icon__search

Stop Shaming and Start Honoring

Message 3

Pastor Chuck Swindoll • Luke 15:11–32

Shame. Its message is dreadfully debilitating and packed with pain. The corrosive effect it has on how we love, parent, work, and lead (to name only a few) is enormous. As one authority on the subject has written, “Shame keeps us small, resentful, and afraid,” which is the way many choose to live their lives.

Shame is, primarily, the fear of disconnection. Since we are psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually hardwired for connection, love, and belonging, the message shame proclaims is devastating. Listen to its voice: “I'm not worthy or good enough for acceptance, belonging, or connection. I'm unlovable, I cannot measure up, and I lack what is necessary to accomplish what others expect of me.”

In our shame-prone culture, parents, bosses, teachers, and many pastors consciously or subconsciously urge people to connect their significance to what they produce. This prompts disengagement, blame, and favoritism, resulting in fear of risk, absence of vulnerability, and a total lack of innovation. How much better to respect and honor others—even when they fail to measure up to expectations or “blow it” big time!

Stop Drifting Along and Start Digging In

Pastor Chuck Swindoll • Proverbs 2:1–9

Shallowness is not attractive. This is true, not so much in children, but in the lives of adults, those who ought to know better. Many are satisfied to skate along, hitting the high spots, seldom deliberately pausing to go deeper . . . probe deeper . . . think deeper. Unfortunately, there is little in our hurried and hassled age that promotes the importance of depth—even in many churches. Stop and consider how many have turned their worship into entertainment and selected programs filled with non-stop activities as a substitute for growing, learning, and applying wisdom to their lives. How easy it is to start looking more like a herd of cattle in a stampede than God's flock resting in green pastures. If you are ready to allow God to bring about lasting transformation in the way you live your life, let today be a turning point. Make the decisions today that can change the course of your life.

Stop Procrastinating and Start Following Through

Pastor Chuck Swindoll

The beginning of a year is an ideal occasion to come to terms with how we utilize our time. With all these weeks and months stretching out in front of us, we have an excellent opportunity to focus on how well we handle our days. Looking back, most of us can recall saying the same words again and again: “I don't have enough time.” While we may repeat that statement with great sincerity, is it true? Stop and think: Is it really true that we don't have “enough time” in our day? Could it be that our problem is not having enough time but making the most of the time we have? Convicting though it may be, everyone has the same amount of time in his or her day . . . no matter his or her age, gender, social status, marital status, or education. We are all given the same number of hours. The crucial issue is not having enough time, but using it wisely and well. More often than not, we've formed the habit of putting off what needs to get done rather than following through on those things we need to accomplish.

Stop Blaming and Start Forgiving

Pastor Chuck Swindoll

Blaming others is the longest-standing and the most common reaction to our own wrongdoing. It's our favorite game to play—in fact, it's a habit that humans have cultivated since life began. It was the reaction of the first man and woman when faced with their own failure in the garden of Eden. Immediately, both played the blame game! The alternative is an honest, up-front confession, which is neither complicated nor difficult . . . unless, of course, we allow pride to get in the way. When that happens, we resist confessing with everything in us. Having formed the habit of blaming others regarding our own sinfulness, we naturally turn to it when others do wrong. We are quick to point the finger of blame rather than respond with genuine forgiveness. Not only are we to forgive ourselves, our unwillingness to forgive others follows close behind. It's time to stop that timeworn cycle.