The Wisdom of Marriage

Christ Redeemer Church

The Wisdom of Marriage

selected passages from Proverbs; December 1, 2024; Don Willeman

December 1, 2024 • Don Willeman • Proverbs 31:10–12, Proverbs 31:27–31, Proverbs 14:26–27, Proverbs 18:22, Proverbs 5:15–18

QUOTES FOR REFLECTION

“In your love you see only the heaven of your own happiness, but in marriage you are placed at a post of responsibility towards the world and mankind. Your love is your own private possession, but marriage is more than something personal—it is a status, an office…. As high as God is above man, so high are the sanctity, the rights, and the promise of marriage above the sanctity, the rights, and the promise of love. It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.

“God makes your marriage indissoluble. ‘What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder’. God joins you together in marriage; it is His act, not yours.”

~Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906-1945), to his niece on the announcement of her wedding, written while imprisoned for opposition to Adolf Hitler

“Yet man being made last of the creatures, as the best and most excellent of all, Eve’s being made after Adam, and out of him, puts an honor upon that sex, as the glory of the man, 1 Cor. 11:7. If man is the head, she is the crown, a crown to her husband, the crown of the visible creation. The man was dust refined, but the woman was dust double-refined….”

“That the woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.”

~Matthew Henry (1662-1714) in his commentary on Ephesians 5:21-25

“A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.”

~Unknown

“To keep your marriage brimming with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.”

~Ogden Nash (1902-1971), American poet

“Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You are one of them.”

~Unknown

SERMON PASSAGE

selected passages from Proverbs (ESV)

Proverbs 2

1 My son, if you receive my words

and treasure up my commandments with you…

5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord

and find the knowledge of God….

16 So you will be delivered from the forbidden woman,

from the adulteress with her smooth words,

17 who forsakes the companion of her youth

and forgets the covenant of her God….

Proverbs 5

15 Drink water from your own cistern,

flowing water from your own well.

16 Should your springs be scattered abroad,

streams of water in the streets?

17 Let them be for yourself alone,

and not for strangers with you.

18 Let your fountain be blessed,

and rejoice in the wife of your youth….

Proverbs 12

4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,

but she who brings shame

is like rottenness in his bones.

Proverbs 17

1 Better is a dry morsel with quiet

than a house full of feasting with strife.

Proverbs 18

22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing

and obtains favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 19

14 House and wealth are inherited from fathers,

but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

Proverbs 31

10 An excellent wife who can find?

She is far more precious than jewels.

11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,

and he will have no lack of gain.

12 She does him good, and not harm,

all the days of her life….

27 She looks well to the ways of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praises her:

29 “Many women have done excellently,

but you surpass them all.”

30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,

but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,

and let her works praise her in the gates.

Proverbs 24

3 By wisdom a house is built,

and by understanding it is established;

4 by knowledge the rooms are filled

with all precious and pleasant riches.

Proverbs 14

26 In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence,

and his children will have a refuge.

27 The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life,

that one may turn away from the snares of death.

The Duty and Delight of Wisdom

December 15, 2024 • Proverbs 8

QUOTES FOR REFLECTION “…wisdom is the spring of joy, for the joy breaks out whenever and wherever the Creator’s wisdom is exercised.” ~Derek Kidner (1913-2008), British Old Testament scholar “You are happy when God blesses you, but not as happy as God is.” ~C.H. Spurgeon (1834-1892), famed London preacher “People don’t get depressed when they face threats collectively; they get depressed when they feel isolated, lonely, or useless.” ~Jonathan Haidt in The Anxious Generation “To me there is in happiness an element of self-forgetfulness. You lose yourself in something outside yourself when you are happy; just as when you are desperately miserable you are intensely conscious of yourself, are a solid little lump of ego weighing a ton.” ~Joseph Priestley (1733-1804), English chemist, philosopher, and educator “There cannot be done so great an injury and displeasure to almighty God our Father, as to tread underfoot Christ, His only-begotten and well-beloved Son. All other sins in the world, gathered together in one, be not so heinous and detestable in the sight of God. And no wonder, for in Christ crucified, God doth show Himself most noble and glorious, even an almighty God, and most loving Father, in His only dear and chosen blessed Son. And therefore I count myself one of the most wicked and miserable sinners, because I have been so much contrary to Christ my Savior…. “But, now, what maketh me so bold and hardy, to presume to come to the Lord with such audacity and boldness, being so great a sinner? Truly, nothing but His own Word: for He saith, ‘Come to me all ye that labor, and are burdened, and I shall refresh you.’ What gentle, merciful, and comfortable words are these, to all sinners! What a most gracious, comfortable, and gentle saying was this, with such pleasant and sweet words to allure His enemies to come unto Him! Is there any worldly prince or magistrate that would show such clemency and mercy to their disobedient and rebellious subjects…? I suppose they would not with such words allure them…. But even as Christ is Prince of Princes and Lord of Lords, so His charity and mercy surmounteth all others.” ~Katharine Parr, the final wife of Henry VIII, in “Lamentations of a Sinner” “Only the unconditional love of God for sinners will inspire sinners to love God more than their sin.” ~Dr. John Ashley Null, English Reformation scholar SERMON PASSAGE Proverbs 8 (ESV) 1 Does not wisdom call? Does not understanding raise her voice? 2 On the heights beside the way, at the crossroads she takes her stand; 3 beside the gates in front of the town, at the entrance of the portals she cries aloud: 4 “To you, O men, I call, and my cry is to the children of man…. 22 “The Lord possessed me at the beginning of his work, the first of his acts of old. 23 Ages ago I was set up, at the first, before the beginning of the earth. 24 When there were no depths I was brought forth, when there were no springs abounding with water. 25 Before the mountains had been shaped, before the hills, I was brought forth, 26 before he had made the earth with its fields, or the first of the dust of the world. 27 When he established the heavens, I was there; when he drew a circle on the face of the deep, 28 when he made firm the skies above, when he established the fountains of the deep, 29 when he assigned to the sea its limit, so that the waters might not transgress his command, when he marked out the foundations of the earth, 30 then I was beside him, like a master workman, and I was daily his delight, rejoicing before him always, 31 rejoicing in his inhabited world and delighting in the children of man. 32 “And now, O sons, listen to me: blessed are those who keep my ways. 33 Hear instruction and be wise, and do not neglect it. 34 Blessed is the one who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting beside my doors. 35 For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favor from the Lord, 36 but he who fails to find me injures himself; all who hate me love death.” John 1 1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4 In him was life, and the life was the light of men. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. 14 And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.

The Power of the Tongue

December 8, 2024 • Chris Audino • Proverbs 15:1–4, Proverbs 18:20–21, Proverbs 21:23–24, James 1:26, Proverbs 13:3

QUOTES FOR REFLECTION “All I need is a sheet of paper and something to write with, and then I can turn the world upside down.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche “Words are not in the power of men; men are in the power of words.” ~Hermann Bahr “I consider looseness with words no less of a defect than looseness of the bowels.” ~John Calvin “Even though our tongue cannot be tamed by human nature, it can be tamed by the Holy Spirit.” ~Jackie Hill Perry “A little criticism makes me angry, and a little rejection makes me depressed. A little praise raises my spirits, and a little success excites me. It takes very little to raise me up or thrust me down. Often I am like a small boat on the ocean, completely at the mercy of its waves. All the time and energy I spend in keeping some kind of balance and preventing myself from being tipped over and drowning shows my life is mostly a struggle for survival: not a holy struggle, but an anxious struggle resulting from the mistaken idea that it is the world that defines me.” ~Henri Nouwen “That non-bony, flappable instrument between our bicuspids can be an instrument of tremendous good or cataclysmic destruction. It can be used to build people up in the faith or to destroy their hard-earned reputations. It can help bring about peace among nations or can start a war.” ~Curtis Thomas SERMON PASSAGE Proverbs 13:3, 15:1-2, 4, 18:20-21, 21:23-24, James 1:26 (ESV) Proverbs 13 3 Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. Proverbs 15 1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 2 The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly…. 4 A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. Proverbs 18 20 From the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach is satisfied; he is satisfied by the yield of his lips. 21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. Proverbs 21 23 Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble. 24 “Scoffer” is the name of the arrogant, haughty man who acts with arrogant pride. James 1 26 If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.

The Foolishness of Ingratitude

November 24, 2024 • Don Willeman • Romans 1:18–32, Proverbs 3:5–9

QUOTES FOR REFLECTION “I wonder if one of the sins we are entertaining beneath all other sins is discontentment, a lack of gratefulness, a lack of thanksgiving. What if when the serpent came, instead of entertaining him, [Eve] thanked God for what He gave her thus far? ‘I’ve got God and I’m thankful! I’ve got all these other trees and I’m thankful!’” ~Jackie Hill Perry, writer, poet, and hip-hop artist “The thing at bottom is, that men have low thoughts of God, and high thoughts of themselves; and therefore it is that they look upon God as having so little right, and they so much.” ~Jonathan Edwards (1703-1758) New England minister and theologian “Sin is the dare of God’s justice, the rape of His mercy, the jeer of His patience, the slight of His power, and the contempt of His love.” ~John Bunyan (1628-1688), writer and preacher “A madman is not someone who has lost his reason but someone who has lost everything but his reason” ~G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936), author and literary critic “Time and again, studies have shown that performing simple gratitude exercises, like keeping a gratitude diary or writing letters of thanks, can bring a range of benefits.…. [T]he more practice you give your brain at feeling and expressing gratitude, the more it adapts to this mind-set ... a sort of gratitude ‘muscle’ that can be exercised and strengthened.” ~Dr. Christian Jarrett, British cognitive neuroscientist “Remember that this God in whose hand are all creatures, is your Father, and is much more tender of you than you are, or can be, of yourself. “Consider solemnly, that though the things you fear should really happen, yet there is more evil in your own fear than in the things feared…. Fear is both a multiplying and a tormenting passion; it represents troubles as much greater than they are, and so tortures the soul much more than the suffering itself.” ~John Flavel (1627-1691) in Keeping Heart SERMON PASSAGE selected passages from Proverbs and Romans (ESV) Proverbs 3 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. 7 Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. 8 It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones. 9 Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce… Romans 1 18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. 19 For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. 20 For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. 21 For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Claiming to be wise, they became fools, 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things. 24 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, 25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen. 26 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error. 28 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. 29 They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, 31 foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32 Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.