“What makes Corner Four relationships so powerful is that they don’t end even after they end. The lessons we learn, the phrases that motivate us, are ours to keep forever. Psychologists refer to this process as internalization.” (The Power of the other, p.166) Good parents, teachers, coaches, and mentors understand their role is to push for more. They are not satisfied with the status quo, but instill discipline that although hard initially reaps lifelong results. In other words, Corner Four relationships resolve to bring out the best in their child (student, athlete, employee) even if it means temporary pain.
The Power of the Process
November 20, 2016
November 20, 2016 • Dr Charles Kyker
More from
Power of the Other
The Power of the Pardon
November 13, 2016 • Dr Charles Kyker
We all have times of complete failure—times when things go really bad and the only person we have to blame is ourselves. When this happens, as difficult as it is to think forward (and even rationally), we find ourselves at a critical juncture. Are we going to allow the negative voices of judgment, guilt, and shame play over and over in our heads, or are we going to move on? In his book, The Power of the Other, Dr. Henry Cloud says that good a Corner Four connection can help us confront the deadly grip of the failure beast head-on. This is the power of the other.
The Power of Freedom
November 6, 2016 • Dr Charles Kyker
We long to connect. Dr. Henry Cloud describes four corners of connection in his book, The Power of the Other. Corner One is no connection—where we isolate ourselves emotionally. Although we may interact with many people at work and home, we withdraw from others in order to avoid deep levels of truth-telling and vulnerability. Corner Two is the bad connection where we can never measure up to the other person's standard. It's unrealistic, unproductive, and unhealthy. Corner Three is the pseudo (feel good) connection where we put on the game-face, but in times of crisis there is no depth or commitment. Finally, Corner Four is good connections that allow us to thrive through deep levels of trust, love, and support.
The Power of a Vertical Relationship
October 30, 2016 • Dr Charles Kyker
We all experience difficult times in life. No one is exempt from seasons of weakness, sorrow, discouragement, and brokenness—moments when we need help and support from others. The Lord knows this. He “knows how weak we are; He remembers we are only dust”. And a true friend is a gift, in fact, “a real friend sticks closer than a brother” when times get hard (see Proverbs 18:24b). The Lord designed us to be in community because He wants us to remember He is God and we are not, and within a community of love, a healthy friendship is a reflection of His goodness. When we are there for each other during difficult times, the love, sup-port and encouragement we receive from one another is like fuel from heaven, energy we desperately need to keep moving forward and up-ward.