Connected, Not Alone

Christ Church Charlotte

Connected, Not Alone

September 18, 2024 • The Reverend Elizabeth Walker

My family has moved several times in the last few years, which has often made the start of the school year a challenge. Each year, my children have had to figure out new friends, new carpools, new hallways, new teachers, and new teams. This is a lot of adjustment, and it hasn’t been easy.

In my first months at Christ Church, a kind soul asked after my kids. I shared a few details, and she replied, "You are only as happy as your least happy child." I hadn’t heard this before, and I haven’t forgotten it. That phrase struck a chord, not just because of its truth in parenting, but because of how it speaks to a larger reality of life in community.

This conversation came back to me after Sunday’s Faith Forum, where the Christ Church clergy shared stories from our spiritual journeys, speaking about the influences on our faith in our early lives and sharing reflections on times when our wells of faith seemed to run dry. As we talked about those dry seasons, it became clear that the connections we had – whether with God, community, or loved ones – were often what sustained us. Just like my children adjusting to a new environment, we’ve all experienced times when we felt lost or disconnected, only to be drawn back by the love and support of others.

Our wellbeing connects to those around us. Our wells run dry when we see others around us suffer. We share in each other's pain and joy, just as much as we share in our own. Paul writes in Galatians 6:2, "Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ." Our hearts expand and contract with the joys and sorrows of the people around us.

While this might seem like a lot to bear – to be only as happy as your least happiest child, or spouse, or neighbor, or friend – it is also the route to wellness. Writer and activist bell hooks once said, "Rarely, if ever, are any of us healed in isolation." The peace of Christ flows when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to open up and let others help carry what we can’t carry on our own. That’s where real healing happens – in the messy, imperfect connections we build with others.

Wellbeing comes when we allow ourselves to be held in community. Together, we reflect the wholeness of God’s love – a love that heals, comforts, and nurtures. The burdens are lighter, the joy is sweeter, and the love is stronger when we walk with others, participating in God's vision of abundant life for all.

O God, You Have Searched Me and Known Me

November 20, 2024 • The Reverend Chip Edens

You and I crave being known and understood. We all long for and treasure someone we can trust, someone who will not recoil when they see and come to know us – warts and all. Being known is as essential as bread and water. It nourishes the soul. Without it, we wither. Like the age-old riddle, “Does a tree falling in the forest make a sound if no one hears it?” – do we truly exist if no one knows us? If no one hears our cry, sees our pain, or celebrates our victories? Years ago, I sat in an open forum and listened to a very “well known” man confess, “No one really knows me.” This person was a legend in the business community, known by everyone – or so it seemed. But his work and place in the community left him feeling isolated. He said he was known only by what people thought him to be, not who he truly was. Here’s the life-giving truth of the gospel: God knows you. “You have searched me, O God, and you know me” (Psalm 139:1). Every hidden part, every unspoken fear, every moment of doubt and failure – God knows it all, and doesn’t flinch. God doesn’t turn away. In fact, God draws closer. God’s love is not based on our performance, our success, or even our faithfulness. It is relentless, unearned, and infinite. God is the ultimate safe presence. In God’s care, we find the courage to face ourselves because we know we are held in perfect love. Grace whispers to us: You are known. You are loved. You are enough. So, may we become like Christ to one another. May we be the kind of people who create spaces where others can breathe, let their guard down, and know they are safe. May we embody the characteristics of safe people – offering both grace and truth, listening without judgment, and loving without condition. And in doing so, may we remind the world that the God who knows us fully and loves us endlessly is as close as our next breath.

Inextricably Linked

November 13, 2024

And the king will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.’ – Matthew 25:40 Many of you attended – either onsite or online – this past Sunday’s Faith Forum. It was part of the November series presented by the Outreach & Mission team focusing on our congregational priorities of Faith, Connection, and Wellbeing for All. This month we have chosen to accentuate the FOR ALL part of that. On November 3, we had an interactive conversation examining what connection and wellbeing look like in our own lives. Then, we widened our view to think about what they might look like in the worlds of some of our neighbors who differ from us in age, wealth, ability, race, education, native language, or whatever. Things that we take for granted – heat, groceries, transportation, visitors, etc. – suddenly became more consciously integral to what it means to be well, to be cared for, to be connected. Perhaps our conversation also helped us to see that providing those things for others out of our abundance is integral to our own connection, wellbeing, and yes, our faith, as per Matthew 25:40. This past Sunday, November 10, Laura Konitzer and I hosted a panel discussion on a wholistic approach, with representatives from four more of our partners. We talked about the intersectionality of the issues affecting not just Charlotte, but also our whole country. It is impossible to try to fix the affordable housing crisis without also addressing public education, transportation, affordable childcare, a living wage, food insecurity, good healthcare for all, etc. They are inextricably linked. The phrase “wrap-around services” describes the collaboration efforts of many non-profits in our city to address multiple issues concurrently. For example, Charlotte Family Housing works with Common Wealth to help families increase their financial literacy. Rama Road Elementary partners with Families Forward to provide mentors for students’ families who are stretched thin. Nourish Up and the Diaper Bank work together so that families can obtain the things they need more efficiently. This coming Sunday, November 17, Doug Ey will talk with Erskine Bowles, Nelson Schwab, and others from the Housing Impact Fund on a strategy to preserve naturally-occurring affordable housing. Through the Transforming Hearts campaign, we’ve been able to fund a community health worker to help families find the help they need. On Sunday, November 24, we’ll discuss how faith, connection, and wellbeing have all been nurtured in Beloved Community with our friends from Saint Michael & All Angels Episcopal Church. Recently, I attended a breakfast gathering with Right Moves for Youth from which I had a couple of takeaways. Dr. Virginia Covill of “Leading on Opportunity” talked about the importance of longitudinal relationships in changing the long-term trajectories of people’s lives. Christ Church has room to grow in this area, to develop and maintain relationships for significant periods of time with people who differ from us. The “return on investment” is always amazing. Tutoring, Girl Scouts, Common Wealth, Families Forward, and Right Moves for Youth provide just some of those opportunities. My second takeaway came from Frank Bragg, founder of Bragg Financial. He discussed the difference between addressing the symptoms versus the causes of disparity and inequity. Addressing the symptoms (A) is giving someone a box of food for this week. Addressing the causes (B) is to advocate on behalf of and change policy and practices until there is no one who goes hungry. The more we do (B), the less need there will be for (A) and the world will be just a little more like the Kingdom of God. In the words of Frederick Buechner*, “Our happiness is all mixed up with each other’s happiness and our peace with each other’s peace. Our own happiness, our own peace, can never be complete until we find some way of sharing it with people who, the way things are now, have no happiness and know no peace. Jesus calls us to show this truth forth, live this truth forth. Be the light of the world, he says. Where there are dark places, be the light especially there… Be life-givers to others. That is what Jesus tells the disciples to be. That is what Jesus tells his Church, tells us, to be and do. Love each other. Heal the sick, he says. Raise the dead. Cleanse lepers. Cast out demons. That is what loving each other means. If the Church is doing things like that, then it is being what Jesus told it to be. If it is not doing things like that – no matter how many other good and useful things it may be doing instead – then it is not being what Jesus told it to be. It is as simple as that.” + _____ *From The Clown in the Belfry, Frederick Buechner, p. 154-155.

Facing Our Fears

October 30, 2024

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays of the year. As a child, I loved dressing up and going door to door for candy. (Who doesn’t?) We lived on a street with sidewalks and kind older people who were glad to remark on my Star Wars costume or the time that my brother dressed up as Maverick from Top Gun. For years, I held onto the plastic hook that was part of my pirate costume. We moved to Charlotte about the time our kids no longer needed us to go trick or treating. This means that every year, my wife and I get to sit on our porch and welcome the ghosts and the Swifties and the characters from the Marvel Universe. We hand out Fun Dip because nobody’s parents will ever let them have Fun Dip. We chat with neighbors we rarely see. And the kids love us because, did I mention that we hand out Fun Dip? You can read the Wikipedia page or a scholarly article about the origins of Halloween as easily as I can. I only want to emphasize that the haunted houses and the creepy decorations and even the masks that we wear all help us to face our fears. On All Saint’s Day, we honor the saints who’ve come before us, and that also means acknowledging the sometimes scary reality of death. Whatever we’re afraid of – a new job, a new town, a new school, the end of a relationship, or the first Christmas without a loved one – can feel a little bit like dying. “I’ll just die if I don’t have any friends at my new school.” “I can’t imagine going on without her at the Christmas dinner.” Whatever our fear or our loss, these feelings of dread are real. And that burden is lighter when it is shared. In handing out sweet treats (like Fun Dip), our wild costumes, and our neighborhood rituals, we are sharing that burden of our fears. We are facing our fear of death together. In our costumes, we can become the scary thing, or we can play the part of the impervious superhero who is never afraid of the scary thing. We put on a costume hoping to become something that remains just beyond our reach. We hand out candy and we delight in each other’s costumes and decorations as a way to share the burden of our fear. Church is the place where you can face those fears without a mask, without dressing up as anything other than yourself: a beloved child of God. We may revel in our annual Trunk or Treat celebration, but that’s only once a year! Every week, the church invites you to be known: not for your costume, but for the unique gifts that God has given to only you. We want to help you discover those gifts, share those gifts, and celebrate those gifts. We want to walk alongside you in your fear and in your loss. And, we want to have fun together! God is in your whole life. It feels like everything in church begins with, “The Lord be with you.” And he is. God is with you. Not just the perfect you (whenever you figure that out). Not just the holy you (in those moments when you get it right). Not just the happy you and not just the mindful, best version of you. The Lord be with YOU. All of you. Unmasked. No special costume required.