it passes I will have a little more time to slow down, to read, to pray to reflect.

False.

You are allowing yourself to believe the lie that slowing down to spend time in prayer and Scripture is a luxury I cannot afford. This is a lie. Its just not as stimulating as everything around you.

It doesnt matter our season in life, we are always on the path of foolishness or wisdom. And there is no progress in spiritual wisdom without:

- silence and solitude

- prayer and meditation on God and his truth in your life

- reading Scripture

- reading biblical content

God gave us a book with pages for a reason. Christians have always been known as people of the book, and of books. People who value reading, thinking, reflecting, slowing down.

Simple test for us today: how difficult is it for us to get through more than one chapter of Scripture? How difficult is it for us to pick up any christian book and finish it?

Reading is hard work. for all of us. dont make that excuse.

slowing down forces us to come to grips with the fact that the most important thing in our life has already been complete - Jesus on the cross, freedom from sin and death.

A lot of our spiritual struggles come from expecting some intense spiritual high or emotion to feel God's presence.

The reality is that God has given himself to us in Jesus. We chase some spiritual high to know that God is close but in Christ, God is telling us, "I am already here - in everyday life."

Application Questions:

- Is your life marked by a genuine and consistent pursuit of wisdom?

- Is your constant craving for entertainment deteriorating your ability know God and his ways in life?

- Does the cross of Christ prompt you to slow down and take in the beauty of his finished work and his constant presence in your life?

1.https://www.newyorker.com/culture/infinite-scroll/we-all-have-main-character-energy-now

2.https://www.huffpost.com/entry/compass-pleasure_b_890342#:~:text=What%20resulted%20was%20perhaps%20the,powerful%20than%20any%20natural%20stimulus.

More from Technology and the Christian Life

Christian Identity in a Digital Age - Technology and the Christian Life

June 4, 2023 • Andrey Bulanov

Outline: 1. Your identity is not created by you, it is given by your Creator and Savior. 2. Identity in the world is fragile and hostile; Identity in Jesus is both stable and humble. 3. We don't come to the world to be changed but to bring change. Scripture References: • Genesis 1:26 • Galatians 2:20 • Ephesians 4:5-7 • Romans 12:1-2 Application: • Where is your identity rooted today? Have you considered the power of what it means to be “in Christ”? • How do you respond to the pressures of comparison and failure? • Do you live in the world as a Christian? What does that look like? Discussion Questions: • What are some ways christians are tempted to create and shape their own identity today? • Why is it so critical that we understand our creation and our redemption identities? • What are some ways we miss or misunderstand or undervalue our biblical identity as created image bearers and as redeemed children of God? • What does it mean that we are "in Christ"? • How do we deal with failure and comparison on the basis of Christ? How have we all been learning this in our lives? • Do you tend to be a person who judges people who use more social media? • Or a person who uses it too much without giving it enough thought? How do we find balance here? • What does it mean for us to live in a digital age "as christians"? ---------- One of the most important questions we can ever answer is the question, "who am I?" What is my purpose? How do I fit in to this world? What makes my life meaningful? Its a question we don't usually think about, unless on rare occasion - often prompted by difficulty or deeply destabilizing experiences in our life. Two classic examples that we see often are the teenage years and the mid life crisis. It was always interesting to notice how kids changed from elementary to middle school. They go off to summer vacation pretty normal. They come back in the fall all dressed in black. A new identity. Mid life crisis - realizing our life is limited, and who are we really? Why did we make the choices that we made? Have I clear sense of identity is one of the biggest things that gives us a sense of peace and purpose in life, its one of the biggest things we crave, even though we are not fully away of it. One of the tricky things about our identity is that it is often formed and shaped through the habits and things we do in ways we are not always fully aware. We grow into perspectives, values and goals as we take in and participate in the world around us. This is why when it comes to the formation of our identity - the digital world poses one of the biggest challenges. One of the biggest dangers we face in a digital age is a subtle redefinition of our identity, away from our identity in Christ, and into the values, mission and ideas that flood into our hearts through the screens that surround us daily. How does this happen and how do we counter it with biblical truth? 1. Your identity is not created by you, it is given by your Creator and Savior. One of the biggest challenges in our sense of identity is that there are two parts two it - the internal part and the external part. Internally - there is the part of my identity that is internally sensed by me - I have to sense that the life i live is not fake - I am not just being someone that other people want me to be but feels forced and artificial to who I know I am on the inside. Externally - we crave to fit in and be affirmed by others. I can't just try to live my inner identity if it is constantly creating conflict with the world and people outside of me and makes me feel alone and misunderstood. We are designed to have a sense that we fit in to the world. Traditional culture said your identity is basically external - you need to do your role in society and you will be affirmed and good. Modern culture has rebelled against that and said - "No that is oppressive!" Your real identity comes from the inside. You can't let anyone tell you who you are! You have to be true to yourself and you have the power to change yourself. This is one of the reasons why social media feels so attractive and powerful - we have the ability to be anything that we are. The digital world - both social media and video games - is a world where you get to try out different versions of yourself. Not only are we able to try out different versions of ourselves - we are constantly being bombarded with different versions of how our life MIGHT look like from the side. Ads, movies, shows - the accounts of friends and celebrities - we are constantly spending our time looking at various versions of how peoples lives look like and being presented with options of how OUR life can look like. We are given this apparent freedom - to pick and choose and shape our identity in any way we want. And yet, we also see that it comes with a great burden - to decide and to promote and keep up our image. Some people who don't have ANY social media - yet this idea has still grabbed your heart and your desire to keep up and maintain your identity drives you in al you do - even though you don't have any social media accounts! Example - For people who spend a lot of time on social media - both young and old (this is not just a young people problem!) - you can often see a deviation between what kind of person they are online and what kind of person they are in person. Bold, confrontational, confident online - quiet, awkward, withdrawn in person. Example - After a major life trial, divorce, a break up, business crashing, etc, “rebranding” yourself by deleting all pics and starting fresh on Instagram pretending you can erase and recreate your identity. For many people today, their identity online is more important to them and they feel - it is the more authentic version of themselves - than there offline version. We see many people today who live more of their identity online than offline. You may say, well thats crazy. Sure - but here is a question to get a sense of ourselves - how would your sense of identity change if all of your online presence disappeared today. How would your sense of identity change if every screen in your life would disappear? • Our identity is given in creation. The Bible starts with reorienting everything away from us and our self centeredness and bringing everything back to God. He is the one and only SOURCE of everything. All beauty, all purpose, all meaning. And He creates us in HIS IMAGE. Genesis 1:26 26 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness. They will rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the livestock, the whole earth, and the creatures that crawl on the earth.” The core foundation of WHAT and WHO we are is not created by us, not defined by us, not chosen by us. It is given to us by our Creator. This means that every single human being has a fixed meaning and value and purpose. This shows us that we are designed to know and love our Creator as the center of our lives - and to live a mission and purpose that his love and his truth gives us. This also means that as we rebel against God and ignore his ways and try to be our own little gods (which is what the digital world trains us to be) - we will experience confusion, pain and brokenness in our lives. • Our identity is redeemed in Jesus We are created to know and worship our God - to live out his wonderful purposes in the world in the strength and authority he has delegated to us. But we have all also rebelled against that. Our hearts are polluted by sin and our identity is twisted and distorted by our sin and death. Here is where we see a constant misunderstanding of the christian message. A lot of people take Jesus life and death on the cross for our sins as a "get out of jail free card". Our Creator God entered our world, fully God and fully man, becoming one of us - to take our place to give his life to pay for our sin, and set us free from our slavery to sin and death - not just to leave us be. He came to bring us home. To adopt us back into his family and to put his very own life into us. Galatians 2:20 20 I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. The sinful, rebellious, dead dominating nature that used to define me is killed when I surrender my life to Jesus - he doesn't just forgive my sins, he permanently binds himself to me. Think about this for a minute - there is a element of mystery here. I am in Christ, and he is in me. In the New Covenant that he has sealed by his death for me - he is permanently bound himself to me and bound me to him. To be a christian is to be at home - only in Jesus. to be a christian, is to get your strength, your purpose and your direction - only in Jesus. The one and only source of meaning, of identity, of strength and direction in the universe is GOD. And in Jesus, God has opened his very heart to us, sinful rebels, to be forgiven, restored, and to know him and find our identity in him. 2. Identity in the world is fragile and hostile; Identity in Jesus is both stable and humble. Its interesting that, for all the energy in the world about "YOU DO YOU" and "don't let anyone tell you who you are" - our world is also enslaved to the opinions of others. That is because the idea that we can just AFFIRM ourselves and not care what anyone else things - this idea is totally absurd. There is only one type of person who does not care completely what others think and can live opposite to everyone and everything around them - we call them psychopaths. We are created and designed with both an inherent value and dignity - AND for the need to be known and affirmed by others around us. The problem is that when we make our value and worth based on what people think of us - it will never be enough. No matter how many followers, likes and admirers in life we have - its never going to be enough. We will always be insecure and crave for more. We will always fear loosing the affirmation that we have gained. This works powerfully in our offline lives - it is magnified x100 online. This is also why people get so aggressive online - our fragile identity must be protected - and one of the ways we do that is by judging and demonizing others. • This is revealed in a huge way with christians and politics - why do people get so vicious all of a sudden? they have taken up the identity of a divided political world and they are defending it. Identity in the world is fragile and aggressive. A person who's identity is rooted in Christ can look at photos of others having a good time with their family and say, "wow, thats so great, good for them." A person who is anxious and insecure sees others posting their lives and has to judge them, "Ugh look at them, they are so fake, they are so full of themselves they just think they are better than everyone else..." Notice - you may be a person who has no social media - but you struggle with this stuff a lot. Why? Because whether you are online or not, life in a digital age of hyper comparison and performance seeps into ALL of US whether we know it or not. Notice how the apostle Paul roots his identity in Jesus. "...The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me..." When my identity is set in Jesus, my identity is secure. At the same time there is humility and flexibility. Ephesians 4:5-7 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all. 7 Now grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift There is one Savior who gives us life, but he makes us all slightly different and I don't have to constantly measure myself against people to make sure I am keeping up with their lives and their abilities. At the same time, we don't rebel against others or cancel them out. Jesus gives us security but he doesn't come in to your life and define absolutely every detail about you. He gives you the church so that, as you are rooted in security in him, open yourself up to others and learn, receive correction and feedback - and grow and discover new aspects of your identity in Christ as you love others around you. One of the biggest ways this is tested is how we deal with failure. • Comparison - We look at the success of others and we feel like we never measure up even on our best days ◦ Moms feeling they’re not good enough or failing if their kids don’t have perfect outfits and their house isn’t aesthetically beautiful ◦ I have to battle this myself. • Life challenges - We look at the success of others and then we face really big failures - we know the skeletons we keep in our closets that others don't know about. Some of us respond by living in a perpetual "I suck". Some of respond by sweeping it under the rug and pushing on without really reflecting on our weakness and our need. Identity in Jesus enables us to face our weaknesses and sin and yet not be bogged down by them. Coming back to the cross, confessing our weakness and our failure, being renewed in his promise and his assurance of pardon - being reminded that we are accepted based on his finished work - allows us to face our sin AND to have the ability to get back up and keep going boldly. He loved us and he died for us when he KNEW how bad we were. And he has given us a power and a vision for the future that does not let us STAY that way. What does it take for you to get back up after failure? Is it the affirmation of others? Is it rebellion and self confidence? Do you find the grace of Jesus the most compelling, most humbling AND most empowering thing in your life? • Praise and encouragement from friends or loved ones • feeling successful, getting things done • posting something that makes you look better than you are so you can believe your own lie ◦ It's hilarious how often times will rewatch or relook at the things they post of themselves. Galatians 2:20 20 I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. In Jesus, we are both confident AND we are humble. We can know that our core identity is fixed and set. At the same time we can know that a big part of us is growing and developing as we seek to know him and serve him with our lives. 3. We don't come to the world to be changed but to bring change. If you don't know who you are - the world will reshape and distort your identity in MANY ways. Romans 12:1-2 Therefore, brothers and sisters, in view of the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your true worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. Notice that the call here is to submit our whole life to the process of being formed more deeply in our christian identity - our whole life is training and growth in being the people of God in a broken world. We must live with a clear and conscious awareness of being a christian means i am different. We must be aware of all the content we take in and have a proper sense between us and the world Two ways this happens: • Our entertainment choices are one of the biggest forces to wash away that identity. • Podcasts/audio books we listen to - many many hours from people who don't know God A lot of christians are formed in their identity in POWERFUL ways because when they listen to "conservative" thinkers they have all their filters down, as if "conservative" means "christian". Learn to critique the content you receive AS A CHRISTIAN. Who are the voices that shape your identity today? Are you intentional about the PROPORTION of space these things have in your life? Additionally - we need to have a sense of mission in this world. Paul says our formation into Christ will lead us to discern the will of God - to see his ways - to see how his truth applies to our lives and directs us to honor him most effectively. When christians talk about technology it can be mostly negative - and the idea is just we need to unplug everything and withdraw. if we know who we are, we will also find ways to expose the brokenness and USE the good for our mission. The digital world is not going away. it is a part of the real world. it is real. and it is a place where real work for the gospel is being done. 1. christians in social media 2. christians on youtube 3. christians and TV 4. christians in video games a lot of healthy online christian ministry LEADS people into in person spaces. does this mean that we all HAVE to be using all forms of technology and social media? No. To each is the task to discern the ways their life can be used most productively Some people should totally stay way because its just too much temptation and damage on them. But that doesn't mean they need to wear it as a badge of honor and count everyone else less spiritual. Our identity in Jesus is both stable and diverse. We are called to be transformed in our thinking so that we may look into the world that we are connected to - and we may use it for our goals and purposes. What kind of story are you telling? what is the sum total of all your digital life communicating? Application: • Where is your identity rooted today? Have you considered the power of what it means to be “in Christ”? • How do you respond to the pressures of comparison and failure? • Do you live in the world as a Christian? What does that look like?

Recovering Work in a Digital Age - Technology and the Christian Life

May 28, 2023 • Andrey Bulanov

Outline 1. Satisfaction comes through production, not consumption. 2. Easy everywhere is a lie; delight comes through battling difficulty. 3. True labor comes from the Lord's rest. Scripture References: • Genesis 1:28 • Genesis 2:15 • Matthew 28:19-20 • Proverbs 13:4 • Prov. 21:25 • 1 Timothy 4:7-10 • 1 Cor. 9:24-27 • Matthew 11:28-30 • Hebrews 12:1-2 Application questions: • Are you resting in Jesus and his finished work? • Are there ways in your life that you are being manipulated by a culture of consumption and lies of an easy life? • Does your faith in the gospel change the way you see work and the way you approach challenges in life? Discussion Questions: • What are some of the biggest ways you see technology impacting your view of work and productivity? • What is good work? How does it differ from bad work? • How does the Bible speak to our work ethic? How do we apply a biblical view on work as we think about technology? • How does the gospel give us infinite fuel to live a fruitful life? "Entertainment and social media have had both positive and negative impacts on human behavior and productivity. While they offer various benefits, they can also contribute to certain forms of laziness or decreased motivation. Here are a few ways in which entertainment and social media can potentially contribute to laziness: 1. Sedentary Lifestyle: Engaging in excessive screen time for entertainment purposes, such as binge-watching television shows or spending long hours on social media, can lead to a more sedentary lifestyle. Instead of participating in physical activities or pursuing productive endeavors, individuals may opt for passive forms of entertainment that require minimal effort. 2. Procrastination: Social media platforms and online entertainment provide easy access to a constant stream of content and distractions. This can lead to procrastination, as individuals may prioritize scrolling through social feeds, watching videos, or playing games over completing important tasks or engaging in more meaningful activities. 3. Reduced Physical Activity: Spending excessive time on entertainment and social media platforms can lead to a decrease in physical activity. People may choose to stay indoors and engage with digital content rather than participating in outdoor activities or exercise. This sedentary behavior can contribute to health issues and a lack of physical fitness. 4. Comparison and Demotivation: Social media platforms often showcase carefully curated highlights of people's lives. Constant exposure to these idealized representations can lead to feelings of inadequacy, self-comparison, and demotivation. Instead of taking active steps toward personal goals, individuals may become passive observers, feeling discouraged or lacking the drive to pursue their aspirations. 5. Attention Span and Productivity: The fast-paced, easily consumable nature of entertainment and social media content can affect attention spans and productivity. Constant exposure to bite-sized content, such as short videos or rapid-fire updates, may make it more challenging for individuals to concentrate on tasks that require sustained effort and focus." what is also interesting is that this whole introduction was not written by a person - it was written by a computer. Some of you may have heard of chat GPT - the first popular level artificial intelligence program available for free to the public. It is designed as a friendly assistant that can answer any question you ask it with fairly high level accuracy. It is a computer brain that does mental work for you. I asked this question AFTER my sermon outline and all my content and conclusions were written. But it really threw me for a loop because I was thinking, "Is this a better outline than I made??" What is the point of me researching and thinking for hours when I could have asked chat GPT and gotten this outline?? This is perhaps another way that technology creates a struggle in our relationship to work - as it gets more and more advanced - it makes us question that value and significance of our work. We were having a debate a few weeks ago with Victor, about where or not robot lawn mowers will make mowing the lawn yourself totally useless in the next 10 years. It also makes the rest of us who have spent our lives mowing the lawn question - "hm, what was the value of all that time i spent mowing the lawn??" Seeing that work is one of the most important aspects of our lives, it is critical that we take time to also think carefully about how we can be intentional in our thinking about work and technology. 1. Satisfaction comes through production, not consumption. One of the reigning ideas that drives our current cultural moment is the idea that you will get satisfaction through consumption. You will be happy and satisfied is you finally get everything you want and crave. And even more than that, you will be even more satisfied when you allow the culture around you to help you DISCOVER NEW CRAVINGS that you didn't know you had! This is the exciting new discovery Steve Jobs made and why Apple has been so successful - it is a company that didn't just satisfy people's cravings - it satisfied cravings they didn't know they had! People were not asking for the ability to binge watch through a season of a TV show on their phone. That was not something that was demanded by the costumers. "Gosh this is so fun....what OTHER fun things and delights await me in the digital world?"" Its the Willy Wonka factory for the entertainment hungry human heart. And it continually strengthens the idea into our hearts and minds that we will find delight and satisfaction through more consumption. It is this idea that has fueled marketing and advertising, it has led the design of apps and video games. Just so much fun. And there is an endless quest - once one thing stops satisfying just go grab the next thing! This is why binging 5 episodes of a TV show sucks a person in even though they most often wouldn't plan to sit down and watch that much TV - its why scrolling through random videos for an hour loops someone in - its the same concept of a slot machine in the casino - its the idea that just a little bit more and I will really get what I am looking for. Satisfaction through consumption. Its very hard to resist. Running completely opposite to this idea, is the message of the Bible that we are designed and created to cultivate satisfaction in life through production - through the process of good work and productivity in the world. Genesis 1:28 28 God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it. Rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, and every creature that crawls on the earth.” Genesis 2:15 15 The Lord God took the man and placed him in the garden of Eden to work it and watch over it. Matthew 28:19-20 19 Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” We are called, both in creation and in redemption to parttake in the work of God in the world. We are called to spend our lives pouring out energy, heart, soul and body to working and accomplishing things that bring good to the world. What is good work? Two levels of good work • We follow the beauty of God's design of creation by reflecting God's character in caring for the world and making it a better place for life in it to flourishing and multiply. • We follow the beauty of Gods plan of redemption by engaging in the work of the gospel - pursuing Christ, battling our sins, serving Jesus and other people with our lives. Being a construction worker is good work. Being a mother is good work. Being a lawyer who helps protect people from legal abuse and financial disaster is good work. the list goes on. Not all work is good work. Being a weed shop owner is not good work. Building casinos is not good work. Being a social media influencer or YouTube who posts dishonest and ridiculous videos for people to waste their time on is not good work. We are created to derive our deepest satisfaction from giving our whole self - heart, mind and strength - to bringing spiritual and physical good to the world. Satisfaction through production. The digital world is designed to teach us the opposite - satisfaction through consumption. Which one is right? That is easy. God is always right. But also, look around. A culture of consumption fosters more consumption and deeper laziness. What are the defining struggles of the world? Financial problems - not because we don't make enough to survive, but because we spend more than we make. Health problems - not because we don't have enough to eat but because we eat too much. Psychological problems - not because we don't have enough self esteem and affirmation but because we are obsessed with personal needs and preferences. Proverbs 13:4 "The slacker craves, yet has nothing, but the diligent is fully satisfied." Laziness and consumption make us miserable. This points to an important clarification about our deepest spiritual battles - the devil does not need to turn us all into evil murderers - he just needs to do whatever he needs to do to get you derailed off of God's calling for you. The constant mind clogging presence of entertainment and social media creates a daily struggle to not really be engaged in our work with our whole heart, mind and soul. If he can get you to simply STOP laboring in the things you are made for - he has succeeded. You will do the rest yourself as you deteriorate. Prov. 21:25 A slacker’s craving will kill him because his hands refuse to work. What is your view of work? Do you see it as a blessing, and an essential way that you honor God and bring good to the world? Or do you see work as the necessary discomfort you must get through so that you can get back to scrolling, or watching, or shopping - or any other method of consumption that every screen around you is trying to sell you today? What is your deepest drive or motivation? Is it about the things that you want to build and accomplish in life or the things you want to consume? 2. Easy everywhere is a lie; delight comes through battling difficulty. One of the biggest reasons we enjoy technology so much at its finest is because it feels like magic. You press a button, and it just works. a little robot that drives around the house and vacuums and sweeps for you a machine in your kitchen that washes all your dishes for you a program that answers questions better than a full time paid research assistant and writes better than a college senior Andy Crouch has a FASCINATING chapter on magic in his newest book on technology, and he defines the historic quest for magic as the desire to get results without effort. The promise of technology lures us in with the idea that life can be EASY and easy everywhere. The goal of many inventors of the last 50 years is that machines could do all the work for us making free to live a life of leisure. To be clear - it is GOOD that so much technology today has made our lives easier and in many ways more productive. The danger is that we follow it in the false conclusion that the GOAL of everything is to make life easier and easier - the goal of life is to avoid effort and resistance. This is PRECISELY what makes our self control so difficult when it comes to watching TV or scrolling on the phone - it is so EASY. Even if you have gotten to the point where you feel miserable - its easier to click next episode or keep scrolling than to turn it off and face your gross feelings and move on with the day. This is what makes video games so addictive and enslave so many men and boys - it gives you an alternative world where you have have dominion, where you can accomplish GREAT and POWERFUL things - all while sitting on the couch. This is why social media leads a lot of people to depression and demotivation - because it is constantly presenting you with the RESULTS of what people have done with their lives - their homes, their cars, their families - and it makes it all look so simple and easy. It makes you crave results, while also making you less and less willing to face the hard slow process of GETTING those results. "“What do you want to be when you grow up?” is a common question asked of children, and it has a new most common answer: a YouTuber. A 2018 Harris Poll that surveyed three thousand kids ages eight to twelve found that 30 percent of kids in the United Kingdom and 29 percent of kids in the United States would like to be a “Vlogger/YouTuber” when they grow up—the most common answer, followed by teacher, athlete, musician, and astronaut. A similar study conducted by Morning Consult in 2019 found that 54 percent of thirteen- to thirty-eight-year-olds would be an influencer if given the opportunity. Why do so many kids and young adults want to be some kind of influencer? Because our intimate relationship with social media and the complex algorithms that serve us our delicious content has presented the possibility that we could be paid to simply share pictures and videos of our beautiful, lavish lifestyles." (Chris Martin, "The Wolf in Their Pockets") It is awesome that technology has transformed some of the most difficult aspects of life. But this idea that we need to have EASY EVERYWHERE or that EASY is BETTER is a LIE. This is really the heart of the lie in Eden - eat the fruit, and you will get superpowers. 1 Timothy 4:7-10 7 But have nothing to do with pointless and silly myths. Rather, train yourself in godliness. 8 For the training of the body has limited benefit, but godliness is beneficial in every way, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. 9 This saying is trustworthy and deserves full acceptance. 10 For this reason we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe. 1 Cor. 9:24-27 24 Don’t you know that the runners in a stadium all race, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way to win the prize. 25 Now everyone who competes exercises self-control in everything. They do it to receive a perishable crown, but we an imperishable crown. 26 So I do not run like one who runs aimlessly or box like one beating the air. 27 Instead, I discipline my body and bring it under strict control, so that after preaching to others, I myself will not be disqualified. The most important and most precious things in your life are accomplished through intense struggle. The more intense the struggle, the deeper the satisfaction it leads to. Paul is one of the most joyful, energetic and alive people in all the Bible. He is so captivated by the beauty of the gospel and the goodness of God, that joy moves him to live all in - to labor, to give himself to a life of knowing God and serving others. It is in our growth and our perseverance and struggle through challenges that we are forced to draw on Gods strength in our lives, to depend on him, to become greater than we are - to display his power in our lives. ARE YOU CULTIVATING THE HABIT OF CONSTANTLY PUSHING AGAINST RESISTENCE OR CONSTANTLY GIVING IN TO IT?? • this is a principle that soaks into EVERY aspect of our life We are built for the fight - both physically, emotionally, relationally and spiritually. What do you do when you meet resistance in life? With the social media culture of self centeredness everything has to be the right vibe. Even when we get to work we gotta "feel it" we gotta "get motivated" - we think it has to "feel authentic" 99% of the time that is just our lazy selfishness twisting and squirming like a two year old in the high chair - the solution is not to "wait for the vibe" it is to push back hard against our laziness and get to work. It is one of the most important spiritual habits in our lives that when we face resistance our response is not to cave in or run away but to push throw the resistance. We face resistance EVERYWHERE in life - from the moment we open our Bibles, to the moment we face difficulty in our relationships, to the urge to start work and be productive. We have to cultivate the expectation that my joy comes in the fight, in my daily battle with self control and the challenges God has set before me. If you have the hope and power of the Living God burning inside of you, it means you can now learn the courage of expecting pressure and difficulty - and being able to persevere and work through it. This totally changes the way you view technology in your life. Andy Crouch again makes the helpful distinction between viewing technology as a device versus viewing it as a tool. A device is easy and gets things done for you. A tool expands your abilities but it only works as you learn to use it effectively. Tools are powerful, but they require the difficult process of learning to use them well. This is why I don't think it works to just cut technology out and call it good. Its like saying, the power saw is too dangerous, I will stick to the regular hand saw. Ok, but you are also cutting yourself off from the powerful potential this tool has. As God's people we have the power to utilize all of creation for God's glory and our good. But it takes work and perseverance and complexity to make technology work for YOU and your benefits. Buying the lie of easy everywhere makes you a slave, turns YOU into the tool. Embracing your calling to overcome weakness and temptation by the power of God's Spirit makes you the master. 3. True labor comes from the Lord's rest. During the 1990's psychology Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi became fascinated about idea of what gives people the deepest sense of happiness and satisfaction in life. He observed people who became completely absorbed in their work - artists, athletes, authors - any person working. He noticed this thing that happens to us in the peak of our work - a state he called "flow" - a condition when a person becomes totally focused in their work, where it seems easy, where time flies, where a person forgets about other distractions or anxieties - a kind of peaceful state of being absorbed in your work. And as you exit flow - as you finish your work - there is a deep sense of calm, satisfaction and gratitude. This is an experience universal to all people - no matter what culture or economic background. But we don't enter into this state instantly - flow is preceded by an initial phase in the beginning of our work with anxiety, distraction, mixed emotions and motivations - as we settle into the task. “The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times . . . The best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.” (Csikszentmihalyi) This is an essential feature of how God designed us. That deep satisfaction comes through difficulty. How do we get the motivation to work harder? to be self controlled? where do we get the power? At the end of the day that is the message of every other religion and motivational podcast. The gospel goes deeper than that. It also points to our hearts and says, "yeah, left to ourselves we are slackers and slugs" The call to be a christian in an age of digital distraction and laziness is not the call to join a club of elite productivity experts who run 15 miles a day and have zero distractions and perfect self control. At the end of the day, the drive to be super self controlled and productive, and the drive to be a lazy slug who sits on the couch all day watching TV is the same drive - its the drive that says I am the one who saves me. We have a Savior who invites us into the rest of his finished work. And he invites us to get our joy, our drive, our power and motivation from what HE has done on our behalf. Matthew 11:28-30 28 “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Its interesting here that Jesus says that HE gives us a burden - Jesus does not invite you to come be a leech from his grace. He invites you to take HIS burden. But his burden is very different than the burden that YOU carry yourself. Your burden is the burden of your own sinfulness and your weakness, your need to be forgiven and redeemed. This is the burden he came to take. He became a man to take our sin and to pay the debt we could never pay to make us right with God. He says, "I came to do the work, the work that you could never do. The job that was beyond your ability." Ill take your burden, and I will give you mine. I will give you a job and a calling. Come and follow me. Come and join my kingdom. Come and join my work of redeeming the world through the work of the gospel. But this burden is light. It is WORK. Its hard. But its going to be a life lived out of strength and power and joy because it is fueled by my finished work and by the strength I give you. Flow is sort of a picture of the gospel because there is the initial burden, the initial challenge - that leads to a life of true power that is light and satisfying. You have to come to the cross with your sin. You have to embrace how weak and broken you are - only then you can come to the Savior in total surrender and dependence - you can give him your burden and you can take on his. Hebrews 12:1-2 "Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, 2 keeping our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith. For the joy that lay before him, he endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." True labor comes from the Lord's rest. Our most powerful living and strength comes from our deep grasp of God's grace and love in our lives, our intimate fellowship with him, our experience of his presence and his care and his calling for us. this is why as christian we can live lives that are deeply productive and self controlled - but we also don't become judgmental, critical and legalistic about it towards others. Let's take a minute in prayerful meditation. • Are you resting in Jesus and his finished work? • Are there ways in your life that you are being manipulated by a culture of consumption and lies of an easy life? • Does your faith in the gospel change the way you see work and the way you approach challenges in life?

Building Relationships in a Digital Age - Technology and the Christian Life

May 21, 2023 • Andrey Bulanov

Outline: 1. Building relationships is the most important and complex calling in our lives. 2. Relationships are built on presence. • We must see time with people as one of the most valuable things we can do. • Presence is about truly taking people in and truly letting them in. 3. Relationships are fueled by conversations. 4. Relationships are proven in sacrifice Application: • What value do relationships play in your life? Has Jesus' love for you changed the way you approach others? • Do you tend to over-simplify your relationships? Do you consider the complexity of the task of loving others? • Do people in your life feel seen and loved by you? • Are your relationships characterized by honest and life giving conversations? Discussion Questions: • How does the New Testament speak of the significance of relationships and love in our lives? Why is it so central to our identity as christians? • What are some unique ways that technology impacts our ability to form deep honest relationships? • what does it mean to be truly present for people? What does it mean to "take them in"? • What are some reasons why we struggle with having deep and meaningful conversations in our relationships? • Why does technology make it easy to be blind to our relational weakness? What do we need to do to mitigate these effects? Should we stop connecting with people through technology at all? Scripture references: • Ephesians 4:14-16 • John 13:34-35 • John 13:1 • 1 John 4:18-19 • John 15:15 • John 15:3-5 ------------------ Our need for personal connection is one of the deepest aspects of our design as human beings. Andy Crouch starts his book with these powerful words, "Recognition is the first human quest..." As soon as a baby is born, it spends about an hour in a state that doctors call "quiet alert"... Though they can only see about 8 to 12 inches away, their eyes are wide open. They are searching, with an instinct far deeper than intention. They are searching for a face, and when they find one - especially one that gazes back at them - they fix their eyes on it having found what they were most urgently looking for." (Andy Crouch, "The Life We're Looking For") Knowing and loving others is at the heart of our creation design, because we are designed to know and love God and others. Scientists have discovered something called "mirror neurons" in our brains - aspects of our brains that detect and mimic any relational connection we have and observe with other people. They have concluded that a HUGE part of our behavior is our brain reflecting the actions of people we witness. Its no surprise that technology REALLY blew up when tech developers discovered the gold mine of "social media" and all the ways that technology promises to enable us to stay connected to way more people than we ever imagined possible. It turns out that because relationships are one of the most important parts of our lives, its also one of the areas where we are most prone to be manipulated. This is illustrated powerfully in an program that was developed in the 1950's that was called ELIZA - explain. This program was the first time that scientists started to realize that as human beings we will treat non living items with personal characteristics when we feel like we have a connection even though we KNOW its not a real person. If you have seen Castaway you remember the same thing happened to the main character and his relationship with an old volleyball. Relationship is at the heart of what we are created to do. What the rise of social media and technology has also showed us is that as we develop personal connection to our devices, we also have a tendency to change how we treat REAL people and relationships. You may assume that because of social media we all are becoming way more social, way more relational, we more deep in how we connect with people - the total opposite is the effect. Depression is now the leading cause of disability worldwide, with over 300 million people suffering from it across the globe. In 2017 the UK became the first government to appoint a “Minister for Loneliness,” followed by a comprehensive, £21.8 million “loneliness strategy” to address the crisis. Understanding and prioritizing real relationship in our lives is one of the most important ways we as christians fulfill our mission, and this is a critical thing for us to pay attention to as we think about our lives as followers of Jesus in a digital age. 1. Building relationships is the most important and complex calling in our lives. Ephesians 4:14-16 "14 Then we will no longer be little children, tossed by the waves and blown around by every wind of teaching, by human cunning with cleverness in the techniques of deceit. 15 But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into him who is the head—Christ. 16 From him the whole body, fitted and knit together by every supporting ligament, promotes the growth of the body for building itself up in love by the proper working of each individual part." Notice how Paul explains the end goal of christians transformation - it is a life of relational love in the community of the church. This is the very DEFINITION of "growing up into the Christ" - of becoming like Jesus. Love is not just a feeling or emotion. He says its a way of life, a life of transformed obedience to God's Word. It is the pinnacle of our journey as changing people. What does a person look like, who doesn't just know a lot of smart things but actually lives them out? - Love. How do I know if I am growing spiritually? Answer - are you growing in your ability to love others well? Notice how Paul sets love as the highest expression of life that is truly living out God's truth. This of course, is perfectly in line with everything else the Bible says. Jesus was asked - what is the most important commandment? "Love the Lord your God with all your HEART with all your MIND and with all your STRENGTH - and LOVE your neighbor as yourself." What does it look and feel like when a person perfectly lives out all of God's truth? There was one person who did - "and the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory..." And at the end of his life, Jesus says to his disciples, John 13:34-35 34 “I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” Relationships are CENTRAL to who we are, to our creation design as humans, and to our mission in redemption as we spread God's good news to the world. Loving others is at the heart of all we are to do. Relationships are also COMPLEX. Loving others is not easy. Its not just an emotional disposition. It is immensely complex. It takes a lot growth. It takes a lot of change and learning and wisdom. People are complicated. WE are selfish. If we established last time that as Christians we are to be people who fiercely pursue wisdom in all our lives, then we can add to that statement, that we are also to be the type of people who are fiercely pursuing growth in RELATIONSHIPS and our ability to love others well - to love others in a way that results in their growth, their encouragement, their own growth in love. This is why for christians the pursuit of relationships and people must be one of the most important priorities in life. Relationships are the most complicated part of our lives because they are also at the peak of our calling as followers of Jesus. In an age of social media there is perhaps no word that is more drained of its true meaning than the word "friend". What does it mean to have a real relationship? What does it mean to build a real friendship? Today people can FEEL very connected, feel like they know someone really well - because they are looking at daily updates of their lives and commenting and liking that content. this feeling of connection can sometimes be shattered in the awkward interactions people may have when they first physically meet a person that they have been following on social media. There is a great temptation to flatten out the complexity it takes to form real relationships when you are able to constantly interact with people and feel very connected, but your doing it in a way that requires NO EFFORT, no change, no difficult conversations on your part. We look at posts of people having a good time, a group of friends, a married couple, a church community - and we think "thats how its supposed to be, thats how relationships are." Paul says speaking truth and growing up in love with others takes our whole being, our whole heart and the work of God as we learn to love others like Jesus loves us. Its a messy and complex process. It requires a lot of patience, struggle, and humility. When relationships feel difficult and challenging - THAT IS NORMAL. That is how its supposed to feel. This is because our selfishness is being exposed, and we are witnessing opportunity for growth, for inviting God's presence to change and grow us. Just like an athlete is ALWAYS working to perfect his technique, his form and his strength - the life of followers of Jesus is always focused on the practical skill of loving others. People are always the most important investment we can make in our lives. How do we love others well? How do we love like Jesus? I want to just give us three simple words - presence, conversation and service. 2. Relationships are built on presence. "and the Word become flesh and dwelt among us..." Its amazing that when God entered our world, he spent most of his life living - not teaching or leading. And even in his three years of ministry, Jesus was so much more present with his disciples than they ever realized. He would listen carefully to them, as they walked and talked among each other, not realizing he was listening. He spent a lot of physical time with a select few men. Men who were not impressive. Men who needed constant reminding and redirecting. The coming of Jesus into the world was the peak expression of his love was his presence. And it points to how God in his whole being is so much more present in our lives than we realize. Jesus said, not a hair falls from the head that he doesn't know about. David said he stores all our tears in a bottle. This is also one of the biggest ways technology impacts our relationships. Technology conditions our minds to always be running to the next thing, always fidgeting about the next priority. It also makes us anxious and insecure. It makes us always be thinking about what OTHERS think of us and how we look to them. All of these things become mental barriers to TRULY being present with people, even when we are around others. In addition to this - our phones make us feel hyper connected. We are constantly texting and calling and posting and liking and responding to people all day long. This SENSE of connectedness makes it very easy be blind to how lonely and disconnected we really are. It's not social medias fault that we are bad at relationships - we are bad at relationships because we are sinners. Social media just comes along and adds support and empowers our deepest sinful relationship weaknesses - it allows for a feeling of connectedness without sacrifice and growth, and it makes it possible to be more disconnected from people without realizing it. • We must see time with people as one of the most valuable things we can do. How many miles and how many hours did Jesus put in with his disciples on the road? How many late nights by the campfire? Cooking? Some of us are more naturally social than others. To some it is easier than others. But learning to love people like Jesus loved starts with how you VIEW people. Do you view it as one of the most important things you can do? There is no price tag, no visible product - and yet it is the most valuable aspect of our lives. As frustrating as the disciples were, we never get the impression that Jesus didn't want to be around them. John 13:1 "Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart from this world to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end." We may use the excuse of busyness - but its something deeper, it what we value. • Presence is about truly taking people in and truly letting them in. We can spend a lot of time around people and still not really build relationships. We can chit chat about endless things. We can laugh and crack jokes and keep everything superficial. Being with people means really taking them in, really listening, really being here with them. Its amazing how Jesus paid attention to his disciples more than they realized. He listened to them, and he shared his heart with them. Being present with others is a vulnerable experience. BOTH listening and sharing. ITs scary. The digital age of isolation makes us more and more anxious, like we are always on display, always being watched and recorded and evaluated. Love is the only thing that teaches us to push out this fear. 1 John 4:18-19 18 There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears is not complete in love. 19 We love because he first loved us. There is a powerful principle here! We have the capacity to drive out our fear and anxiety - fear of judgment before God and others - because we have been loved by him first. The more you realize and meditate on God's love for you, the more it extinguishes the place of fear in your life, the more it grounds you in peace and enables you to real SEE other people, their lives, their needs. Do ppl close to you in your life feel seen and known by you? Do they feel that you are truly present? Do they feel like you are constantly distracted? Do they feel like they have to compete for your attention? 3. Relationships are fueled by conversations. Jesus talked, Jesus asked questions, Jesus spoke truth John 15:15 15 I do not call you servants anymore, because a servant doesn’t know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from my Father. "speaking truth in love we are to grow up into Christ" Conversations are the building blocks of relationships. It is easier than ever to be around other people and have the phone and entertainment be a mediating wall that protects us from the vulnerability of real intimacy. Conversations are deeply interconnected with presence - because when we talk we learn to listen, to ask questions, to probe deeper and to speak truth. Think about what it must have been like to sit at the campfire and talk with Jesus. What kind of conversations they must have had. What kind of listener was he? Maybe you have had the frustrating experience of hitting a cieling what some poeple in your relationship - because that person seems to not have much capacity to be interested or talk about anything that is really meaningful. What prevents us from having deeper conversations in our relationships? • We get bored. conversations take time and energy. There isn't an instant reward. Its amazing how our tech age teaches us to constantly pursue being wowed and entertained - we end up being fascinated by very shallow and foolish things, but when it comes to truly beautiful and amazing things - we get bored. C. S. Lewis has a beautiful passage where he challenges this. Who are the people that surround us in life? People created in the Image of God, infinitely valuable - will live on in eternity. Those for whom God came to die to save and restore. And we get bored? If you have a correct view of people, you will find them endlessly interesting. How is it that I get so attracted to a rectangular screen but get bored around real people? • We get uncomfortable. I saw an interesting scene this week - some business was having an even and people were lined up outside for it. Something I like to do is to observe people in public. Its amazing to pay attention to people sitting at a table in restaurants - and how often you can find a family all dressed up and looking nice, with amazing food before them - but the atmosphere at the table is just awkwardly quite, with occasional comments or ideas being said. Often this is also because people are on their phones. Sociologists have identified that its about at 7 minutes in a group conversation that someone has to break through the small talk and ask a real question or share something meaningful. Why is this so challenging? Conversations take intentionality and courage It is when we take the step to talk about the things that are truly meaningful to us that we begin to really share life together. I am not talking about the fact that everyone needs to get really deep and complex, and some ppl will say, "Well I am not that deep like you" No, its about being able to talk about what is really going on in your heart and mind. We ALL have meaningful struggles, questions, challenges. Social media teaches our brain to only run to the things that we like. It rewires our brain to avoid anything that goes against our ideas. It makes us more and more incapable of uncomfortably facing our own pain, or the challenging parts of other people. You can't evaluate your relationships based on how many texts or reels you send to a person. You have to evaluate your relationships based on the quality of REAL CONVERSATIONS you have had with that person. Think about how awkward the world would get if EVERY SCREEN disappeared. We would have to work through that anxiety and discomfort and ask REAL QUESTIONS and share real life. One can only imagine the atmosphere that morning on the beach after Jesus had risen from the dead, he made breakfast for the disciples and as they are eating he asks a question, "Peter, do you love me?" This conversation was very uncomfortable for Peter. But it also had a very powerful restorative effect on him, because in it, Jesus invited Peter to a deeper participation in his mission. My wife has graciously helped me grow in my ability to be more intentional and ask good thoughtful questions that draw people out. When you think of the people who would consider friends - are those friendships marked be consistent, healthy, honest and real conversation? Do the conversations in your friendships really enter into the deeper aspects of who you really are? Or are you still hiding the biggest and most important parts? what is your definition of friendship? Do your conversations and relationships reach into challenging and painful aspects of peoples lives and bring healing and encouragement? its not just about the courage to ask, but about the skill and wisdom of bringing real healing Are people encouraged after spending time with you? Is your home a place of interesting, enlightening conversation? Parents - do your kids feel like you are generally available and accessible to talk? What does meal time feel like in your home? 4. Relationships are proven in sacrifice Our digital age often makes our digital identity more important than our physical identity. This is really visible in the relational world. No matter how many likes or texts or reels we send. No matter how many I love you and wow you are so amazing we send - our relationships are truly meaningless if we are not willing to show up and give ourselves to people physically. Perhaps you have experienced it in a special way - when someone really comes through and shows up to help. We are embodied creatures and we cannot escape the physical aspect of relationships. If I think i am connected to a lot of people and feel like I have a lot of relationships with people, but my life does not include in it regularly showing up for people, sacrificing my time and my money for them - i am living in a delusion. What does it mean that "you are close" to someone? Have you showed up for them and spent yourself? Have you walked through difficult seasons of life with them? John 15:3-5 3 Jesus knew that the Father had given everything into his hands, that he had come from God, and that he was going back to God. 4 So he got up from supper, laid aside his outer clothing, took a towel, and tied it around himself. 5 Next, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet and to dry them with the towel tied around him. Here is the beauty of the christian gospel - that God doesn't just have good thoughts and good intentions and good words for us. That God physically entered his creation, the author wrote himself into the story - to redeem and restore us, to give us his love and his presence, to bring forgiveness of sin. There is something powerfully physical about the gospel. To take in the incarnation, to consider the life of Jesus, to think about the cross and the empty tomb. It makes you think very differently about the people in your life. At the very heart of your ability to really love people and build relationships is your own experience of the love of Jesus. this is the key. This is what changes everything. Its what fills you, makes you want to slow down for others, be there fore them in real life. Application: • What value do relationships play in your life? Has Jesus' love for you changed the way you approach others? • Do you tend to over-simplify your relationships? Do you consider the complexity of the task of loving others? • Do people in your life feel seen and loved by you? • Are your relationships characterized by honest and life giving conversations?