Everywhere you turn, you're faced with decisions. Do I do this? Do I go here? Move here? Reenlist? Pursue that next level? Talk about this problem? Say this? Get this shot? Wear a mask? What is best for my kids? Fight for my marriage? Look the other way? Forgive? And on...and on...and on...
If you really think about it, decisions, and the amount we have to make, will crush us if we aren't careful. For some, the ability to make a decision is somewhat foreign, for others, decision-making comes easy. But if our minds are left unchecked, we will find ourselves going down the slippery slope of our thoughts. Is this the right decision to make? Am I overanalyzing? Am I compromising my own beliefs? Am I right? Am I wrong?
Want to know how to begin the process of sharing the weight of decisions...whether you're faced with big, life altering ones or small, seemingly meaningless ones? Here's the secret... You ready? One word...DISCUSS!
Yep, it's that hard and that simple all mixed together. Have a conversation with someone you trust about the decisions you are facing. Those trusted few will help guide you. Here are a few things to keep in mind...
+ Don't present the answers you want to hear.
+ Ask to talk, explain the situation, and listen.
+ Discuss it with trusted friends...not folks who you think will go along with what you want.
+ Make pros and cons lists together.
+ Ask them to support you through whatever ways you need, such as prayer, accountability, more conversations, bold truth, etc.
+ Have a conversation over a meal. Create an atmosphere where you're talking while you're also doing something else. You'll be surprised how much easier it is to talk it out.
+ When discussion is over, decide, and move!
JOURNAL: Hit the "Take a Note" button on this page and write out your thoughts and use these questions as a guide.
+ What do I feel after reading this?
+ What can I do about it?
Crushed by Decisions
#TBTJournal // Entry 260 -- Crushed - Part 2
September 16, 2021
Navigate - Part 7
February 18, 2023
Hey Warrior...NAVIGATE! Healing, it's something you never thought possible. Looking back, you see the moment that your life changed forever, and you remember the lump in the pit of your stomach that you never thought would go away. The pain, the very real pain, has not completely ended, and truth is, it won't. But, what it will do, is change. It will definitely be triggered at times, even if those times are fewer and fewer, but triggered nonetheless. You will see that your history of navigating this unexpected moment has not only brought you to a place where you never thought you would be but has also provided with it a history that proves that navigation is possible and overcoming is attainable. This is not the first, nor the last, time that you will be face to face with the gut-wrenching pain of a mishap. Oh yes, it will happen again in some other way, but here you are. Surviving. Are the ideas expressed in this mini-series an exhaustive approach to overcoming any issue? No. But they are mindsets that we need to adopt, choices we need to make, and realities that we need to know are true. So as you walk, walk with assurance. Assurance that you are strong. Assurance that you are not alone. Assurance that you are wise. Walk, yes, tiptoe if you must, but move. And always, ALWAYS, as you look back, no matter what you find, let it be a lesson that you learned that helps you charge forward.
Navigate - Part 6
February 17, 2023
Hey Warrior...NAVIGATE! One of the most challenging things we navigate as we begin to work toward healing and recovery is expectation, thoughts, what everyone else might think, peer pressure, family pressure, etc. We find ourselves making strides and then, sometimes out of nowhere, we have walked right in to the opinion of others. In these moments, we must look back and see who those few were that we saw when we looked around us and determined what our current reality was. THOSE people, those friends, those family members are the ones we need to listen to and value their opinion. Truth is, you probably have been listening to their wisdom already. They are probably already speaking truth into your life....truth that is born out of love, and also out of a duty to protect you and care for you well. If this is the case, then lean on that and, as hard as it seems, allow that to fill in the areas where doubt and fear may creep in. It is easy, and almost expected, to be extremely sensitive to the thoughts of the crowd, but those thoughts can not occupy the critical mental head space that sound truth and sound wisdom must occupy. Yes, take the wisdom of your friends and family, only if they are those truth-worthy few who love you enough to tell you the truth, speak to you and not about you, ask you the hard questions without inserting their own answers, and walk with you every step of the way. The expectations and thoughts of those close few, are never going to come in the form of doubt. They will be known. They will be trusted. They will be kind.
Navigate - Part 5
February 16, 2023
Hey Warrior...NAVIGATE! So you're owning your current new reality, even if it just happened, or if the situation that rocked your world happened months or even years ago. It's time to move, and as someone once said "Crawl if you must..." How do I know where to go? What do I do with my grief-stricken or embarrassment-laden hands? Well, let me ask you a question... What are you looking for? I recently got to talk with a friend of mine and his first words, muffled with tears, were "I just want recovery." He was desperately looking, like we all do, but couldn’t see recovery because he kept seeing the thing he had lost. He really did want restoration, but needed help seeing that restoration may not look like recovering what once was. That’s what he thought his recovery had to include when maybe it was the thing that wasn’t even needed and the actual loss of it might just open doors for his ability to grow and help others. Now, am I saying that the loss of a loved one is a good thing for us? No, never. However, what I am saying is that with every loss, every mistake, every heartache, every misstep...there is an equal and opposite reaction that is solely based on how you react to the situation at hand. When we face the reality that "life will never be the same," we must also face the reality that ultimately that fact does not have to be a bad thing. Will it be better? Worse? No, and No. You can't compare the future with the past. The question to ask is "Will it be different? Yes. And for those of us dealing with things like the sudden loss of someone we love, different can be okay. And for those of us dealing with things like the revelation of some horrific mistake, different can be good. He was carrying a gigantic burden that he didn’t have to carry as he was pursuing what he lost. Today, let's lay down those burdens and pursue recovery, knowing that recovering might just lead us to something different and equally good...and that is okay. But b- b- but buuuuut, how do we navigate expectation, thoughts, what everyone else might think, peer pressure, family pressure, etc? Well, check back right here tomorrow.