Mary Ann's Last Hour—Afraid To Believe She Was A Believer
June 8, 2024 • Ichabod Spencer
"The very point of her anguish consisted in this,—namely, that she believed Christ to be a full and free Savior, and yet could find no evidence in her heart that she trusted in Him. The promises were precious things in her heart’s estimation, but they seemed to her to be precious things which she did not embrace. She distrusted herself, but not God. She was afraid to believe that she was a believer. She was so tremblingly afraid of getting wrong, that she dared not think she could possibly be right."
"She was in darkness, not because she had no faith, but because she did not believe she had any. She had a title to heaven, without having eyes to read it."
I Can't Feel
Ichabod Spencer
The Bible never tells you that you must feel but that you must repent and believe. Your complaint that you 'can't feel,' is just an excuse, by which your wicked heart would justify you for not coming to Christ now.
How Believers Handle Despair Differently from Unbelievers
May 24, 2024 • Ichabod Spencer
There is a difference between the despondency of a believer, and the despondency of an unbeliever. A desponding believer still has faith. It only needs to be brought into lively exercise, and his despondency will melt away. He becomes desponding, because he has lost sight of the objects of faith, and has fixed his thoughts upon himself and his sins. Let the matters of faith be brought up before his mind, and they are realities to him,—unquestionable realities. He only needs to keep his eye upon them.
Seeking The Lord With My Whole Heart
May 3, 2023 • Ichabod Spencer
You asked me, if my trying had done me any good; and I answered, that I did not know as it had. You told me then, that you could tell me the reason why it had not:—the reason was, that I had sought with only a part of my heart. You went on to say to me, you must search with all your heart, not half of it: ‘Ye shall seek me and ye shall find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart?’ (Jeremiah 29:13)
I Can't Repent!
Ichabod Spencer
"Do you think I am self-righteous?" said he."I know you are. That is your grand difficulty. You have been trying to save yourself. You are trying now. When you tried to repent, your heart aimed after repentance, as something to recommend you to God, and constitute a reason why he should forgive and save you. It was just an operation of a self-righteous spirit. It was just an attempt to save yourself, to have your religion save you, instead of relying by faith upon Jesus Christ, to be saved from wrath through him." - Ichabod Spencer
Saved From A More Terrible Despair Than The Unpardonable Sin
March 22, 2023 • Ichabod Spencer
When going into counseling this lady Ichabod thought, "I had expected the old affair of the 'unpardonable sin,' or 'sin against the Holy Ghost;' but I found a far more difficult matter." Yet in the end, this lady was saved from a more terrible despair than the unpardonable sin.
Ceasing To Pray: I Have Given Up Trying To Seek God
January 30, 2023 • Ichabod Spencer
Many people refuse to take God's way, but insist on their own. They put themselves in a place of seeking to teach the Lord, rather than submitting to His teachings. Your duty is to take His way. His thoughts are not your thoughts.
The Arrow Driven Deeper
April 12, 2022 • Ichabod Spencer
Finding it impossible, on account of the number, to have much conversation with each individual at the inquiry meeting, I at one time abandoned the practice of conversation for a few weeks, and addressed them all together. I found this was unacceptable, and concluded, therefore, to return to the former custom.
It was on one of those evenings, when about seventy persons were present, and I was passing rapidly from one to another, that I came to an individual who had never been there before. Said I: “What is the state of your feelings on the subject of your salvation?”
“I feel,” said he, “that I have a very wicked heart.”
“It is a great deal more wicked than you think it,” said I; and immediately left him, and addressed myself to the next person.
I thought no more of it till a few days afterwards, when he came to me with a new song in his mouth. He had found peace with God, as he thought, through faith in Jesus Christ.
Said he: “I want to tell you how much good you did me. When I told you that I had a very wicked heart, and you answered that it was a great deal more wicked than I thought, and then said nothing more to me, I thought it a most cruel thing. I expected something different. I thought you would say more, and my soul was wonderfully cast down.
I did not believe you. I was angry at your treatment. I thought you did not care whether I was ever saved or not; and I did not believe you knew anything about my feelings. But the words rung in my ears, `A great deal more wicked than you think.` I could not get rid of them. They were in my mind the last thing when I went to sleep, and the first when I woke. And then I would be vexed at you for not saying something else. But that was the thing which drove me to Christ. I now know it was just what I needed. I thought, when I went to that meeting, my convictions were very deep. But I have found out they were very slight. You hit my case exactly. If you had talked to me, my burden would have been diminished. But you fastened one idea on my mind. You drove the arrow deeper, when I expected you to do just the contrary; and I could find no relief till I gave up all into the hands of Christ. I know you read my heart exactly.”
After some few minutes conversation with him, he said to me, “I want to ask you a question. I have been thinking of it a great deal, and I cannot conceive how you know what to say to each one, where there are so many. We have been talking about it some of us, and we cannot understand how it is that you can know our thoughts and feelings when nobody has told you. How can you know what to say to one after another, when there are so many, and some of them you have never seen before, and they say so little to you?”
“I have only one rule on that subject,” said I. “I aim to conspire with the Holy Spirit. If I perceive any one truth has impressed the mind, I aim to make its impression deeper; because the Holy Spirit has already made that impression, and I would not diminish it by leading the mind off to something else. If I perceive any error in the individual`s mind, I aim to remove it; for I know that the error is of sin, and not of the Holy Spirit.”
“But,” said he, “our impressions are so different.”
“No matter. They are of the Holy Spirit if truth has made them; and he can choose the kind of truth which is appropriate to any sinner, better than I can. I just aim to conspire with the Holy Spirit.”
Said he, “I am confident if you had said much to me, or anything, to turn my mind away from that one thing, it would have done me hurt. You have no idea how much you increased my trouble that night. I somehow wanted you to lighten my burden – you made it heavier. Then I was soon led to see that none but God could help me. I had partly begun to think my heart was improving. I found out the contrary and turned to God in despair. He gave me peace, through Jesus Christ.”
Nobody Said Anything To Me
January 4, 2022 • Ichabod Spencer
If the Christian speaks to an unconverted sinner, in love, and alone, and without disputation, and in humility, and in the spirit of prayer, his words will do no harm. He may not be able to do good, but at least he can try. The unconverted in the midst of God’s people, meeting them every day, their friends, their associates, and neighbors, certainly ought not to be able to declare, “nobody said anything to me,”—“no man cared for my soul.”
Easy To Be A Christian
January 31, 2022 • Ichabod Spencer
Is it easy to be a Christian? Yes, easy if you will stop trying to save yourself and trust in Christ alone. Here is an excerpt from this audiobook chapter: She said that she had such an awful fear of God's wrath and such a desire to be a Christian that she could think of nothing which she would not do in order to be saved. "Yes," said I, "You would do everything but one, that is consent to do nothing and let Christ save you. You are just going about to establish a righteousness of your own and that is the great reason why you have not submitted yourself to the righteousness of God for Christ is the end of the law to everyone who believes."
Fanaticism Is Not Faith
February 15, 2022 • Ichabod Spencer
The heart that has once been drunk with fanaticism is ever after exposed to the same evil; it will mistake excitement for true religion. Fanaticism is not faith. When the affections and mere-sensibility of the heart are excited, and the understanding and conscience are but little employed, there is a sad preparation for a false hope or some wild delusion for fanatical faith.
