I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR! Okay, so lately, it has been more of a little kitten mew. Friend, I am not gonna lie. I have been in a funk these past few weeks, even months. And if I were to be brutally honest with you, I have been in a deep depression. I am not talking about having a bad day or sadness that lingers. I am talking life altering, can’t get out of bed some days, overwhelming grief, kind of depression. It happens from time to time and it absolutely breaks my heart.

I looked up the definition and it just makes me sad to even look at the word, “depression”.
“Noun: depression - a mental condition characterized by feelings of severe despondency and dejection, typically also with feelings of inadequacy and guilt, often accompanied by lack of energy and disturbance of appetite and sleep.”
Even the definition is depressing. (Yes, pun intended.) It can stop you in your tracks, be overwhelming, and rob you of your joy.

So why am I telling you this? I have learned over the years that I am not alone in this journey and when I open up and am honest with myself (and others), I find that is where the darkness can no longer hide. Confession is good for the soul and sister, my soul needs some good ole stripped down, scrubbed down, bathed in glory cleansing. Matter of fact, just let me soak in some of those faith bubbles for a while.

So, “Where are you?” Have you been in a funk and feeling the effects of the weight of the world? Have you had some life altering situations and/or grieving a loss of a loved one? Maybe you have had your own clinical diagnosis and are battling that heaviness. Depression is real no matter what form it may come in. From time to time, it may even win a battle or two. But let me give you a glimmer of hope. It will NEVER win the war! God promises us in His word that we are more than conquerors through Him. “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37

During this current episode of depression, I have learned about some tools to use in battle. As I reflected, I realized that in the days since Christmas I have not been focused on my prayer life, reading my Bible, and journaling. I start to condemn myself but then I remember my saving grace and do just that, give myself a little grace and start again. How? By opening my Bible and picking up my paper, pen, and a devotional my sweet friend gave me that says, “Hope shines brightest when your world is darkest.” That gift couldn’t be any more perfect for this season I am in. God used that friend and her gift to remind me that He has some precious words for me to bask in when my world seems pitch black.

Today I am going to choose joy and remember that I am a daughter of the King. I will straighten my crown, pull my big girl pants back up (they are pink by the way), take a deep breath, and give the devil a knuckle sandwich. That last part may be a stretch. I’m a lover, not a fighter. And besides that, I have to remember that the battle belongs to the Lord! This world slings too much of its ugliness at me to fight it alone. I am so thankful that I can call on my Savior to stand in the gap of my shame and weakness.

I don’t have all the answers as to why we go through depressing times. I don’t know the names of your demons. But I DO KNOW A SAVIOR who loves you and created you in His image. Sister, please read that last line again. He created you in His image and you are perfect in His eyes. We may not see it when we look in the mirror, but that reflection is who we see, not who your Heavenly Father sees.

So many scriptures can tell you of your value in God’s sight. I would be writing for the next six months if I tried to list them all, so I am going to give you my top 5 “Go To” scriptures for when my feelings take over and I forget who I am in Christ.
1. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven. Luke 7:47
2. Perhaps this is the moment for which you have been created. Esther 4:14
3. The very breath of God is in you. Job 33:4
4. But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds; declares the Lord. Jeremiah 30:17
5. I have called you by name; you are mine. Isaiah 43:1

Sister friend, as I finish writing this blog post, I am praying over you RIGHT NOW. I pray that the peace that passes ALL understanding comes in and floods your heart. I pray your dry empty wells are overflowing with those life giving words from Jesus and that you are soaking up his preciousness. (Is that a word? It is now!)

There is so much God wants to restore in you. I know there are going to be some dark days, but also know this: there is an eternal home that awaits you that is more beautiful than you can fathom. So keep going my friend and let God battle those dark days for you. Depression is real, but so is my Jesus, and I long for you to grow deeper in your relationship with Him.

Postnote: Depression is not the same as guilt or shame. Clinical depression is a disease that is caused by a chemical imbalance in our bodies. If you are feeling as though you may need some help or support, you are not alone! Please reach out to our staff.

Photo by Noah Buscher on Unsplash used by permission