Conflict Resolution

First Christian Church of Newburgh

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Conflict Resolution

September 10, 2023 • Kevin Brimner

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Relational bad habits are easy to pick up and readily available to anyone with social media access. Unresolved conflict that keeps festering will undo any and all of our relationships. Three high level truths: [1] we share the common bond of being made in the image of God and should treat each other with dignity and respect - for everyone in Christ - we are brothers & sisters, [2] because of sin in each of us conflict is inevitable, [3] and as strange as it sounds conflict can be a good thing at times - God uses conflict as a tool to shape and form us as people of grace (“as iron sharpens iron”). Practical advice from Eph 4:15 [1] speak up [2] speak the truth (words they said/actions they did & how it made you feel) [3] speak the truth in love - there is a qualifying motivation that underscores our speaking truth (love), don’t speak to shame them, guilt them, destroy them, or own them, but to love them [4] so that everyone can grow/mature - I can grow, you can grow in Christ, in grace

Heart of Acceptance

September 17, 2023 • Kevin Brimner • Luke 15

You will never have influence in another person’s life until they first feel accepted by you. Pushing people away or forcing them to conform BEFORE accepting them rarely if ever leads to a strong relationship. Approval/ Acceptance/Requirements. The tension of acceptance is messy and has to be fleshed out. Some think it’s okay to pull far away (requirements) and others that we should all live and let live (approval). Jesus keeps stepping into the messy middle of acceptance. Acceptance does not equal approval, there is such a thing as sin that harms God’s good creation. This section will be the longest…lots of things to process Luke 15 is the backdrop for how to live in the tension of acceptance if we take our relationship cues from the father: He was filled with compassion long before the request for forgiveness was spoken, He was the first to run toward them instead of pulling away, His default response was one of grace not merit (earning something) and celebrating what only the Father can do in his wisdom!

Apathy: Relationship Killer

September 24, 2023 • Kevin Brimner • Matthew 22:34–40

God is intentionally relational by nature and we are made in his image. He created you and me to have a relationship based upon love with us. Apathy is a silent relationship killer. Apathy happens in part because relationships are hard; we forget our God-given relational DNA (made in his image); and we’re just too busy. Over the course of one chapter (Mark 5) Jesus counters apathy by stepping into hard relationships, adding value where value was only taken away, and surrenders his time to look after and minister to relationships that matter. If we were analyzing Jesus’ model of engagement we could break it down to these principles: [1] Be intentional, [2] Add value, [3] Invest your time (quantity & quality) and heart.

The Key to Forgiveness

October 1, 2023

Forgiveness is as much a reality as offensiveness is. Healthy relationships will be littered with offense and forgiveness. If we stopped each friendship with every encounter of trouble/uncomfortable dynamics, we would have no relationships…just a string of disappointments. But does forgiveness have limits? Surprisingly, no! We give out or give up on mending relationships through forgiveness because it goes against whatever our internal sense of justice is. Don’t believe me? Have you heard or used the phrase, “You’ve made your bed now sleep in it!”? But God’s love toward us is much greater than we can comprehend and the affront of our sin is equally greater than we can fathom. His forgiveness is the standard we aspire to, trying to emulate it as best we can in a fallen world. Keys to relational forgiveness: [1] Forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation. Boundaries (emotional, physical, even distance/proximity) are important aspects of healthy relationships. [2] Forgiveness is a leading topic when it comes to prayers. [3] As hard as it may seem, living with a forgiving spirit is for your benefit.